He's American (Trames au)

Chapter 9- Tristan's POV

James doesn't say anything as I begin to tell him the whole story. "I was having a fight with my boyfriend, I don't know where it came from but it just exploded. It happens quite a lot." James has no idea that I'm gay, and thankfully he barely bats an eyelid when I mention my boyfriend. I'm glad, as I don't want another fight.

"How much is quite a lot?" he asks.

"A couple of times a month maybe." I say. "I kind of want to just dump him but I'm not brave enough."

"Why not?" James asks sympathetically. "At least you wouldn't have to see him again."

I sigh. "I know. It just feels like giving in. I guess there's a part of me that thinks that it's my fault and I should be able to fix it."

"It's not your fault if someone is horrible to you." James says gently, putting an arm around my shoulders. "No one deserves that."

I don't know what to say to that, as Adam has destroyed me so much that I have almost zero self esteem. I don't take James that seriously anyway. Thankfully, the tension is broken when he takes a sip of his wine and almost immediately pulls a slightly disgusted face. Despite my sadness, I can't stop myself from laughing. "You good there?" I ask.

He smiles. "Yeah, I'm just not used to wine. I've only been legally allowed to drink for a couple of years, so..."

"That's so weird." I say. "So you can get married and join the army at 18 but you can't buy alcohol?" I would be in trouble if I couldn't have alcohol, I rely on it way too much to take my problems away.

"I think it's weird too." James agrees. "I mean, I love my home, but so much weird shit goes on there."

I'm quite glad we're off the topic of my horrible boyfriend, and hearing James' bright voice talking about his home is actually cheering me up a bit. "Can I ask you a really stupid question?" I ask.

"It might not be stupid." he says. "So go ahead."

"Do you have a gun?" It's something I've been secretly desperate to ask. 

This time, it's James' turn to laugh at me. "Sorry, that was funny." he says when I look at him a bit weirdly. "But to answer your question, no I don't. I know a couple of people who do, but I don't personally. I think they're awful things."

I laugh. "Sorry. I know it was a stupid question. I was just curious, and I've never really known an American well enough to ask before."

James smiles. "Well, you've got me now. I am an expert on all things American."

Gradually, I begin to stop feeling sad. I've got company, someone who's actually quite fun to be around. I'm glad I gave James a chance, he probably won't ever be my best friend, but I'm glad I met him. He doesn't drink any more of his wine, though his explanation made sense. I'm just glad that I didn't have to spend my evening drunk and crying like I so often do. 

Eventually I check the time on my phone and see that it's midnight. "Oh shit." James says. "I should go. I have a meeting in 9 hours."

"Sorry I kept you." I say, smiling. "Pouring out all my trouble onto someone else."

"It's ok." he says. "Thank you for sharing your alcohol with me. I'll see you around." With that, he's gone. I should really follow his lead and go to bed, especially since I also have stuff to do tomorrow. But I can't quite bring myself to, instead I sit up watching some stupid cartoon and finishing James' pretty much untouched wine. 

Sitting here drinking and feeling lonely isn't going to do me any good, yet here I am even though I know it's bad for me. However, even I have to eventually call it a night. I switch the tv off and go to brush my teeth quickly. The tiredness of all my trauma has finally hit me, and I'm desperate to just get into bed and forget about the terrible day I've had.

When I get to my bedroom, i pull my jeans off so I'm just in my boxers and a t shirt, as I'm too lazy and now slightly lightheaded to do anything else. One of the advantages of not having my boyfriend here is that I have my bed to myself, so I can sprawl across it as much as I can. I do get lonely by myself sometimes, but I'd way rather have an empty bed than share with someone who hates me.

I curl onto my side tonight though, maybe because I'm sad and lonely and want to be held. This might be the closest I'll get for a while though, until Adam dumps me, and that's assuming that I'd even find someone who wanted to go out with me. But there's no point worrying about this now- the rational part of my brain takes over, and I begin to drift off to sleep.

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I feel quite sorry for Tristan now, even though I did this to him for the sake of the story 🤔 Please vote and comment if you liked this!