growing wings | Completed

21. my sun, moon and stars

      the first time i had colors swirling on my skin, she hadn't noticed.

       i think it was the second time she had.

      eyes vibrant with curiosity, she asked me in the gentlest voice if she was allowed to see,

      and it took my breath away, yet i remained stoic.

       i wish i could paint the waves of glistening rays that were in the eyes that reminded me of the sun,

       i wish i could etch my skin with the way her smile quirked up and reminded me of the sea's gentle cool breeze.

       i wish i could illustrate what she did to me,

       for it would be the most beautiful thing in the world.

       with stygian gold eyes, and locks of the night,

       and skin of the deserts dunes,

        she is my sun, moon and stars.

       curling my hand in a fist full of yearning, i pulled my sleeve,

       with my heartbeat thundering in my ears, i could not hear her eloquent words.

        i was deaf with nerves.

       to expose my tainted skin was like giving her a knife and asking her to butcher me.

       to show her a part of what i am was like giving her the rope i'd end my life with.

       to allow her in was like letting her write my suicide note.

       yet, i wasn't afraid. i was eager.

       i mean, she focuses on getting into the world, and i focus on getting out of this hellhole.

       maybe she is a blessing in disguise. and i, a curse.

        i'm waiting for her to recoil and have her gold melt into fiery coal and burn me with her gaze.

        i'm waiting.

- my sun, moon and stars