bad habits and broken smiles

Chapter 8

He speeds down the highway "Matt we have school" I say "we have to go back, my parents, my house, my friends" he looks at me with a concerned look "they know who you are now, I can't risk it" he grabs my hand and I sigh. I reach in my pockets and feel a blade, I forgot that I had taken one, I run my finger over it and cut the tip. "Ouch" I say and pull my hand out, I look at the little dots of blood. Matt looks at me "Amy..." He says quietly "what happened?"

He doesn't know I have a blade, thank god. I grab a tissue from the glove compartment and tie it around it. I look around for something to blame, nothing. "I have no clue Matt" I say fake curiously. He looks at me and then at my finger "you are sure?" He says "positive!" I say smiling and planting a kiss on his cheek.

I watch him drive, he is so focused. Sometimes he bites his tongue, it's so cute. One thing he seems to do a lot is bite his lip, it is so hot. He turns to see me watching him and he smiles "can you go into the compartment and get me a smoke?" He says pulling out a lighter. "Yea sure" I say fumbling around the box "I can light it, you drive" he shrugs "okay."

I sit there and pull out a cigarette. I put it between my lips and flick the lighter on, it ignites and I hand it to him. He takes it and inhales, he lets out the smoke and looks ahead. "Wait, if you are such a good girl, how do you know how to light a smoke?" He says curiously taking in another puff.

"Well last year, I was pressured into smoking. I tried it once and kinda liked it, then I tried a few other times. Eventually I started smoking behind the school, not at the pit. I got hooked and then I quit. Simple" I say kind of cocky but embarrassed. "Your brother doesn't know?" He says "not a clue" I say confidently. He nods his head, and smiles. Suddenly my phone turns on, a text from my mother appears where are you? Xo it says. I sigh, Matt turns "what is it?"

I look at my phone again "my mom wants to know where I am" his smile fades into a frown "say you are with Elizabeth, my cousin. Ill tell her to skip school and play along, say you guys went on a road trip" Elizabeth was definitely the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She had long dirty blonde hair, tanned skin and green eyes. She had the body type of a VS angel and the kindest heart. I always admired her, in a way.

I slide over her text to unlock it, I enter my passcode and text her I went on a short notice camping trip with Elizabeth Espinosa! She invited me during the day and my phone was in my bag. I'll be home soon I love you! Xoxox I set the phone on my thigh, I hope she understands. I just love being with Matt but I hate lying to my own mother. "Why can't I just tell her?" I blurt out because of all the guilt. "If she knows she will contact 911, and then they will go after her." He says, he grabs my wrist and pulls it to his lips. He leaves a soft kiss on them and hovers his head over my arm, I feel his lips crush up against it. "what are you doing Matt?" i trying not to smile "I'm sorry I wasn't there all the times you need someone, Amy. I wish I knew, don't leave me okay?" he says looking down at me. I try not to let down any tears, i open my mouth but nothing comes out. He looks away and stays silent.

---------------------------------------------------------matt's pov----------------------------------------------------------------

Why didn't she promise me? Her eyes are watering, did I make her upset? Why didn't she just say two simple words? Is she really gonna go? I can't let that happen, she means too much to me. I watch her put her arm down and she shifts and leans on her window. I watch her carefully, while keeping my eyes in the road. She glances out at the houses we pass, she looks sad. I hope I didn't upset her.

I watch her eyes, I've always loved her eyes. They are grey and blue but sometimes when she wears a certain colour of clothing and makeup they turn blue with little grey parts in it. Other times they look green with grey. I find it stunning, but the one thing I hate about them is that they always look sad. Always like she wants to cry, sometimes you can see that because of the way her eyes glass over. It kills me to know more about her, and that it isn't the girl I thought she was.

I always thought she was happy, she always wore a smile and she would laugh and just seem happy. I mean why wouldn't she be happy, she's beautiful, has good grades, nice, great friends. It's terrible to know that was wrong. I wish she could be happy, I want to see her happy. I'll make her happy.

I shift in my seat "you can't promise me, but ill promise you something." She moves her head and looks at me, she lazily smiles at me "what is that?" She tired, I look at the road and quickly at her. "I promise you that I will make you happy, no matter how hard I have to try. I will make you happy." I lick my lips and turn back to the road, I don't expect her to reply. "Really now?" She says laughing a tad. "I swear, I pinky promise." I say pulling my left hand from the wheel and sticking out my pinky. Her smile fades "you are just gonna end up like the rest..."she looks away "and how is that" I say curiously.

"Failing" she looks away.