Standing in the rain

She continues

They sat next to each other on the sofa in companionable  silence for a few minutes and sipped tea.
I love this Jac thought. I've never had anything like this before.
"Eventually after a custody battle that Jonny eventually dropped and after his wife to be was killed on their wedding day - which apparently was somehow my fault- we came to an amicable agreement and now we're actually civil with each other. Most of the time. So it was just me, Emma and work .
Jasmine kinda changed that and Fran all that shit with Guy Self. If you think i'm evil take a look at him "
"I don't think you're evil" Fletch interjected. He placed his hand gently on her knee. Her hand went on top of his
"You saw how I was before the shooting" she continued "I was a mess and that's why I decided to leave - to focus on Emma. Really give her the childhood that I never had. I really was going to tell you about leaving you know. Did you ever get the text saying I needed to talk to you? I sent it just before...."
" I didn't receive it Jac. The reception down there is rubbish and then in the aftermath I'm sure re sending it wasn't top of your agenda"
"Oh well. I was on my way to give Hansen my letter of resignation when I saw Raf and asked him if he would pass it on. I was worried that Henrik would persuade me to stay so I was relieved to be able to get someone else to do it. I hate myself every day for that Fletch. If I hadn't asked Raf to deliver that letter he wouldn't have been in that lift I feel like I killed him" her voice was shaky
"Oh Jac it's not your fault. Even if he was in the lift on his way to see Hansen. The only person responsible for his death was Fredrick" Fletch moved his hand slightly so their fingers entwined. He just wanted her to know he was there for her, that he understood, that he cared.
Jac was aware that she and Fletch were essentially holding hands. She didn't pull away, she didn't comment.
"After the shooting, well you know better than anyone that I was lucky to be alive but I was a horrible patient. You were the only one to put up with me."
"I know. I'm fearless" he chuckled
"You wanted to know why I stayed. Initially I stayed because I was too weak to do anything else. Physically and mentally. Then I convinced myself that the ward, the hospital needed me. Raf was gone, Ollie was brain injured . Everyone was broken. I even convinced myself that you needed me" she laughed softly
"Who says I didn't?"