Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

Means So Much

Jonathan

Valentine's Day this year comes right when I leave for Vancouver. Unfortunately for me, Gracie wouldn't be coming with me because she's against leaving the house let alone the country, but we did get to spend today together. Plus Veronica and Pat hit it off so her and Gracie can keep a eye on each other while Patrick and I were gone.

But for a little under two weeks I would be in Vancouver competing for Team Canada in the Olympics like I've always dreamed of as a kid. I really wanted her to be there to experience it with me but I get it, she's going through some things and this way I didn't need to hire a house sitter.

"Do I have to dress up" Gracie asks as she goes through the closet getting ready for our Valentine's Day plans.

"You know it doesn't matter to me, you always look incredible in my eyes" I insist and she stops shuffling through her clothes so she can smile at me. She stares at me for a while before walking out of the closest.

She walks over to me as I scoot back into the bed. She climbs on top of me before playfully pushing me down onto the bed. One of her legs swings over my chest as she straddles me. Her hands starting to slip under my shirt and search my body for whatever they can touch. Her little fingers dig into my skin making me feel all types crazy.

"What are you doing" I finally ask and she starts to smirk.

"You know, Patrick is on his first date with Veronica so they'll be out for a while" she claims.

"Yeah" I smile.

"And I really need to get out of these clothes" she adds on.

"Yeah" I say again not really trusting my voice to say anything else.

"Can you help me" she whispers in my ear.

I grab the bottom of her shirt and easily pull it over her head leaving her in a bra. I see a tattoo on her rib cage and my eyes go big.

"You have a tattoo" I ask and she laughs.

"I told you, I'm not some perfect angel" she insists.

"Okay, number one, you are a perfect angel. I don't know why the hell I have to keep telling you that you're a perfect angel but I don't mind reminding you. And two, not even I have a tattoo" I insist.

"Well maybe you just need to find something really important to you" she insists.

"Well what does yours say" I question.

"It says "I once was lost, but now I'm found. 'Twas blind but now I see". It's from amazing grace" she explains.

"I love that. Why did you get it" I wonder.

"To be a bad girl" she claims and I laugh. "But also because it was important to me to be my own person. I always preach that, individuality and uniqueness is hard to come by now-a-days. So I got this done not too long ago" she admits.

I lightly run my finger along the writing along her rib cage, it wasn't sticking out anymore but you could still kind of feel it there.

"Did it hurt" I question.

"A little. But it was worth it. Just because something hurts doesn't mean it's bad, it just means you gotta work harder so the pain doesn't bother your anymore" she says softly.

"I hope I'm worth all the pain that you're going through to be with me" I admit.

"Why don't you make it worth it" she questions as she tugs at my waistband.

"Wait. Aren't you supposed to wait until your married" I ask.

"Lust is already a deadly sin, and I'm far past that. So I might was well have something worth confessing" she smirks and I bite my bottom lip.

I quickly undress as she finishes taking her clothes off herself. We stand chest to chest as we look each other over. Both of us wearing nothing but our skin as we embrace each other. I run my hand through her hair as I study her face.

"You are so beautiful, you know that right" I ask.

"I mean I've heard my mom and Dad say it before, but I defiantly wasn't naked when they did" she insists and I laugh.

"I think I want to show you how beautiful you are" I say letting her hair go. "Only if you want me to though."

"I do Jonny. I really do" she insists.

"Are sure this is what you want" I ask again. You only lose your virginity once so I didn't want her to regret this.

"I want you Jon, all of you."

~

"What are you going to do for two weeks without me" I tease as we sit at dinner. We go on more dates than the usual couple in the NHL but it was nice to go somewhere nice for once.

"Let's be honest. Within three days I will be on my way to Vancouver to be with you" she laughs and I smile.

"I was kind of hoping" I admit.

"I really did want to go with you, but things around here are just hard, you know? I really do miss my mom and to a much much lesser extent my dad. He might be a bad guy but he's still my dad. He still did so much for me and just because he fucked up it doesn't mean I forgot all the great things he's done for me up until now. I'm just in a world of firsts for once, no real direction or reason to be going a certain way. It's scary" she admits.

"Well whatever it is you decide, I'm here for you" I insist.

"No matter what the situation is... I'll always choose you" she claims and I get chills down my spine. I remember what she got me for christmas, I've read it a million times already. And no matter how many times she says that she chooses me it gives me chills.

Because this girl could have had it all, the money, the men, the attention, everything. At the snap of a finger she would be treated like a princess and worshiped like a queen.

But she threw all of that away to be with me. When she had a choice to be treated great or to treat me great she decided that her happiness comes from making me happy and I'm not exactly sure what I did to deserve that. I'm no saint and I sure as hell had my fair share of sins. But with her around it doesn't feel like a fight between saints and sinners. It's lovers and losers and she chose love, she chose me.

"What are you thinking so hard about" she asks and I smile.

"Just how I am so lucky to have you" I say. "And that I got you something for Valentine's Day" I continue and she pouts.

"Jon" she whines.

"Calm down, it's just another charm for your bracelet" I tell her and she stops.

"Oh" she says and I could tell she was blushing.

I pull out a little charm from my pant pocket and show it to her. It was a purple lilac, because I know those are her favorites and her mom had a bunch in her garden.

"Jonny, that's so thoughtful" she says softly and I smile.

"I wanted to give you something with meaning" I insist as I put it on. "And I know these are your favorites. I saw them in your mother's garden the other day, they stuck out and they made me think of you because you always stuck out to me. So since your charm bracelet is about who you are and how it makes you beautiful, I figured I would search for this one" I explain.

"How did I get so lucky to find someone who means so much" she asks.

"I ask myself that same question all the time."