Only Because I Need You

Conclusion

Caitlin watched in amusement as Cisco spun himself around aimlessly in his squeaky chair, arguing pointlessly with Harry about something that was probably not worth their time. The cortex was filled with familiar hum of machines and the gentle muttering of Iris and Barry in the corner of the room. Caitlin's eyes flicked between the two groups of people, a smile rested on her face, but it did not reach her eyes. She was leaning against the main desk, her phone was clasped in her hands but the screen had gone blank. She was happy that Barry had finally married Iris, after everything they had been through, they really deserved on another. A small hollow in her chest throbbed with every heart beat. Usually she didn't notice it's empty existence, she had work or her friends to fill it in. However, in that moment of peace, it was suffocating her. They were on their lunch break and she had nothing to occupy her attention, aside from what she was missing. The hole in her heart first made an appearance after the particle accelerator explosion, when she lost the one man she felt that she had ever truly fallen head over heels for. Yet that hole was filled once more when Ronnie came back to her, alive, although merged with another man. It didn't take long until her beloved disappeared once more, that time for good. She clenched her jaw. Then came Jay and Julian. One had moved to a different country, the other tried to murder her friends, and the most painful part of it all, was that the emptiness in her heart grew a little more every time she began to love someone and they left her. The grip on her phone tightened, doubt and regret swirled behind her eyes, she would never grow old with any of them. She would never have the special kind of love that Barry and Iris had. Maybe she didn't deserve it. Maybe it was the universes way of punishing her for her actions as Killer Frost. Maybe it was the actions of her alter ego that forced her to live a life devoid of any love for another, devoid of love for her.

"Caitlin!" Cisco's urgent voice yanked her from her thoughts. Caitlin blinked, finding that she had been staring off into her wing of the cortex. Her gaze jolted over to her friend who was seated next to her, staring at her with curious eyes. She raised her eyebrows and plastered a smile onto her face, shoving her thoughts to the back of her brain. She could deal with them later, "What do you think?"

"About what?" Her face was blank, but she could feel the eyes of all her team mates resting on her. Iris and Barry were no longer engrossed in their chat, they were instead curiously watching the scene in front of them.

"Girl, were you not paying attention," Cisco rolled his eyes, earning him a chuckle from Caitlin, "anyway, we were talking about Savitar," he explained in a flurry of rushed hand gestures at Harry, "we think that the Savitar we have has not been locked in the speed-force yet, so he has not yet become 'a god'," he snorted the last few words, "so we should rename him,"

"Cisco How could you possibly know he has not been locked in the speedforce," Caitlin smirked at him, "and anyway, what would you name him?"

"Actually, we do know for sure that he has not been locked in the speedforce yet because it was Wally who let him out in our timeline, and in our timeline he is dead" He began to explain, Caitlin could see this conversation was very interesting to the Scarlet speedster, "So if we go off of that knowledge then we can assume that he is too young to have been locked in the speedforce prison since the only way he is living is  because his timeline began in the future, and the moment he is locked in the speedforce, his timeline begins to merge with ours," Cisco slid his fingers in between each other to emphasise his point.

"Riiigggttt," Caitlin nodded, a click of realisation pinged in the back of her mind. She somewhat understood what Cisco was telling her. If Savitar had been locked in the Speedforce prison already, then the only time could have escaped was when Wally set him free.

"On my earth we call people who cannot be identified Carl Ann,"

Cisco turned to Harry with an expression of genuine anger, "no, no, no, no, we are not calling him Carl," he waggled his finger enthusiastically.

Caitlin's face twisted into disapproval, "I'm sorry Harry, but I agree with Cisco, evil Barry does not suit the name Carl,"

"Okay, am I missing something here," Barry raised his eyebrows, "you cannot give the evil, murderous version of me a nickname," he strode over to them, crossing his arms over his chest. Iris followed in his footsteps with a small smile. Cisco opened his mouth to reply, but Barry raised a hand to silence him, "without my input," he sent them a lopsided grin.

"Well we were trying to find an evil and chilling version of the name Bartholomew, but it is proving to be very challenging," Harry huffed, sticking his bottom lip out in a slight pout.

"Yeah, the name Barry is too... colloquial to sound evil," Iris bit her lip, a slight chuckle escaped her lips. Barry stared down at her, his eyes the picture of love and peace.

"We need something with malice and grit," Cisco announced leaning back into his chair, pulling his eyebrows together and fiddling with his fingers.

"Bart?" Barry suggested with a shrug. Team Flash stared at him with horror filled eyes, "Okay, thats a no then," he raised his hands in surrender.

"What about Ethan?" Caitlin suggested the first name that popped into her brain.

Cisco turned to her, his eyes slowly growing wide, "Yes," he muttered, "Ethan,"

"That is good," Harry nodded passionately, "it is both icy and incredibly different from Barry,"

"Look dude, it looks like you are going to have some naming competition," Barry chuckled at Cisco. Caitlin felt a smile creep onto her face, and infect her eyes. For a fleeting moment, that hole in her heart seemed smaller than before.