Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

Can't Go Back

Gracie

As the holidays come around I find it hard to be upset about anything really. I mean, there's snow on the ground and love in the air. Kids are making lists of things they want for Christmas and parents are busting their ass to make their kids happy. It's not perfect, but it's defiantly a better feeling than the times that aren't around the holidays.

And this year is a little different because for me the holidays aren't about who gets each other the best gift or getting something we want, but I see it as time to spend time with people who don't have a lot of time to spend. And since Jonathan was gone a lot for games and when he was here he was still working, I know how important these times are for him. To all the guys who have a life outside of hockey and don't always get to do the things they want to do because they have obligations. But it also makes time like these that much more special.

So I change into a pair of jeans and a nice sweater before throwing on a heavy coat. Chicago in the winter was no joke and I wasn't about to play around with it. So I add some gloves and a scarf and a hat on for good measure.

I walk out to my room and head to the door before my dad steps in front of it.

"Where do you think you're going" he asks and I let out a sigh.

"I already told you this, I'm going over to Jonathan and Patrick's to watch Christmas movies and make cookies" I say.

"No you're not" he claims and I cross my arms over my chest.

"And why not" I question.

"Because you were supposed to come to dinner with my friend Eric and his son Thomas" he claims.

"And why would I do that" I ask.

"Because Thomas has a good job here in the city and he can take care of you" he claims.

"I don't want a baby sitter. Why would I need that if I have you" I ask.

"You will not talk to me in such a manner" he gasps.

"I wouldn't have to defend myself if you weren't so against me being happy with Jon in the first place" I defend.

"I'm not attacking your happiness" he claims.

"You're attacking my relationship by going behind my back and setting me up with your friends kid when you know I am in a serious relationship with someone else. That's pretty low... even for you" I say.

"And what is that supposed to mean" he challenges.

"It means that I'm tired of your shit. I'm tired of you acting like what you do is okay. I'm tired of acting like what you're doing is okay. I'm tired of smiling when you joke around with your friends about my boyfriend and say mean things even though we both know what you say isn't funny. I'm tired of you treating me like a child who doesn't know how to take care of herself. I'm tired of having to explain to my boyfriend that my father isn't a bad guy when I know that's not true. And most of all I'm tired of these foolish games. Of you trying to control of my life and me letting you do it" I yell.

"I'm your father, that's what I do. I have been busting my ass trying to find a guy for you that would be good in your life but you're not even trying to see what I see. I have a great place for you in this family and you're being too stubborn to see that it will never happen with that boy. You with him is not a good person and I just want my daughter back. Not this girl who runs off with him then comes back drunk or misses brunches with her friends. Can't you see he's ruining everything you worked so hard for" he asks.

"You're wrong about him daddy. You think you know him just like you think you know me. But he's real, he is so kind and so loving. I could just lay with him for hours without saying a word and feel so inspired because he's that great of a guy. But you never gave him the chance to show you the real him, and you don't listen when I try to tell you so I'm not sure what to say anymore. I'm not meeting any of your entitled money hungry clones and I sure as hell am not going to fall in love with him" I scoff.