the cracks that appear

inner beauty, outer disgust

Now that I think of you, it makes me realise on that day you took a bit of my heart to mind, the days we are apart, I'm reminded that this pain is something I should be used to at this point in my life. the feeling of missing something from my life these past couple of weeks has been so evident, it hurts, its a pain I cannot cure on my own.

Abby is a firm believer that beauty comes from the inside rather than from the outside. Sure Abby knows that some people are born with natural beauty, but in some way everyone has flaws. Abby looks in the mirror every morning and she knows she's far from being beautiful, the flaws she sees out weighs the flawless appearance she tries to show. Abby has a lot of creativity but it's not the normal type of creativity you'd usually see. Abby has a way of matching colours that shouldn't be matched together, but somehow they work for Abby. Abby's heart is in a good place most of the time but at other points cracks are firmly shown on her un-repairable being. Somewhere deep inside she hopes that someone special could come into her life and help her and protect her. What a lot of people can't see is Abby's need to be cared for in the right way, many see the fact that her make-up is crazy and pretty out there, that's a front so she can control who gets close and who doesn't, Abby is way too cautious when it comes to her friendships and whatever love life. Living in shadows like Abby has gives you as a person so much time to evaluate the people you've surrounded yourself with over a number of years of your life. The damage done is pretty terminal. Now as she looks at where she is at, she sees herself slowly repairing but there is many vulnerable parts to her, which her temper protects. At the minute, Abby has too be paitient and allow things to flow naturally, this kind of thing makes her nervous and anxious on the inside, but on the outside she has to pretend that it doesn't bother her. For beauty on the outside, its pretty obvious there is none of it, looking into the mirror she can see how people judge her, she doesn't really blame them. Abby comes across very self confident and self assured but really she hates too many watching her every move.

Hey guys, not exactly sure where this chapter came from, there's a thing in my life that's distracting me so much yet i have no control over its outcome