One of us - Nichorello

37. Ocean

<Lorna's POV>

Love. Desire. Admiration. Nicky...Come on, brain! You can think of something else. Somebody else.

I was currently sitting at my desk, staring at my empty sheet of paper. Behind me was a pile of crumpled papers. My numerous attempts to create a piece of art Mr.Healy would enjoy. Since I had been bailing school for a long period of time, I had to hand in my homework and other assignments on time, to avoid any additional trouble.

My first instinct when writing about love was Nicky. Actually, it was also my second. And third. You get it. But I forbid myself to write about her. She left me and I have to draw a line between the past and the present.

Frustrated by my failing attempt to do my homework, I let myself fall onto the bed. It still smelled like Nicky, her scent was still enclosing me every time I went to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, the smell of the ocean wouldn't leave me. I had never really figured out my she reminded me of the ocean. Maybe it was her calmness or the depth of her personality. Maybe it was the waves she reminded me of. And suddenly, I had an idea.

------------------

I just finished my text, which I would have to present on Monday. Luckily, Nicky would never hear this, because it is about her. Just like all my thoughts. She knew that she reminded me of the ocean. I had once told her.

<flashback>

"You look so beautiful in the morning" Nicky whispered as she was combing my hair with her fingers. Staring at me with her hazelnut eyes.

I blushed uncontrollably, which caused her to smirk. Soon I felt her lips meeting my jawline as she kissed her way to my mouth. I smiled as her lips met my cheek, caressing my skin. Her kisses were never rushed or rough, well at least not in the mornings. Instead it felt like her kisses were silent promises to me, whispering how much I truly mean to her. 

"You remind me of the ocean," I muttered before I had realized what I was saying.

"What?" she said, her brows furrowed. Nicky stopped kissing me but was now staring at me with a confused, yet intrigued and amused expression.

"Nothing," I said.

"Oh, nothing?" she nodded sarcastically while straddling me. "Reee-ally? 'Cause I think you just admitted that I remind you of the ocean."

"The waves, the color, the sound, just everything"

"Please don't say that you almost drowned as a kid"

I grinned at her response.

<flashback ends>

"Honey, somebody is here for you," my mother called from downstairs.

I rushed down, eager to get away from my homework. Unfortunately, I wasn't grateful for the visitor.

"Christopher? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to get you back," he said. Smiling at me with the smile I once fell in love with. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah.. sure" I hesitated a moment, afraid of his actions. What was he thinking?

We sat on the sofa, keeping a safe distance between us. He was biting his lip, probably thinking about what to say.

"You know, I came here, talking to myself the entire way. I had even prepared a speech. But as soon as I saw you, I forgot every single one of my ideas and Lorna I want it that way. You never told me why you broke up with me, but I miss you. In fact, I miss you a lot. So please, let me  try again. Please..."

He is crazy as if I would just fall back into his arms, begging for him to take me back. I still had some pride or dignity.

"Christopher, I'm sorry, but I fell in love with someone else and I just don't love you anymore."

"It's Nicky, isn't it?" he scoffed, furrowing his brows. Afraid that he would attack me again, I scooted away until my back met the wall.

"Are you still in love with her?" he said.

"No," I lied. It was none of his business, how I felt towards Nicky.

"Do you love me?"

"No"

"I don't love you either. And it's good that way, we can start over again. You know that Nicky never loved you and she never will. For God's sake, she just left without saying a word and who knows if she'll ever come back. So give us a try," he said while laying his hand on my thigh.

I sighed. He was right. I wasn't sure whether Nicky was coming back. I had no clue where Nicky was right now, or what she was doing. If she had ever loved me, I would be able to answer all those questions. But I couldn't. Christopher would be a good distraction, he made me smile. At least sometimes.

"Alright," I gave in.

The smile across his face told me that he actually had meant his words. He scooted closer to me, closing the gap between us, his hand found it's way to my cheek as he leaned down, causing our lips to touch. The roughness of his lips was so unfamiliar, but I didn't move. Instead, I imagined it was Nicky, her soft lips meeting mine.

His deep moan pulled me back into reality. How had I got myself into this again? I am so dumb. If Nicky only knew what I was doing. No. He was right. I should forget about Nicky. Just forget about her.