One of us - Nichorello

16. Secret

<Nicky's POV>

Ugghhhh. I want to scream, I want to destroy something, punch the wall until I feel the concrete crackling beneath my fist. Logically that wouldn't happen since physical strength wasn't one of my strong suits. But if I was able to do this, today would totally be the right day.

I was tangled in my bed sheets, staring at the white monotone ceiling, wondering how I got into all of this mess. Normally, I would get up quickly, exiting the house in a rush, to escape the horrible memories and the loneliness it contained. Today was different. Today, I would stay here, in my bed, without getting up, without thinking about this stupid Christmas dance. Today, I wouldn't do anything.

With my intention set for the day, I turned my pillow around, the coolness of the pillow feeling refreshing on my warm skin. I sighed, already annoyed by this day. Laziness didn't belong to my character traits, although most people thought I was lazy. But there is a huge difference between calmness and laziness. I glanced over to my wardrobe, my eyes focussing  the shoebox, which said Nike on it. Like always the shoebox would start talking to me, wrapping the wrong ideas around my mind: Nicky, we're here for you. We won't let you down. Trust us. Lorna won't go to the dance with you, she doesn't love you. But we do. The drugs said.

I rubbed my eyes and turned my head, facing the wall, hoping that the voices would stop. Tomorrow, I was going to throw it all away, the entire shoebox with its content, give it to some customer or to Boo. Before I could close my eyes again, I heard the doorbell ring.

"Ughh" I yelled to myself.

I stayed in my bed, refusing to answer the door. It was probably only some postman anyway. He would leave eventually. DING DONG. There it was again. DING DONG. Fuckkkk, that could only be one of my annoying friends, probably Vause. I walked down the stairs, the anger rising with each step I took.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I yelled at Vause, who was dragging a suitcase behind her.

Ignoring my question, she pushed me aside and stepped through the door, quickly making herself comfortable in my living room. This behavior was so typical Vause.

"Vause! What the fuck?"

She still didn't take notice of me.

"Alex!" she turned her head, finally paying attention to me "What are you doing here?"

"I just came by to watch something, am I interrupting something?" she said, clearly disinterested in my opinion.

"I just woke up"

She quickly scanned my outfit:"Yeah, I can see that."

I walked over to the kitchen, making me a coffee, hoping that it would wake me up a little. I knew exactly what Vause was doing here. She will talk me into going to that stupid dance tonight, but there is no way she is going to change my mind.

Her feet were propped up on the table, her head resting on a soft pillow, letting her appear innocent and calm. Her aloofness and hypocrisy annoyed me.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, for the next three hours," she said, her eyes still glued to the television screen.

"What do you want later?"

"We will make you ready for the dance"

"I already told you, I'm not going"

"That's too bad, I already called Flaritza." she raised her hands in innocence while chuckling.

"There's no freakin' way I'm going. Just cancel all of it."

"We'll see about that"

---------------

18:00, the dance was starting in half an hour and I was still sitting on the couch, stuffing my face with Cheetos while smoking. Vause's plan had failed since she had stopped arguing with me and was now talking to Kubra on the phone.

RING RING

Incoming call from Lorna Morello my display said. Although I was still mad at her, I couldn't resist the urge to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, it's Lorna."

"Huh?"

"Morello"

"Oh, it's you," I said, pretending that I didn't recognize her chantlike voice.

"Piper and I just arrived at the dance, we were hoping that you and Alex would come too." Her high voice, which I had grown attached to, almost made me give in. But this morning, I gave myself a promise.

"Nah, sorry. We're staying at my house. You two have fun with Christopher and Caleb."

"Uhm-" she hesitated "Caleb bailed on Piper."

"Oh!" I tried to stay calm on the phone while turning around, giving Vause, who was grinning devilishly, an angry look.

"I'm sorry, I really have to go now. Bye" I said, hanging up.

"What the fuck Vause? How -" Before I could continue yelling at her the doorbell rang, allowing her to escape this discussion.

A few seconds later, Logan, Caleb, Flaca and Maritza stepped into the living room. I was speechless, how could Vause do this to me? Honestly, I should have seen this coming, Vause was so stubborn.

Caleb and Logan were both wearing matching suits, giving them an even more serious, intimidating touch. Flaca and Maritza were customers who in the meantime had become friends. They pushed me onto the couch, setting a huge suitcase, filled with make-up in front of me.

"No! Vause, I'm so getting back at you for this!" I yelled, determined to make her life hell.

"Nicky, you have three options. One" She raised a finger "you come to the dance with us, without any further explanation. Two: you come to the dance with us, after we explain everything. Three: you refuse to come with us, but we will still drag you down there." She kneeled in front of me. I knew that she had planned this for days. "Look, Caleb bailed on Piper, just for you. Flaritza came here, just for you. I am going to the fuckin' dance even though I don't want to, because of you okay? So would you please just come with us?"

"No. Caleb, you can go to the dance without me, I don't care. Vause you can just stay here with me and Flaritza just spend the night here, then your trip was worth it."

"Nicky, I get it. This dance sucks, I really get all of it. But look at her," she gave me a phone, showing me a picture of Lorna in a white short dress in front of our school. All of the madness turned into air, now filling with admiration. How could a human being be this beautiful?

I have to admit, that was a clever move of Vause. Logan cleared his throat, making me realize that I had been staring at this picture suspiciously long. Looking at all of my friends, I knew that I couldn't admit that I would go to the dance just because of Lorna. It would ruin my image, my reputation.

"Oh, and by the way, Kubra said we're all going. So you don't have a choice" Vause added, her eyes filled with joy.

"Fine," I muttered, trying to sound annoyed and disappointed.

---------

The school was decorated nicely as we walked towards it, the music already noticeable in the parking lot. Vause and I were walking behind the others as I leaned towards her:

"Thanks."

"For what?" she asked innocently, forcing me to thank her properly.

"For saying that with Kubra. I don't want the others to know about Lorna"

"Your secret is safe with me," she smiled, putting an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to her.