He's American (Trames au)

Chapter 18- Tristan's POV

I was honestly kind of lying when I said that I was ok. It was a relief getting everything between me and James out in the open, but although we made the right decision, it wasn't what my heart wanted and has therefore been quite hard to think about. That's why I've been keeping to myself for the last few days, it seemed easier than having to pretend that I'm happy being friends with James.

Or at least, I was by myself until my other friends took it upon themselves to investigate. I was glad that they cared, and again it's probably the right thing to do even if it's not what I want. So Brad and Connor are coming over for, as Brad put it, 'talking though it and maybe getting some lyrics out of it'. We've had writing sessions like this before, where I crack open a bottle of wine and overshare about my life and feelings while my friends write about it, as lyrics have never really been my thing.

I'm stood in my kitchen debating which drink to go for when there's a knock at the door. I open it to see Brad and Connor stood there with their guitars in tow. "Hi." Connor says, a bit more subdued than normal- maybe he doesn't want another of my emotional outbursts, I can sympathise with him there. 

"Hi." I return, gesturing them to come inside. They set up 'camp' on the living room floor while I decide on red wine and bring it through with some glasses. My drink problem isn't exactly a secret, so I'm surprised that Connor looks so shocked when I pour myself a large glass. 

Brad pours some for himself before saying "In all honestly, I don't know how much if anything we're going to get done today. The main purpose of this was to get you to open up a bit."

"I think I'm open enough already." I say. "I'm not good at keeping things to myself."

Brad laughs. "I know you're not. But you're good at keeping the important things to yourself."

I sigh- I know they're my friends but I can't help thinking that they'll soon get fed up with my endless life crises and problems. I take a sip of my wine before saying "I did talk to James a few days ago, that helped a bit." I then find myself explaining about how I kissed him and the fallout and then the discussion we had afterwards. "He literally wasn't even mad at me, that was the worst bit. He said he kind of felt the same way as me but now isn't the right time to move things on."

Connor smiles. "You've had quite a busy few days then."

"You could say that." I agree. "I think I need to start getting over him, at least temporarily."

"In the nicest way possible," Brad begins, "It seems like you're in really deeply really quickly. I think James is right, are you sure this isn't too soon?"

"I agree with him, it probably is." I say. "But when a cute stranger is nicer to you than your actual boyfriend is you basically fall in love with them straight away." I've never said that out loud before, or even thought it really, but that's exactly what the problem is. 

"I don't really know what to say to that." Connor puts in, I think to break the nervous silence more than anything else. "But that sounds tough."

"It is." I say gloomily, nearly draining my wine glass. "I mean, it sounds so angsty, but it's going to be so hard getting over someone that you never even admitted to yourself that you were in love with."

"That's deep." Brad comments, grabbing a pen and noting it down. "That'll probably be too tumblr like to ever use, but I like it."

I laugh, pouring myself another glass of wine, though I do notice Connor's expression change to one of worry. "Anyway," I say, "If you can't rely on your alcoholic loser friend to come out with some wisdom then who can you?"

"You're not a loser." Connor says earnestly.

I smile. "I kind of am. You're my friends, you're supposed to think well of me no matter what." Connor gives Brad a look that I can't interpret, so I ignore it and we carry on. We work for a couple more hours before they have to go, and while I'm glad they came, I now need some time alone. I did get some stuff out, and I admitted to myself what the biggest problem was. Now I just have to deal with that, but a night where I've had a few drinks probably isn't it. There's always the future though, I'll just have to see where it goes.

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I still have no idea what'll happen next, but I liked this one 😊 Please vote and comment if you did too. Also sorry about this being a couple of days late, I need to be more consistent 😳

I went to Amsterdam last week with my best friend and I had such a great time :) it's such a nice place and people are lovely, I had some really good food and neither of us fell in a canal, so I'm deeming it a success.