Youth || Joshler

8: Tyler Feels Infinite

[play the song when it's cued, and enjoy!]

The streets were dead silent in Ohio that evening. The only sound heard was the gentle patter of Tyler's footsteps on the wet pavement, and perhaps the light rainfall. It was a cold evening, but it didn't bother the teenager all that much- he was far too preoccupied with the thought of seeing Josh again.

They weren't a thing. They'd agreed on that- I suppose Tyler changed his mind during detention, so they were something, but they definitely weren't exclusive. They couldn't have been- that was clear from the start. But whatever they were, Tyler didn't want it to stop- he wouldn't dream of it in a million gazillion years. Josh was just so breathtaking in ways he couldn't even explain.

He was headed toward the writer's workshop that rainy evening. He couldn't care less about Hayley, or anyone else, because all he cared about right then was Josh. When he reached the building, he was a little late, so he wasn't the first there. He had to walk inside the darkened coffee shop curiously.

Everybody was there, seated in the couch area, Josh's beautifully sculpted back turned to him. Tyler approached hazily, noticing Hayley's glare but not really minding, too fixated on his teacher.

"You're here again," observed Hayley, stating the obvious. This made Josh turn his head, smiling instantly at the sight of Tyler.

Tyler made sure to dress nice that evening, wearing his absolute nicest Sunday khakis and a clean blue t-shirt. He actually spent time on styling and sculpting his hair so it spiked upward- and his breath was extra minty, just in case. He even put on his special cologne, just for Josh. He wanted to impress him, and Josh's eyes said it all- Tyler looked good, and the both of them knew it.

The brunette took a seat on the couch confidently, not even caring a little bit as Hayley shot him a glare.

"Okay, so now that we're all here, we're going to read out our poems from last session." Tyler raised an eyebrow in surprise, and Josh shot him a reassuring glance. "Going into writing, it's important to push past that initial fear of sharing your work with others. If you ever get published, people are eventually going to read your work, including the publisher. As a writer you must be completely comfortable and flexible with that idea."

Oh shit. Hayley smirked challengingly at herself, but obviously meant for the others to see. Of course she would be comfortable in this department. She was the musical chick- Tyler was the jock, and he couldn't just read out his poetry as easily.

"Let's start with Hayley," proposed Josh, receiving a bright smile from the ginger haired girl.

Hayley gathered her papers and began. "I felt you in my legs before I ever met you; And when you laid beside me for the first time, I told you, 'I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you..'"

The words continued to cascade out of her mouth so easily, brilliantly, in multicolour. Sure, Tyler didn't really fancy Hayley, but he couldn't deny that he was impressed. Eventually she was done, rewarded with an applause that Tyler sheepishly joined in on. She looked like she might as well have been seated in a throne, all golden and wonderful and glowing with pride.

The rest of the group read, and some of the works were lame, about sucky parents or past flings. There was one good one about sexual abuse, it was really powerful- hell, it made Hayley practically shed a tear. Eventually everyone had read but Tyler, who wasn't looking forward to being last.

"Tyler? Your turn," said Josh, as though Tyler wasn't completely aware it was his turn. He gave him another smile, and Tyler had to sheepishly dig through his bag to find the crumpled up paper. It made a crinkling noise as he straightened it out.

He took a deep breath, reading the words he'd wrote with an unsure waver. "I start to part to halves of my heart in the dark, and I; Don't know where I should go, and the tears and the fears begin to multiply.. taking time in a simple place, in my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase; And it's said that a war's lead but I forget that I let another day go by.." he read the rest.

When he finished, he pursed his lips and quickly tucked away the paper. Having to read that out loud felt like a door being opened to his mind, which may as well have been worse than Pandora's box. It was almost too invasive to his feelings. It was a peak of what he felt like most nights, laying in bed alone with only his mind to entertain him.

Was it too depressing? He stared at his untied shoelaces and waiting for something, anything, any kind of response.

Somebody started clapping. Then someone else joined in. Eventually, everyone was in an applause for Tyler, everyone except for Hayley, who he could feel staring a fiery glare into Tyler's scalp. Did he do good?

"Very well written," said Josh, grinning at Tyler in awe. He acknowledged the group in whole, "everyone's were well written. Good job; this is a step in the right direction."

Eventually, Josh announced that the workshop was over, and the room was soon empty when people began leaving.

"I'm assuming you need a ride," murmured Josh, standing. It was just the two of them alone in the room. Tyler nodded eagerly. "Okay. Good job, by the way."

"On what?"

"Your work. It was.. breathtaking, I'll say. You're really good with words." Tyler flushed bright scarlet when Josh said it, picking nervously at his khakis. "I mean it, Tyler, you're amazing."

Tyler smiled shyly, butterflies running through his soul and brightening his cheeks, making him feel completely whole again. "Thank you."

"Any time." Josh got closer to Tyler, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of his head. Tyler stood up a moment later, still blushing. "Let's go."

Grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, Tyler allowed himself to be escorted out of the shop by Josh. They walked to his car peacefully, Tyler jumping into the front seat and playing with the radio as soon as he could, Josh beside him.

They pulled from the curb and a song Tyler knew was playing on the first station he changed to. Josh asked him to turn it up- he did.

[*cue song*]

They drove down the darkened streets, the wind running through Tyler's hair, window rolled down. The air was cold but refreshing. He felt alive with Josh. He felt endless. He felt infinite.

He felt one of Josh's hands sliding under his, and flipped his hand around, lacing his fingers through Tyler's. They held hands confidently, neither of them shaky or regretful, because they both knew it felt right. Fuck age differences and social laws- it felt right, and fuck it if the world said different.

It was then, in that moment, that Tyler felt it in his heart, or perhaps in his gut, or maybe a bit of both. He felt the scary truth- the realization, that it was very likely that he would fall in love with this man. How could he not? He never saw it coming, but the feeling engulfed him.

The wind combed through his hair and the night caressed his cheek, and holy shit, Tyler Joseph was falling in love.