On The Run: Original Work From The Tumblr Author

Chapter Thirty-Three

Lisedi

A Few Days Later

Nothing feels the same anymore. The house is quieter. Nobody really says much. There's small side conversations. Me and Gissy talked here and there. She's been busy consoling Chubbs most times and same for me with Aubrey.

Aubrey's been distant. He's trying not to be, but he can't help it. There are moments where he's just staring at the ceiling, moments where he's cuddled under me, trying his hardest not to cry, and there's moments where he's smoking his feelings away. Like now.

"Are you okay?" I sat at the foot of the sunchair he was sitting on.

He released smoke from his nostrils, "I'm good," he didn't look at me.

"Are you sure? You don't wanna come upstairs?"

"In a minute. I don't want our room smelling like this," he stared up at the sky.

I nodded, "Okay."

It honestly bothered me how distant he was. But what could I do? He was grieving in his own way.

I watched him as he put the blunt to his mouth, "I'll be upstairs, okay?"

"Alright," I could hear him holding the smoke in his lungs.

I stared as he released the smoke in the air slowly after. I got up, walking back inside. This was enough to make me cry myself. A loved one was gone. My boyfriend changed automatically, and I'm hoping it's temporary. I was away in Colombia for illegal reasons. I can't step foot out of this house without worrying about my safety, and more importantly my boyfriend's safety. And I missed having a normal life.

Gissy approached me as I was walking toward the stairs, "How is he?" She was concerned.

"He's... distant. But he'll be okay. What about Chubbs?" I glanced at Chubbs who was sitting on the couch. He was scrolling through his phone with a blank stare.

"He's okay. Staying strong for sure. He hasn't cried in the past few days. At least not in front of me."

"Gis?" I heard Chubbs voice.

We both turned our faces towards him.

"Yes, babe?" Her tone was soft.

"When you're done talking, can I show you something?"

"Yes, of course," Gisela looked back at me, "I'm gonna go okay?"

"Yea," I smiled softly and politely to my sister before walking my way upstairs.

I laid down in me and Aubrey's bed, and thought to myself. I knew something like this was possible considering the things we are involved in, but I hoped we were lucky enough for it not to. I thought I'd be the one to get shot. Or Aubrey. Or even my sister. But I didn't expect it to be Hush, and that's what scares me the most. The second me and him develop a friendship, he's gone.

Aubrey came up shortly. A very spacey look in his eyes. He took his shirt off before crawling into the bed, next to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist, kissing my cheek.

I looked at him to see what I could find in him. All I found was pain.

Aubrey's lips kissed down my neck before sucking lightly. His fingers rubbed between my legs gently.

I wanted to moan. I wanted to enjoy it. But I couldn't. This isn't what he wanted.

"You don't want this, Aubrey," I looked at him, pulling my neck away slightly.

"What are you talking about?" He tried to aim for my neck again but I moved back a little more.

"If you're hurt then be hurt. But don't try to suppress it with sex," I looked him in his eyes, "It won't get you anywhere."