Tristan has been avoiding me for the last week or so, and it's slowly breaking my heart. We were friends who had, or still have, feelings for each other, and yet he hasn't spoken to me for what feels like forever. Maybe things got awkward as we admitted our feelings to each other and then didn't act on them. They haven't gone away though, so I need to do something if he won't.
Normally I would deal with a situation like this by inviting the guy over for a drink so we could relax and discuss it. But since Tristan's drink problem is fairly obvious, I don't think that would be a good idea, so we'll have to manage without alcohol. I texted him earlier to ask him to come over this evening, and although he didn't reply I did see that he'd seen it, so I'm still expecting him at some point. If not I'll need a more drastic plan, but I think this will work. I get the impression that he's not one for overly planning things, maybe because his life is so chaotic.
Despite my confidence, a small part of me is still surprised when I hear a knock at the door. I open it to see Tristan stood there with a bottle of wine. Before I can say anything he blurts out "I'm sorry."
"For what? I ask.
He sighs. "For ignoring you? For just refusing to acknowledge that we'd told each other our feelings? That was fucked up."
"I didn't really make an effort either." I point out.
Tristan sits on the floor beside me. "Yeah, but you're less of a mess than me. That's the only reason I didn't do anything. This is for you by the way." he gestures to the wine. "I think I've finally accepted I have a problem, so I'm trying to get rid of what I have."
Neither of us says anything for a while. I get up and put the wine away, out the way just in case. I sit back down beside him and say "Well we're here now. We've talked about our feelings and now we need to do something about them."
Tristan sighs. "I know, I'm just... scared I guess. Adam wrecked me, it's his fault I'm an alcoholic. And I still like you, I don't want to ruin what we have going on."
"You're not happy though." I say. "Since we know how we feel, I don't think not doing anything will help. Either get together or don't but we shouldn't leave it hanging."
He bites his lip. "I want to, honestly. I just don't know if I'm ready for a full on boyfriend yet. I'm sorry."
"We don't have to be that." I say gently. "We could just be somewhere in between if that's what makes you happy. Just be like we are now, love each other without labelling exactly what it is."
Tristan smiles, and it feels like the first time in ages that I've seen it. "I'd like that. Boyfriends are overrated anyway." I laugh, and then he sits up and hugs me properly. It's usually me hugging him rather than the other way around, but i don't mind. I'm just glad he's happier, god knows he deserves it. "I'm sorry." he says again into my shoulder. "I'm so useless, I can't even decide if I want a boyfriend even though I love him very much."
I smile. "You aren't useless. And you're right, boyfriends are overrated."
"We can just be Trames." he says.
"Trames." I repeat.
"Ship name." he says, and I can hear the smile on his face. "If we're not boyfriends then we need a different name."
"If that's what you want." I say, all the feelings of worry and stress magically flying away from me. "I want you to be happy."
Tristan lets go of our hug and looks me right in the eye. "Can I kiss you? Properly this time?" I give him a smile in response, so he leans up and kisses me. It's gentle but loving, and I can feel that the tension between us is totally gone.
We break apart and I say "That's better. No one was drunk that time." Tristan smiles, but he stills looks slightly nervous. "You ok?" I ask, running a thumb over his hand.
He nods. "My last boyfriend gave me a drink problem, and I don't want that again. It's my issue, but..."
"It's ok." I say. "I'll look after you. We can pour all the wine straight down the sink if that's what you need. I don't care." Tristan smiles properly, and then a comfortable silence spreads through the room. I'm happier than I've been for a while, and I can tell Tristan is too. I'm cool not being official boyfriends if that's what makes him happy, and in some ways I think just being us is better anyway. Either way, we're both happy and that's what really matters.
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It took 19 chapters but trames are finally together 🎉 I'm pleased. Please vote and comment if you are too :)
I've been listening to the day edition a lot and it's SO GOOD I'm so proud of the boys 😊 I love them so much.
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He's American (Trames au)
Fanfiction"I love your accent, it's so cute." "You're going to have to get used to it, we all talk like this here." Or, where Tristan has his heart broken, and the only thing that heals it is the sunny American who moves in upstairs. *vaguely based off she's...
