One of us - Nichorello

4. Not alone

<Nicky's POV>

"Morning Vause," I entered our school building, already wanting to go home.

"Hey, Nichols. Kubra told us to meet him at the gym"

The first days at a new school were tough, we had to memorize all the names, check out our competition and find new clients to expand our trade circles. Today Kubra wanted to check out the cheerleaders, the ones we shouldn't talk to.

"Hello ladies," Caleb wrapped his arms around Vause and me.

"Get off Caleb," Vause pushed him aside. He was quite a playboy, trying to seduce almost every woman in our town. Five years ago when Vause and I came out to him, hoping that he would finally stop checking us out, he instead tried even harder. Luckily, he had never succeeded.

"Stop it, Caleb" Kubra stepped out of the dark, leading us to the tribune. The gym was huge, the red and white flags hanging from the ceilings were twice as big as those from our old school. At Walgrave, this school, the cheerleading team seemed to be the most popular group.

"Why exactly are we not supposed to talk to them?" Caleb always asked the most obvious and dumb questions.

Vause slapped him on the forehead: "Because they'll rat on us, dumbass!"

Kubra sighed: "Just memorize their faces and don't mention drugs or any of our business around them. Okay?"

I looked across the room at the half-clothed cheerleaders, catching Caleb practically drooling all over them.

"Caleb you know you can't make a move on them right?" I laughed at him, receiving a mad look from him.

"Eh, Nichols. Looks like you're going to have a hard time keeping your hands off of them too"

I turned around, looking at the slim person Vause was pointing at. The cropped top and short skirt, hugged her curves in the perfect places, making her seem even hotter. I knew even though she wasn't facing me, that that could only be Lorna. I heard Vause giggle next to me as she saw how devastated I looked. I wasn't allowed to talk to Lorna anymore. I felt the sadness making it's way to my heart, gripping it and tearing it apart.

I was about to cry when I recalled how I would have acted a few days earlier. Even though it was only a week ago, I had been acting like a completely new person. I was a badass not caring about others, totally disinterested in others feelings, thoughts or emotions. Today all I was thinking about was Lorna. I remembered how she was in a relationship with some jerk and felt the pain by only thinking about it. Eventually, this sadness turned into madness. The thing about madness is that when you're mad, you can't think. You don't think at all.

"Let's go out tonight," I said as if nothing had just happened.

"Oh... Old Nicky's back!" Vause and Caleb laughed in unison.

We were discussing our new plans for tonight as someone began shouting at us.

"Hey, you!"

We turned around, facing a bunch of cheerleaders, including Lorna. I could tell by the way she was staring at the ground that she had noticed me.

"What?" Caleb replied.

"Fuck off!"

"Wow you were right Nicky, cheerleaders really are bitches," Vause turned around to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

The group of cheerleader gasped, hearing those hurtful words. I usually would have laughed, knowing that Vause lied about me saying that for the good of our group. But seeing Lorna's hurt expression on her face, I wanted to scream that I never said those words. Especially since Lorna was one of them.

Although all I wanted to do was tell Lorna the truth, I kept my mouth shut.

"We know who you are and we need you to understand that this is our school and you better not try to come close to us," A short blonde stepped towards us, trying to appear intimidating. Unfortunately, a colorful short skirt won't make you seem very dangerous.

"Honey, we really have no interest in getting to know you. So believe me, we will be too, avoiding you at all cost" Vause said.

"Don't you 'honey' me!" A short one screamed.

"You know what I think? I think that you need to mind your business and get over your shit" Vause replied.

"Look at you all dressed in black, feeling like total gangsters. You think you're so popular but you're not. We are. "

Oh, that was definitely not a smart move. Vause was really sensitive about her clothes. And if you should know one thing about trash talk then that Vause was the master of it. Knowing that Vause would totally destroy them I began to chuckle. I couldn't help it, which apparently made Lorna really mad. She clenched her fists and stepped forward facing me directly.

"We are not looking for a problem. So why don't you just leave us alone. " Lorna said, emphasising the we.

WE are not looking for a problem. So what? We are? Her accusation hit me like steel fists, hurting me in a way I thought nobody could. I wasn't able to think clearly, blinded by my rage over her words, that had hurt me in a way I shouldn't be able to be hurt. My mind was out of control, the thoughts swirling inside my brain, forming knots in my stomach, making me feel nauseous. Deep inside I knew that I wasn't mad at her for being such a bitch; I was mad at myself for falling for someone this self- absorbed. Although I really cared about the girl that was standing right in front of me, I was blinded by all this rage, causing me to say the most truthful words.

"I know that your entire world view is based on picture books, but still try to get this in your little brain. You're not looking for a problem. You ARE the problem! Nobody likes you." I was staring into Lorna's eyes, frustrated and mad.

I saw her facial expression completely drop, she winced with every word I spoke, she lowered her face even further with every second I continued to speak out the truth about their popularity; how fake it was. As I had finished, I could tell that Lorna was devastated, because, on the inside, she had already known the truth all along. I turned around, frustrated by how I got into all this ridiculous drama.

I headed to the restrooms, splashing water on my skin to cool off. I was hoping to feel satisfied and relieved by finally expressing my thoughts freely, putting those bitches in their place.

"Wow... I've never seen you this mad," Vause was surprisingly shocked too.

I shrugged with my shoulders; having no clue how to respond.

"I didn't know you had it in you"

"Bitches got to learn," I smirked, hoping that Vause wouldn't notice my regret. Eventually, she left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I had dreamt of this moment so often, telling these arrogant people what the world really thought about them. Every time I had thought I would feel lighter, happier and more satisfied; but the truth was; I felt horrible. My headache had become stronger, my stomach was constricting, I couldn't breathe properly anymore. It felt like weights were burying me down, forcing me on the ground for all the devastation I had caused. It wasn't the actual words that were causing me this regret, it was Lorna's innocence that had made her the victim and me the asshole. The devastation, the pain, and sadness in her brown eyes as they turned a few shades darker had shown me that I had destroyed something in her.

The silence was broken by a sob; I turned around, realizing that I wasn't alone.