WAKE UP [KomaHina]

Eradicating My Worries

H A J I M E

I twirled my finger around the plain pencil I borrowed from Sonia. Learning about the history of America wasn't all that fun when everyone was having their own conversations. The amount of times the teacher hissed for everyone to zip it was in double digits but that of course, didn't shut them up.

I peered over to the empty seat next to me several times, feeling lonely. I was used to Nagito getting in my business but it had been a whole week since I last saw him. Well, he probably caught a cold and you know what they say about colds?
Only idiots catch them, of course.

"I heard that Kazuichi transferred overseas, didn't even say goodbye the asshole" I overheard a couple of boys complain amongst themselves.
I know the feeling, he didn't even say anything to me either. He just up and left me. Which surprises me since he was so smitten with Sonia I thought he would of at least told her- but no.
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After class was over I decided to make my way to our home room. Pushing my way past the swarming students, I hesitantly opened the door to see our form tutor scribbling on a sticky note and placing it on her laptop. Her eyes were beaming with the sort of vibe you get from a workaholic.
"Um..excuse me?" I lightly tapped on the door and made my way to her desk.
"Oh, Hajime. What do you need?" She broke off from the scribbling and focused her attention on me.
"I...I was wondering if you knew why Kazuichi transferred?"
She looked at me for a moment, a slight smile prominent. Clinking her glasses, she finally broke eye contact and looked down.
"I do know..and I wish I could tell you. But I cannot divulge such information to a student" she replied.
I tried to think of what to say to her back but all that would come out was little stutters. I thought for a moment, allowing myself to regain composure.
"Then...I-is Nagito..is he ill or something?" I choked without even realising. Instantly regretting what I said, I anxiously bit my lip until I felt pain eradicate.
I..I'm not worried about him, okay?

"Ah- you mean Komaeda? Well. His absence hasn't been marked as being ill. No one rang in for him" 
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Of course no one would ring in for him, he lives alone. Perhaps he hasn't told them? I mean Nagito is a quirky guy. He does have a few screws loose.

Who cares anyway.
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K O M A E D A

Smile. Smile. Smile.

When all is hopeless, smile.
Right?
Geez, I don't know! How am I supposed to be able to think straight?

I looked over my bed, the mess only making me more agitated. I feel like I'm constantly worrying over Hinata and the whole project too much. I'm becoming listless and damn right frustrated with myself. The only words that are replaying in my head are the callous ones of the Future Foundation.

"Kill Kamukura"

Yes, I can kill him. But then what? Take his whole life away from him because of what his future self dictates? He was just an ordinary guy. Nothing special to make him...an Ultimate.

That's what is special about Hinata. That he is plain and boring in himself. He has nothing to use against anyone. Did I ever really love Hinata? Or was the feeling of being above someone getting over my head? Perhaps being surrounded by people like Sonia..or Akane..or even Peko made me feel useless. Hopeless.

Did I ever do anything for the sake of hope? Or for the sake of being equal to my peers?

The feeling of being choked from the pressure only reminds me of my dead dog. No pain, nor pleasure..
Or guilt.

Was I ever guilty of hurting people?
Was I ever guilt of hurting Hinata?
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Maybe I should of never existed..
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"Nagito! Open up damn it!" A slamming of the door caused me to snap out of my own thoughts and focus on who was at the door.
I steadily made my way, not bothering to peer through the peephole...

I'm someone of surprises.

"H-Hinata...?" I felt my throat dryly squeak like a pitiful mouse. Hinata looked back at me, a furrow in his brow causing me to scratch my arm in a pool of anxiety,
Or my sweat.

"Man, here I was excited that I could your body on the floor" Hinata allowed himself in and lightly punched me in the arm.
"Um..I'm sorry?" I confusingly closed the door and stood with my back away from him for a moment.