bad habits and broken smiles

Chapter 13

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*a few hours later*

~Matt~

She hasn't talked much since earlier, we made breakfast and she ate very quietly, occasionally looking out the window but never at me. I watched her a lot during that time, noticed that she plays with her fork a lot and swings her feet also. It's not much but it's something. I adore her as much as I ever have.

She pulls her hair up into a bun, and looks over at me. I try and look the other way but she catches me looking at her. "what?" She says flashing a little smile, "nothing" I say looking the other way. "How long have you been staring at me?" She says squinting her eyes at me. "Long enough to know you have egg yolk on your shirt" I say pointing down and she rolls her eyes "Are you fucking serious?" She says grabbing a napkin and wiping it.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH" I yell and she stops and looks at me "dab, don't rub" she rolls her eyes again and starts to dab. "Wow that actually worked" she says surprised. "Of course it did, I am always right" I said making a cocky face. She laughs and lets out a little snort, she covers her mouth and I laugh "don't worry it's cute" she mouths a little awe and tilts her head to the left side.

I stand up and pick her up marriage style. "What are you doing?" She says laughing, "just practicing for the future" I say through a toothless smile. She giggles cutely and very girly and plants a kiss on my cheek, "I don't even get a real kiss? I thought that was kiss worthy" she giggles and shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut and toothless smiling again. Her eyes are closed so quickly plant a kiss on her smiling lips.

"that's not fair!" She squeals and hits my chest. I smile and say "all is fair in love and war" and start spinning around "STOPPPPPPP" she squeals. And I laughs really REALLY loud. She hears it and laughs even harder snorting like CRAZY.

I look down at her and stare into her eyes adoringly. She gives me a soft kiss on the lips and draws back slowly staying close to my face and looks in my eyes. "Your lips taste like FruitLoops" I say going in for another kiss but her pushing my face away rolling her eyes. "Maybe that was yours because you had them too" she giggles "now put me down or ill cut you" she says switching to a serious tone.

"Yes Sir" I say pretending to drop her but catching her, "MATT" she yells and I put her to the ground softly "I fucking hate you" she says hitting my chest again. That actually hurt. She walks to the glass sliding door and opens it and steps out, shutting it behind her. She leans on the railing and looks out at the sea, she has a very sad but focused look on her face.

I wonder what she's thinking?

~Amy~

It's been 3 months since Mitch left me, Mitch is my ex boyfriend who is dated for almost 2 months but hours before our 2nd month he broke up with me. He was older than me and figured that's a good reason to leave. I knew why he left though, I had started cutting more and hearing more voices telling me stuff and I always came to him. He never seemed to really care but I though he might've but didn't know how to show it.

A month ago, his friend Erick told me that Mitch didn't like my body or my face or my personality really, he just liked the way I turned him on, plus I was his first girlfriend so he just wanted to say he had an ex. Or a girlfriend.

But for me, things were real. Emotions were real, sparks between us were real. But I guess they werent fireworks, more like a broken lighter. I left all my friends for him and he talked shit about them the whole time, then after leaving I was alone.

Thankfully they decided to forgive me but things werent the same with some of them, especially because most of them hung out with him too.

Apparently, he talks shit about me all the time, but none of them really stood up for me because ''they didn't wanna choose sides" which in their case meant "I pick him"

I hear the glass door behind me close shut and a soft voice "Amy?" I turn around and he has a curious look on his face "what's wrong?" I try not to look at him much "nothing, just thinking about something" he tries and kiss my cheek but I lean away. "Are you thinking about Mitch again?" He says, I can tell his cautious facial expression because of his cautious tone.

He continues to ask that question until it gets to the point it irritates me. "WHEN DO I NOT THINK ABOUT HIM!" I say throwing my arms in the air, yelling. "Woah woah baby calm down" he says touching my arm before I swipe my arm away "don't touch me" I say through my gritted teeth.

"How the FUCK am I supposed to know what you are thinking Amy?! All you fucking do is distance yourself from me!" He says walking a circle and running his hands through his hair. His frustration makes me lighten up. "Matt, Matt look at me" I coo. He whips his head toward me in a fast motion almost looking like it would hurt "what?" He says through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry I'm just....... Heartbroken"

His eyes soften as he looks at me "d-d-do you wanna talk about it?" He stutters and approaches me. I didn't know, but a tear ran slowly down my left cheek as he entwines his fingers in mine. He leads me somewhere, no questions asked and I just follow.

After like 5 minutes of walking we end up on this little rock ledge, he lets my hand go and climbs up. Oh he abandon me I think, then a rope ladder falls in front of me. I let out a little shriek and I hear Matt laugh "C'mon scaredy Cat" he teases. I roll my eyes and start to climb up the very unsafe ladder. Yea he might need to invest in something a bit..... Safer? The ladder swings and creaks as I climb up.

I finally reach the top and see Matt "here you go kiddo, saved you a seat" he says motioning to the swinging beanbag chair beside him. I look at it is it as "safe" as that ladder was? I could actually care less my feet are killing me, I walk to the seat and collapse in it. He grabs my hand "lets talk"

I swallow the lump in my throat and open my mouth.