Gorillaz And Me (Pt 2)

Chapter 10

It was dark once we got home, and it began snowing too...

We didn't just stop at the toy shop...Mum and I spent the whole day shopping. For what? I wasn't sure...and every so now and then she'd take me to a pub just to use the loo every so often.

She was using it a lot today...part of me thought she was still sick. But I didn't ask about it...i didn't want to make her feel worse.

When we finally got inside mum set down her bags and went straight for the fridge to get herself a glass of wine. She seemed...upset for some reason.

"Mummy...can i have some hot chocolate please?"
Mum already looked tired and drunk...even if I haven't seen her drink at all day.
It worried me.
I sat my box by the door and walked towards her.
Mum sniffled a bit more as she looked at me, not responding.
"I could make you some if you want...You look really poorly..."

She slowly takes a sip of wine and sat her glass down slowly.

"Why?"
She sighed and let out a half chuckle.
"Why are you always like this?"
I reached over to grab her hand but she pulled it away.
"I do so much for you and...you go treat me like this. Why?"

"Like what Mummy? What's wrong?"

She looked at me with small pupils, her eyes red and swollen as if she had been crying...she was crying.

"You! You're wrong!"
Her voice rose as she looked at me...she seemed angry. But why? What did I do this time?
"You remind me so much of him...both of them! You look one way and act another, it's fffffuckin' with my head!"

I backed away from her a bit shocked at how quickly her voice rose...she seemed really upset. I wanted to help her but she kept going on a bout nonsense. Something about Shapes and a bastard bass player. I couldn't make since of it.

"Mum please, I-I don't know what you're going on about. What happened? Please tell me. What did i do wrong?"

"Shut up! You know exactly what you're doing wrong! Looking like you do now and acting with such...innocence. I know you're burning with rage.
I admit it! You hate me for what I did to you. You don't have to remind me every second Sia! I know you know but-"

"Mum..."
I squeaked as I held back my tears. She called me Sia too...why was she? Why did she call me that?
"Mum please you're making no sense...its-"

"Its what Sia!? I'm what!? If you don't like it you can just LEAVE!"
I jumped as she yelled at me...i hated the way she would always get like this towards the end of the day.
The sound of glass cracking and breaking could be heard...
As I looked over at mums hand she had squeezed the glass she was holding, causing her hand to bleed as a few shards stuck out of her hand.

She didn't even seem to notice or look at it...she held a heavy face of disappointment.
I began to cry...feeling that burning lump in my throat as tears went down my face.
She lost her angry expression and gave a worried frown.
I gripped the bottom of my shirt tightly in frustration as I bit my lip.
"Sirus...no- I didn't mean to- I-"

I didn't want her to finish...i quickly made my way to my room. Slamming the door behind me, throwing myself under the duvet as I sobbed quietly...
What felt like hours of crying I heard a soft knock on my door.

"I-I set out some biscuits on the counter, in case you wanted a snack...i'm gonna go to bed. I'm sorry for shouting at you."
She spoke softly behind the door.
"I love you..."

"Yew don't..."
I mumbled at her through the door...she opened the door a bit with her good hand.

"What?"

Covering my face with one of my pillows I repeated what I said.

"You don't love me..."

"What? No...Sweetheart, no. I do love yew...i love you a lot."
She sat on the edge of my bed, rubbing my shoulder gently.
"It's just that...mummy gets mad a lot."

I peaked from where I was and sniffled looking at her a bit as tears streaked down my face.

"Yew get mad at me a lot..."

"Come here Doll, come here."
She spoke softly as she attempted to lift me up with both hands, her left one being bandaged and somewhat stained in blood.
I lifted up so she could hold me.
As I leaned on her she stroked my hair back with her fingers.
"I don't get mad at you...i just get mad at the world...there's a lot of things I worry about and... it makes me worry. I never mean to take it out on you lov...i'm just stressed."

"I worry about you..."
I replied as I sniffled, feeling her stroke my hair.

"I know you do lov...but don't okay. You've got your whole life ahead of you...you should focus on that instead of me okay..."
She pulled me onto her lap as she held me.
"It's my job to worry for the both of us okay. I'll be just fine."

I let out a whimpering sigh as I was being held...it felt nice being close to her.
Taking my hand she began rubbing it softly.
"Remember when I use to do that to you to get you to sleep?"

I gave her a nod as I watched her graze her thumb across the palm of my hand softly.

"You use to sing to me songs all the time too..."

I replied as she let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah,you really loved music. You still do. I guess you get that from me."

"How come I never hear you sing or play guitar anymore?"

She sighed.

"Well it's been hard, ever since that little accident you had and the move to Halstead, I've been on my toes. Earning money and keeping your little self out of trouble."
She tickled me a little as she said that which made me laugh a bit.

"Aww come on, im not that bad~"
I smirked...knowing full well how much trouble I could get into even without trying.

"You were four and you had broken your arm."
She laughed
"And by 5 you got yourself stuck up a tree and had to get stitches...and let's not forget about you last day of primary."

I laughed remembering those times...though not so much of how I broke my arm.

"Hey, it was raining and I slipped...its not like I meant to knock down all of those first year's."
We both laughed remembering the times I slipped up. It made me feel loads better.

"I don't know where you get your clumsiness from kid but it's fun to watch."
She laughed a bit as she pokes my tickle spots causing me to squirm around and laugh more.

I enjoyed it when mum was around me like this.
It always made me happy to see her happy.

Once things settled down she kissed me on the head again and stood up.
"I love you kiddo. And don't you ever forget that okay."

I smiled back at her getting sleepy.

"I love you too Mum... Always."

"Get some sleep alright..."
She gave me one last look before closing the door and leaving me alone for the night.