He's American (Trames au)

Chapter 10- Tristan's POV

I was still feeling sorry for myself, but I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed to go to my friend Brad's. We aren't really a proper band, so I don't want to call it practise. It's fun though, and doing what I enjoy and being with my friends is probably what I need. It feels like I haven't seen them for a while, I've been so depressed that I think I just wanted some time to myself, though that didn't quite turn out as planned.

I've been avoiding Adam as much as I can, but I still haven't been alone as James has been over a few times. It made me feel better, and while I wanted to be alone, in reality spending too much time by myself probably wouldn't have done me much good. In a way, it was nice that I don't know him that well, as it meant that he'd be less likely to get overly involved in all my problem. My friends do mean well, but it's still frustrating.

I'm sitting at Brad's house rifling through his CD collection whilst waiting for Connor. He's notoriously late for everything, so it might be a while yet. Brad comes back carrying a can of coke for us both. I take it from him gratefully, but I don't know how much of it I'll actually drink- I mostly drink water in an attempt to look healthy despite my alcohol problem.

"Found anything good in there?" Brad asks. 

I smile weakly. "Not unless you count early 2000s pop music."

"Excuse you." Brad says, pretending to be offended. "Thats the best kind of music." I laugh, but my heart isn't really in it. Brad clearly notices, as he comes over and sits next to me on the floor. "Are you ok?" he asks gently. 

I sigh, pulling my knees up to my chest. Brad knows me well enough that he'd see right through a lie, so I decide to be truthful. "Not really."

"Is this your horrible boyfriend again?" he asks sympathetically.

I nod. "I want to break up with him but I'm not brave enough to. Problem is, I've been avoiding him so much that the opportunity just isn't there." 

Neither of us really know what to say next, but thankfully Connor breaks the tension by bounding in energetically. "Sorry, sorry." He takes his jacket off and sees me as he does so. "What happened to you?"

I manage a small smile. "Nothing, I'm just being pathetic."

"You're not pathetic." Brad says firmly. "Don't let him make you feel like that."

I roll my eyes sarcastically. "Thanks. I'm cured now." I then bite my lip. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"It's ok." Brad says gently. Him and Connor are used to my drama queen tendencies, me having a bit of a strop really won't bother them. 

I pick myself up off the floor and say "Well, you guys aren't my therapists. We should probably do some practice now unless you want to hear me complain for a bit longer."

Connor laughs, but he still looks a bit sad. I don't think it's from me snapping at him though. But there's been enough upset for one day, so I wordlessly go to sit behind my drum kit. Brad gives Connor a look I can't decipher, but they both pick up their guitars. We play a few songs, though I'm really not paying attention and it's more muscle memory than anything else. 

I'm slowly getting more and more out of time, and my emotions are quite close to all spilling out. Suddenly I'm beating the hell out of my drums, just to physically get all my feelings out. I don't even realise until my friends turn to me, looking shocked. "Tris, what the hell?" Connor not quite shouts, slightly angrily.

Brad glares at him before coming over to stand next to me. "Right, you're definitely not ok. What's wrong, seriously?"

I try to answer, but all that comes out is a strangled sob. I don't want to have a breakdown in front of my friends, but that's the way that things look to be going. I stand up just as Connor says "I'm sorry-"

I cut him off. "It's not your fault, it's just- I need to go. I'm sorry." With that, I pretty much run out. Luckily, I didn't bring much with me, and Brad doesn't live far from me anyway. I don't run, or even walk quickly- despite my hasty exit, I'm now wandering home trying hard not to start howling in the middle of the street.

I'm totally out of it, but I somehow reach home fairly quickly. I run up the stairs and unlock the door before kicking my shoes off and running to the kitchen for a glass of whisky. I run back to the living room and collapse onto the sofa, but not spilling my drink. Then, i pull my knees up again and begin to let out the sobs I've been holding in for too long.

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I liked this one, though I feel sorry for Tristan again 😢 Please vote and comment :)