Youth || Joshler

13: Josh Is Leaving

Tyler's world was falling apart. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch or one of those dreams where you're constantly running toward something but you never seem to be able to get there. It felt like some sort of dream, all of it- some dizzy, painful dream (or nightmare) that never seems to end. Tyler's world was crumbling like a pastry, crashing down underneath his very feet. It might as well have been the end of the world as he knew it.

The only thing to save him was the ping of a notification, telling him Josh texted him. He was outside. Down the street. It was too good to be true- escape from all of it, escape from the nightmare he was now living in.

Silently regarding his medium sized duffel bag that he'd hastily packed, Tyler decided he had to go along with it now. He had to get away- he would be safe with Josh, he told himself, too distracted thinking too much to really think about it at all. Tyler slung the strap over his shoulder and approached his bedroom window, which was open already, but slightly, propped up with a block of wood. His dad said it was to let a breeze in.

Tyler wedged out the block from in between the windowsill and the frame, other hand supporting the sliding part of the window which was suddenly loose and heavy, gravity pulling it down. He defied gravity, however, pushing it all the way up until it stuck and left just enough room for him to crawl through.

His only advantage was his strength, in comparison to his size. Tyler was slim and built so, yet muscular- Coach Healy said he was built for playing basketball. He had a baller's body. Apparently, it was also a Sneak Out of The House Through a Window body. Just small enough to squeeze out, and just strong enough to climb down the two-story gap between Tyler and the ground. Thank god there was a pipe that went up to the roof from the grass.

When he hit the ground, Tyler was sure to be quiet, noticing Josh's car at the end of the street. He stealthily made way across his front lawn, making sure that nobody could see him through any of his house's windows. When he was safe, past the neighbor's thick line of shrubbery and hedge, Tyler practically jogged down the sidewalk.

He opened the passenger's door and climbed in without saying anything, tossing his bag in the back of Josh's car and doing up his seatbelt. He noticed Josh looking at him with concern in his eyes- Tyler sort of wished he wouldn't do that. Not after an abrupt lack of concern earlier at school.

"Hey," said Josh after a moment of unnecessary silence. "Are you okay?"

"No," whispered Tyler, bursting into (uncalled for) tears. He didn't intend to cry. "No, I'm n-not. Can you just drive?"

"Okay." Josh did up his seatbelt and Tyler chose a place to coldly stare at as they descended down the road. "..You wanna talk about it?"

"W-what would y-you care?"

"Ty, if this is about school, I'm sorry. I panicked, I didn't know what to do, so I did something really stupid... I'm so sorry.."

Tyler shook his head, forcing way the tears. He didn't want to talk about it, was what he wished he could say if he were a little bit stronger. He just wanted to get away. But, too afraid to talk and screw things up more, Tyler remained dead silent and hoped that Josh would take that as a sign that the conversation was over.

And it was, all the way past the farmland and highway and skyscrapers, all the way to the parking spot in front of Josh's apartment building, when the ignition was cut short and the hum of the vehicle died down and Josh's keys jingled as they were slid into the man's pocket.

"Come on, let's get you inside," sighed the math teacher. Tyler did as told and exited the car with his duffel bag, trudging beside Josh to the building's front doors and hearing the beep of the car being locked behind them. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as I need to," murmured Tyler quietly, not daring to speak up for fear of getting emotional again. They entered the lobby and the conversation was over- Josh nodded his head, and that was that.

The elevator ride was awkward. The walk down the hallway was awkward. The annoying sound of fumbling with keys as Josh fumbled with the lock to his door was frustrating. The silence that followed when the door was open, and Tyler was walking into the apartment, was torturous.

Josh sighed through his nose, rather loudly in a way that made Tyler gulp. "You sleeping on the bed or on the foldout?"

"I dunno." Tyler averted his eyes to anywhere but Josh. "The foldout, I guess."

"You're really that upset?"

God, wasn't it obvious? Tyler wondered why he even decided to come here in the first place. Josh was being a dick. "You basically told me to fuck off when I needed you the most. So, yeah. I'm that upset."

"I don't understand, I apologized-"

"Maybe that's not enough, Mr. Dick."

"Real mature, Joseph."

"'Joseph'? Wow. Guess we're back to teacher and student and that's all again," Tyler sneered.

"Stop being so childish!"

Tyler grit his teeth, livid. It took all he had to hold back the tears, and with them the insults spewing from behind his throat. He knew it wouldn't end well if he retaliated. But he couldn't deny that it hurt- that that's what Josh saw him as, childish. As a child.

"I mean-" Josh began, but it was far too late for apologies. What was said had been said.

"No," Tyler cut him off, "I get it, I'm just a fuckin' child. Fuck you. I'll take the foldout."

Josh shook his head angrily. Tyler observed as he slid on his shoes again, and zipped up his coat, taking his keys back from where he'd recently placed them down.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going," asked Tyler, stepping forward to grab Josh's forearm. Shit, he didn't really want him to go. Sure, he was pissed, but... if Josh left, they probably wouldn't make up until later. Tyler didn't want to be left with himself. It was dangerous.

"To get some air," grunted Josh, tugging his arm away from the teenager in a single motion. He turned away and stomped out of the apartment, leaving Tyler shocked that he'd actually do such a thing.

After the sound of Josh's footsteps echoing down the other side of the door faded, Tyler turned and headed toward the couch. What a fucking dick, an absolute asshole. He didn't know that this was what he signed up for. It was bullshit.

Tyler waited an hour. Then another. Then a few more.

Before he knew it, it was one o'clock in the morning and he was fast asleep on the couch, completely fucking alone.