Flaws || A.I

Chapter nine

~Brielle~

Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do. I lay in bed and ask myself why I sleep around with people who I don't know and honestly don't care to know. I ask myself why I did this to me, not to them. Then I think of him and cry until I pass out and wake up screaming in a tangled mess of bed sheets. Then I just lay there in a puddle of tears and self pity and cry. So when I was laying there, wrapped in Luke's arms, both of us a sweaty, panting mess, I had this thought again, but in a different form.

I asked myself why I did this to Luke. He was a perfectly nice, good looking boy who was shy and awkward and liked me for me, not for how good I could make him feel. Why didn't I give him a chance? Was it because I was scared, because I didn't want to move on, or because I'd really turned into the soul sucking monster I'd pretended to be for all these years? I couldn't tell anymore. Sometimes I felt bad about what I did to Luke. But then I always reminded myself that he knew what he was getting into. He knew my flaws. I guess his was falling for someone who honestly didn't care about him. But was that true? Did I not care about him? Or was I just so wrapped up in a past relationship that I couldn't handle a new one?

"Brielle," Luke mumbled, pulling me out of my thoughts. I went to answer but realised he was asleep. I started to get lost in my thoughts again when he said my name a second time.

"Brielle," he mumbled again. Out of curiosity, I answered.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Brielle," he mumbled a third time, pulling me closer to him.

"What?" I asked, resting my chin on his chest.

"....beautiful....believe....slept with me...." Luke mumbled incoherently. He started lightly snoring again, so I rolled my eyes and tried to go to sleep.

* * * *

"You're so beautiful!" he shouted over the din of the crowd. Even in the shitty lighting there was no mistaking his beautiful smile. I blushed at his words and shouted back, "No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are Breebree," he said, pressing his forehead against mine and squeezing my hands gently. I rolled my eyes at the dumb nickname he had rechristened me with.

"I love you," he breathed. Even though we were at an All Time Low concert with people screaming all around us as Alex did his 'leg thing' on stage, I heard what he said crystal clear.

"I love you too," I whispered back. He smiled my favourite smile, the one that made my entire heart light up. I closed the distance between us and saved that night as one of the best ones with him.

I woke up screaming. Luke jumped up and wrapped his arms around me.

"What happened?" he asked in a panic. I just kept screaming. Suddenly Claire and Leia ran in.

"Brielle! What happened?" Leia asked.

"I don't know!" Luke called back. "I woke up because she started screaming."

"Brielle," Claire said calmly, taking my hands. "What happened? What's wrong?"

My screams turned to violent sobs and wails while I shook uncontrollably. Claire talked soothingly to me for a few minutes until I calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.

"Breebree," I choked out. "Breebree."

"Oh," Claire said. She sighed before pulling me in for a hug, even though she hates hugs. I cried harder, knowing that she knew. I didn't have to say anymore. She just knew.

"It's okay," she said soothingly. I cried a little harder at her words. It wasn't okay. I wasn't okay.

Claire passed me off to Luke and he held me while I cried.