Summer After High School

15

Paige

I glance at the mirror, wishing Kyle saw me this way yesterday instead of seeing me in a wet dress.

Wait, Hold on. You're not thinking that I like Kyle or something like that, right? C'mon! It's totally normal for a teenage girl to be concerned about her appearance in the presence of tall, cute, charming teenage guys who work out. There's noting special there. it's totally normal.

When I head downstairs, mum and Phoebe are in the living room. I'll admit that, I'm surprised to find her home this afternoon. I don't even understand her work schedule anymore. She seems to be home when she ought to be on duty.

"Mum was your schedule changed or something? " I ask.

"Well. it's nice to see you around more often too."

"Awwwn. C'mon mum. You know I love seeing you around. I'm just worried that you are away when you're supposed to be on duty. "

"Paige, there was a slight change in my work schedule but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Oh so you're gonna be home more often? What times are you on duty? "

A smile paints her face but she doesn't answer me.

"Come here. Come tell me about your date two nights ago. We never really had a chance to talk about it."

I don't even want to talk about that night with her but I don't want to give her a room to know that things are not okay with us because if I do, she'll start to worry and I don't want her to worry.  When she worries, she gets really stressed and inquisitive. I don't want that.

"It was fine mum. Mum, I've really got to go. I have to return this jacket back to a friend. "

"That's Kyle's right? "

Immediately the question leave Phoebe's mouth, I want to stuff a pillow in her mouth.

"Kyle? Why do you have Kyle's jacket ?Is there something you're not telling me. Did you and Brian break up?  Is everything okay with you? "

Geez! See what I was avoiding. I think it's now pretty clear where Phoebe got her inquisitive nature from.

Phoebe burst into laughter when she sees the look on my face.

"Mum. Mum. Calm down. It is completely normal for girls with boyfriends to be in possession of other guys jackets. I was just cold and he offered me his jacket. Things are okay with Brian. Nothing's wrong okay? "

From the look on her face, I can tell that she's not buying it. Why would she even think something was going on with Kyle just because I have his jacket?

"Oh Paige. I was just teasing. It's just that you girls don't tell me anything anymore. You're growing up and keeping secrets from your mom."

Phew! She was just teasing.

Talking about secrets, that phone call conversation I overheard dad having ..

Stop Paige, don't think of it.

"You're not always around for us to tell you stuffs, " I say calmly.

Mum's eyes widen before speaking, "Yeah. That's true but that's because I have to work. I have to work to give you two a better life. My absence is due to my love for you girls. Your dad's absence is due to his love for us. "

"Yeah. I'm sure the reason he keeps shifting his return home is because he's working so hard for us. Yippee!"

If mum senses my sarcasm, she doesn't show it.

"Yeah. I know you guys are tired of your dad shifting his return date but believe me he won't shift it, if the reason was not urgent. He will return today, he says he's returning with a surprise. "

How can she be calm when he keeps his shifting his return date? She prepared a special meal for him yesterday and he never showed up! Why Is she making up excuses for him?

"Paige. The fact that we're physically apart most times doesn't mean  we should pretend that, we're still physically apart in the few moments we get to be physically around each other. "

I watch Phoebe watch us without uttering a word.

"I understand mum. We'll get our chance to bond, I just don't think now's the moment."

I love that she smiles in response to my words, I hate that I'll have to keep secrets from her
•••••••

As I head for the beach, Brian starts to call. He's been calling since that night, I haven't responded to him. I am struggling to build walls to push him out.

"Baby, I miss you, " he says, when I pick up the phone.

Just that, just the sound of his voice breaks down the walls I've been struggling to build. I allow myself to listen to his long speech and explanations and I find myself agreeing to give him another chance to make things right.

It's probably hard for you to resist judging me now but please don't.

I need to know if there's still a possibility for the love we have to blossom. I want to give us a chance one more time, one last time.
If I don't do this, I would never know if there was still a possibility for our love to grow. I'll always wonder but I would never know. I'll keep on asking myself what if I had a given him one last chance, would our love have blossomed? But if I try, I'll know the answer to that.

This is just something that I've decided to do at my own risk. I just need to know if our love still has a chance in the universe.

"Thanks Paige. Let's meet up at my house tomorrow okay? I promise to make it worth it. I promise to never let you down again. I swear baby, I swear that I'll never hurt you again. "

"You'd better not because this is your last chance to make things right between us. I promise. "

There is a silent pause at the other end of the phone for a few seconds then he finally speaks, " It's crystal clear to me baby girl. I promise I won't ruin things again. Thanks alot. I love you. Thanks for giving me one more chance. "

"Brian. This is your final chance. I won't continue being with you if you keep hurting me. I deserve more than that kind of love. "

"I know baby girl. I know and I promise to finally give you the kind of love you deserve. Your forgiveness has made the luckiest guy alive."

"Thanks. I love you. See you tomorrow. "

After I read his message with Daphne. I cried alot. It didn't hurt as much as it did when I first found out he was cheating but still it hurt.

Right now, I'm sincerely hoping he won't put me through that kind of pain again.