She dragged him up the stairs leading to the rooftop where she knew they'd be guaranteed privacy. Once the door shut behind him she threw Chan's hand down as though it was some contaminated object. Her action mildly annoyed Chan, he was used to be treated coldly but not when it involved Na Ri. He hated to admit it but he kind of liked how she would treat him as a human. It'd been so long since anyone else had.
"You wanted to talk so talk!" He snapped as he folded his arms across his chest. The pair stood in awkward silence as the seconds passed by. She knew what she wanted to say but finding the right words was proving difficult.
"What the fuck was that back there?" She began. Her heart was still racing from the ordeal and she felt very confused and conflicted. He rolled his eyes, finding her question irritating. "Don't get the wrong idea, Na Ri. I'm not trying to be your hero or anything." He scoffed. "Good!" She retorted, not appreciating Chan's snarky comment. "Great!" He shot back.
"Amazing!" Na Ri spat. "This has been fun and all but if that's all then I'm gonna go now." Chan turned and pushed the door open but Na Ri grabbed his school jumper, pulling him back.
"Are the rumours really true?" She murmured, half afraid to hear the truth. Chan turned to face her but she wasn't expecting her eyes to be met with his teary ones. A tear dribbled down his cheek as he thought over her question. He was scared to admit the whole truth to her. Chan, despite never showing through his actions, was actually really glad that Na Ri was different to everyone else but he'd always known that once the truth gets out she'd soon change.
"Hey, uh-don't cry." She attempted to comfort him but she felt awkward and embarrassed. He chuckled at her terrible attempt which brought a smile to both their faces. Na Ri had always loved Chan's laugh, perhaps because it seemed as though his life lacked moments for laughter.
Chan looked down at his feet while Na Ri intently watched him. She often wondered what was going through his mind but it was moments like this where Chan looked vulnerable that she was glad she didn't know.
Chan was having an internal battle with himself. He knew there'd come a day when she'd find out the extent of the damage caused by him and a part of him wanted that, after all he did find her annoying. Chan felt as though he deserved to be hated and sometimes Na Ri's persist attempts to talk to him made him feel worse about himself but he also wasn't sure if he was ready to completely lose everyone. To Chan, Na Ri was his everyone. She was the only person he had left.
He took in a deep breath before letting it out and grabbing her small hand. She glanced down at the sudden contact but didn't question it as he pulled her over to the bench. "Sit!" He commanded before releasing her. She did as he said and sat cross legged on the bench, looking up at him as he towered over her. He gazed into the distance for a moment while collecting his thoughts, scared to death to admit his wrongdoings out loud.
Chan licked his dry lips before his cold gaze met her warm one. He figured telling her was the only way to push her away before he got too used to her kindness. "The rumours are true...to an extent. I-I don't exactly know what you've been told but I'm sure they aren't far from the truth." He started. Chan slowly moved towards the bench, an anxious feeling arising in him as he sat beside the expectant girl.
"December 31st." He mumbled as he fidgeted with his fingers. She looked at him in confusion. "December 31st?" She repeated and he nodded. "I killed In Ho on December 31st."
"Oh." She whispered. Na Ri eyed the now crying Chan. She wanted to comfort him but everything in her was screaming at her not to. "There was a p-party. I saw h-him and B-Bo Ra arguing on the b-balcony." He stammered. He threw his head into his hands as violent sobs took over his body. Na Ri watched in surprise at the usually emotionless boy. In that moment she decided that Chan's cold exterior was exactly that, an exterior. That wasn't who he was at all and that created a familiar pain in her heart. She realised she was more like Chan than she had originally thought which made her feel more connected to him.
"I just-I just pushed him a-and th-then I watched him f-fall." Chan yelled through his sobs. Na Ri couldn't wrap her head around what she was hearing. She'd always known there was a chance the rumours were true but Chan confirming it made her disappointed. She'd so desperately hoped it was all a misunderstanding or that Chan blamed himself for some accident that really wasn't his fault but here he was, confessing to his crime.
"I'm such a shitty person." He wailed into his hands. Na Ri scooted over to Chan and rubbed his back, trying her best to offer some form of comfort. She decided remaining silent was probably better than feeding him some bullshit 'It'll be okay' speech that she knew wasn't true.
"He looked so scared, Na Ri. He screamed. He fucking screamed." Chan raised his head from his hands and turned to face her. "I murdered my best friend and all for what! Some damn girl that never even loved me!" He yelled before tugging at his hair.
Na Ri's mouth fell agape at the new information. Chan murdering someone for a girl was never mentioned before.
"There's so many things about In Ho that I never understood. He was-he was like a stranger to me in the end. There's so many things I wanna ask him. I should've heard him out when he came to me. I shouldn't have turned him away." He said sadly as he stared into the distance. Some things in the whole story didn't quite add up to Chan but everything happened so fast that he can't remember what really happened and what is just a fictional scenario he created. "I don't really know what to say." Na Ri commented after a moment of silence between the two. There were so many holes in his story but she didn't want to push him too hard.
"You don't have to say anything. Nothing you say will matter anyway." Chan replied. "I know." She sighed, feeling slightly defeated. She could tell Chan was beginning to close off from her again.
The bell for class rang and she jumped up from her seat on the bench. "Thanks for sharing that." She smiled but he could tell it was forced. He watched as she nearly raced to the door and vanished within seconds. A sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he was left alone in the last place him and In Ho had ever spoken with nothing but his memories and thoughts. Just as he'd suspected, she no longer wants to be around him and he felt at peace with that.
Chan let out a sigh, knowing that this indeed was the end of Na Ri's kindness towards him. He wasn't sure how he felt but he knew it was better this way for both of them. She would only face a hard time being with him and he knew he didn't deserve someone as nice as her. After all, Chan was a murderer. Convicted or not that's what he was.
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More of a filler than anything I guess, kinda disappointed in it lol.
Anywayyyyyy, STRAY KIDS ARE FINALLY DEBUTING AND HOLY WOW I CAN'T WAIT!!!
I NEED TO HOLD 'I AM NOT' IN MY LOVING EMBRACE!
Also thank you guys so much. Nearly at 600 reads which is honestly more than I thought I'd get at this stage. Thank you as well for the comments and votes cause I really appreciate it. You guys are so sweet! Love youuuu
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Faded // Bang Chan
FanfictionShe was the new student. He was the school's loner. She was widely liked. He was misunderstood. She found him interesting. He wanted nothing to do with her. "People are like medicine. We use them to feel better and heal and then, when we don't need...
