Randomness

10/3/18

Yes, I'm finally writing again.

Secondary school has been... Hectic and busy.

Anyways, the thing that I wanna talk about is parents not understanding us kids.

A couple days ago, one of mah friends had a breakdown n was ranting to us. He seemed like a pretty cheerful guy so I wasn't really expecting it. We comforted him, and I hoped we helped cause we mostly talked about how it's normal for all of us. That's the problem. For most of us, our parents don't understand us. When they scold us, we cry. and then they scold us because we don't tell them why we are crying. The thing is, why would we wanna tell them, if they don't care.

One example. When I was younger, I was always thrown out of the house and left there for quite a while crying and begging to be let in whenever I was scolded. The neighbours who walked past would always stare at me, with eyes that clearly show pity. I felt humiliated, every single time. At one point, when I wasn't thrown out of the house, I locked myself in the toilet and scream-whispered (idk if that's  word) that I wanted to die. My mum, heard me, and dared me to say it again. I was forced to come out of the toilet, and they began scolding me.

Then my mum left n went into my parents' room. My dad lectured me. But it wasn't about me wanting to die. It was about me hurting their feelings. I mean, WTS. They didn't care about why I wanted to die, all they cared about was their feelings. Why should I care about their feelings when they didn't care about mine? They've been throwing me out of the house and humiliating me sine I was 5, all the way till I was 9. What kind of parents were they? Not surprising that I ran away from home at 9 when they threw me out.

Quite a few kids are facing this problem of their parents not understanding them and I highly doubt that my country is the only one who have this problem. It's not helping us, especially since we have other things to deal with already.

Stress

An international study suggests that Singapore students, known worldwide for academic excellence, also experience high levels of anxiety and have been exposed to bullying. This piece of news is completely true. In both my primary school and secondary school, we all complain about homework. I mean, who doesn't? But we mostly complain about the big amount of homework, and the level of difficulty. There are quite a few of us in my class, who are struggling to complete all the homework given, me included. Sometimes, we even have to sacrifice our half hour break times, recess and lunch, to complete them. Most of the time, when we find the homework difficult, it's not because we did not pay attention in class, it's because the speed the teacher is going at is too fast, and many of us can't understand. That's why, in both groups that I sat with, we had to rely on one another for help when we don't understand. Sometimes, we even have to ask other groups.

In secondary school, the amount of subjects we have to take doubled, from the main 4 in primary school (Math, Science, Chinese/Higher Chinese, English) , to 8 subjects (Math, Higher Chinese, English, Geography, History, Chemistry, Biology and Physics). On top of that, my school also has other additional classes, such as Appreciation of Chinese Culture (BLEGH), Design and Technology (Creating 3D models) which will be switched to Food and Consumption Education later on, Computer classes, Art which would be switched to Music later on. Co-curricular activities (Sports/Performing Arts/Uniform Groups/Clubs and Societies) are also compulsory, and they last for at least 3 hours a day, a couple times a week.

Geography, History, Chemistry, Biology and Physics are relatively new to us, and we only know the basics. Hence, we have trouble learning them. The history teacher's voice is soo muffled, that we sometimes can't make out what she's saying. She also has MAJOR mood swings sometimes. The Geography teacher is alright, but I have difficulty with the topic (I'm doing Geog revision even as I write this)  the Science teacher (Physics, currently) doesn't teach in detail and we sometimes don't understand the concept.

With all these, we can't really cope and barely have time for revision. Some people take a long time to travel to and fro, some have an extra third language to study for, others have to deal with both, like me. Hence, we struggle to complete all our homework as best as we can, some even burning the midnight oil. And we're either 13 year olds, or turning 13 this year. Who knows how things would be like as we get older.

Obsession over good results

Some parents are pushing us to get high marks for exams. They will do anything in their ability to make sure us kids meet their expectations. Scolding them, taking away the usage of electronic devices, minimizing our break time, sending them to extra tuitions.

There are also other parents who are really unreasonable. Because they want their child to be an "all rounder", they send the child to different classes, for example, piano, guitar, taekwondo, even if it's against their child's wish. That's really scary. I know of a friend who has many different activities , guzheng and piano lessons being 2 of them, having many tuitions and is very stressed. She's not allowed to use her phone unless necessary and she hasn't eaten sweets since she was young. That's sadddd. T-T

These are only 2 of what we are going through. It's not surprising that we have all thought about suicide more than once before. I just feel that this is something important that should be shared. If this offended anyone in any way, sorry? It's all from my point of view, from a regular girl who's turning 13 this year.

Enough of all da gloomy shiz.

I'm gonna go waveboard at sunset way later, and play table tennis with mah friend n his dad n younger bro after tuition tomorrow! THE HOLIDAYS HAVE OFFICIALLY BEGAN PEOPLE!! GD JOB SURVIVING THE FIRST TERM!!!

PEACE OUT PPL