Falling (Levi x Eren Story)

Chapter 21.

{Please don't kill me, I know it's been a while... I'm sorry. I was definitely not side-tracked by other Fanfictions... Anyways, Thankyou so much for the 11K Views, it means so much. And I am truly sorry for not posting any time sooner, I try my best, but I have ran of ideas. So please bare with 😂🙏}

{Eren's POV}

-Mentions of Depression, and Suicide-

Is it bad? To want to commit things that only the psycho would plead guilty for?
I feel just so broken, like being torn apart by your own feelings and emotions.

Sometimes I see things, that I know aren't real. But it's what I see, and that's what it making me feel this way.
Whenever I see Levi, my fists clench, my body freezes yet my hands shake so I quickly turn away.

Why? Is a question you may ask.
Well it's because, instead of seeing the boy who cares, and loves me.
I see the opposite. I see the man who didn't care about me, and the man who never loved me, but used my love against my own.

I glance at the clock. 4:26PM.
It took Erwin, Hanji and Levi ages to find me.
I don't see how, I was only sat on a hill, but I guess that makes it worse, doesn't it. Depression.

It makes you feel, Alone.
Slowly Falling as your Self-Esteem drops to a low.
And that's how I feel. Like I'm Falling.

You are living a happy life, until a sudden crash happens, early on, making which, the land you live on, crumble.
But can still hold.
The world slowly crumbles into abyss and you slowly but surely, fall with the rocks.

Rocks hit against your body, as you crawl your way up to safety.
They repel you and make you want to fall even more, but you still determine to make it, yet you know for a fact.
You can't.

That's until the crumbling suddenly stops.
You feel free again. Like nothing could possibly go wrong.
Until a giant crash of a sudden boulder, throws you further.

The weight it suddenly too much for the land to handle, and so it falls, and away you go with it.
Like death.
But defeat death once, you cannot defeat it again.

That's the thing about depression.
Once you believe you make it.
Think again before you make your choice.
Or then when the right time comes. You slowly break out of your shell, and commit things. Bad things. Things that most possibly, end your life for good.

And that's why Psychos plead guilty for these crime.
They had just murdered a body...
Their own body.

—Triggering Warning—

I stare ahead of me into the mirror and see a figure.
That figure... is my own.
Levi is downstairs, along with Kenny and Kuchel.

Yes, I may have come clean, but right now... right now is the time.
I stare down between the Razor, and the pale scars that lay beneath my skin.

'Why does my life have to be like this?' I wonder.
I grab the set of blades and raise it towards my wrist before completing a quick cut.
I suddenly feel the relief going through my body and slice more.

I watch as the satisfying streaks of blood, pour from my body, into the sink and down the drain.
I look into the mirror and realise that I had been crying, and quickly wipe away the tears that were falling from my eyes.

I suddenly heard someone knock on the bathroom door.
It was Kenny.

"Hey, Eren? Are you in there?" He asked.
I was about to say something until silence suddenly caught my voice.
I wasn't able to speak.
Another knock.
"Eren? Are you okay?"

This time, I suddenly realised that blood was falling to the floor and I still hadn't cleaned up my cuts.
'Shit?!' I whisper shout, and was about to turn to the sink until I heard a sudden click of the door handle.

Kenny opened the door in a concerned tone.
"Eren? Kuchel said you were in here-"
Kenny suddenly stopped with his eyes wide and he quickly ran over to be and engulfed me in a hug.

"I-I'm so Sorry..." I cry and fall into his arms.
He wiped my tears and told me to shush.
"You don't need to feel guilty, I just want you to tell me, w-why you did this" He waved his hand to emphasise what I did without saying the words.

I took a deep breathe before saying my piece.
"Everywhere, I look. I see him.
He's everywhere I look, even when I see... when I see those I love. I sometimes I him... when..." I glanced away from his eyes as Kenny, is Levi's Dad.

"You can tell me Eren-" He smiles softly "-Pretend I'm your friend Eren, not Levi's dad. I don't care how embarrassing" He smiles a genuine smile even though tears fell down his face.

I look at him and wipe away the tears in his eyes.
"When Levi kisses me, or anything... like that, I fear, and instead of Levi doing that I see... my father..." I say quietly and Kenny pulls me into a hug and I cry into his shoulder.

"Shh, it's okay, You've been through a lot... But please, try to not do this again... the best way to help is to tell someone." He smiles and I smile genuinely back.

"Thankyou" I smile and he lets go of me and pulls me to my feet.
He washed my wrists and wrapped the bandages around them.

-Time Skip-

I was sat at the table across from Kenny and Kuchel and next to Levi.
I was enjoying my meal ,in warmth, as I managed to find a hoodie to hide my arms.
Until a hand rested on mine making me flinch, a lot.

The table shook at my sudden movement and everyone stared at me and Kenny gave me a sympathetic look.
"Are you alright?" Levi asked concerned.

I nod my head slightly "Y-Yeah I'm fine. I'm just going to go upstairs, I'll be in bed." I reply with a fake smile.
He pulls be in for a kiss which I comply but half way through I pull away and head upstairs and meet eyes with Kenny.

He nods.
I sit at my bed and wait for Kenny to arrive, which he does.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks as he runs up to my side.

"I can't get him out of my head..." I stutter and cry into his shoulder.
He rubs my back, comforting me until I finally fall asleep.

The last thing I saw before falling asleep was his face laying next to me.

{Hey Guys! I'm sorry it's been a while, hope I didn't keep you waiting.
But I hope it was a good chapter.
I think the last one will be Chapter 24 or 25.
I don't know.
But I have many ideas for future books, and All include Yaoi... sorry 😂

Vote if you liked this chapter!
~A ❤️}