Love Crimes (An Odd Future Story)

Screwed Pt. 2

   I stared at him in shock. Chance . . . falling . . . for me? I felt disgusted with myself. It has to be impossible to be so oblivious, yet I manage just achieve it every single time. I sat in silence as thoughts danced around in my head. I know its obvious that I'm clearly a flirt. . . but does this make me a whore? That's probably how everyone else sees me. I glance over and Chance is waiting for some sort of response but words just come out in short stutters. . . so I stop talking. That's the only action my brain got down right. I just started to say 'I'm sorry' over and over and over again. I began yelling it until he told me to calm down, but I couldn't. I was angry, with myself of course . . . this is my fault. I screamed for him to stop the car and I climbed out.

To much of my luck, it was pouring outside. I pulled my arms close and began to walk away as fast as my tired feet would let me. Of course he yelled behind me, I didn't listen. I just wanted to be out of everyone's hair. He drove his car beside me, pleading for me to get in, of course I kept refusing to do such. "Pandora Lynn Night, get your fucking ass in this car before you catch a damn cold!" His tone threw me off, I stopped and glanced at his face. He wasn't angry, he just really wanted me out of the rain. I got in the car and he quickly locked the doors. "You know you can't always run off when shit doesn't work out how you planned . . . that's how you ended up at my door . . . that's how it all started. You run from one problem and get caught up in another. Donald really cares about you, Mac really cares about you, Tyler really cares about you . . . I really really care about you." I stared down as he stressed his last words.

I guess I was always bad with dealing with anything that showed me I wasn't good enough. My inner perfectionist died years ago, now I just can't seem to stomach disappointing people. The therapist said it was due to everything that occurred between Owen and I, when things went sour. That I'm afraid to fail because I think I'll face the same fate again. He continued on his rant and I tried listening but that wasn't possible. "Chance, just take me home." He sighed deeply and sped up. The rest of the car ride was filled with silence, only the rain and the road beneath us supplied any sound.

   We arrived to my house and I quickly got out. I heard the car shut off and a door slam behind me. I stop in my tracks and turn around. Chance is coming up my driveway. "What are you doing Chano?" I lazily throw up my arms in mock despair. "I'm not leaving you alone tonight Pandora." I awkwardly glance away as I fold my arms. "I have Tate." He scoffs. "She's out of town with Syd and you know it." He was right, I really just wanted to be alone. Maybe it would not be the smartest thing. I was never great with stress. Maybe it could result in my, what? Fourth visit to the hospital? It could. Honestly I won't know unless I go inside. Chances will be dramatically smaller with Chance here. That's a good thing, but am I a good person to the people around me? I could run away to Aiden's, that'll only make this hole deeper. I guess this is the part of my life where I finally realize that I can't stop running from my problems, that I can't keep living like this. I'm standing in the rain at some early hour of the morning, how cliché. I don't even notice that I'm drenched until my bun falls onto my shoulder, guess it couldn't take it anymore.

I turn and head back towards my house until I notice Chance is in the same spot. "Just . . . come on." He nods and shuffles behind me. We stand inside and look around. "I-I-I'm sure you left some clothes here from last time." I stutter as I rush away from him and head upstairs. Opening a drawer close to my window, I remove his old shirt, a pair of boxers, and a pair of basketball shorts. I snatch towels from the hallway closet on my way back. "Here. Use Tate's shower, I'm sure she won't mind." I shrugged as I handed him everything. Speeding up to my room, I shut the door behind me and caught my breath which was racing for some reason. After my breath returned to normal, I collected my things and went to shower. I made it quick, I was already drenched. I stepped out and ran to my room to dress myself. I slipped on a oversized jersey, some black dance shorts, and knee-high white socks with blue stripes at the top. I realized I was really tired, it could be the emotional toll of today or just the plain fact that I haven't slept in over 20 hours. I quickly blow dry hair and trudge to my bed. Now the hard part, sleep.