Only Because I Need You

Chitty Chatty

Caitlin could no longer feel the jagged stones cutting into her back as she lay on the floor in the centre of her cell. Most of her body had gone numb and was aching to be used once more. Her mind was screaming to be used too. She was sick and tired of seeing the same four walls. She had long since lost track of time, and she could tell Ethan had too. They spoke sparingly, only really when necessary and when they did, it was only ever about their escape. Yet it was refreshing, like a taking sip of cold water in the sweltering heat of the dessert.

She did miss her team, without them she felt a little hollow inside. Like there was always something missing. She had felt like that since Ronnie's death. After all, when he died she lost her rock, her fiancé and most importantly, her best friend. She had almost forgotten how to function after his death, but Cisco and Dr Wells had her back. They pulled her from the river of grief she was drowning in and their constant kindness and support was like a towel to dry the frigid water from her skin. Of course she was not full healed, she still was chilled to the bone and shivering without him. She feared she would never warm up again. The only thing that truly seemed to ease her pain was being with her friends, but whilst she was imprisoned she couldn't turn to them for support. Not only that, but she had a lot of free time to think. She found herself pulling up old but happy memories she had once forgotten about, only to find herself struggling to hold back tears. She couldn't cry in front of Ethan, that would be a death wish.

She tilted her head over to the speedster who's cell was joined to hers. His head was placed carelessly in his hands and his whole body was slumped over itself. Caitlin felt a small pang of pity, he must have been suffering just as much as her, but she wondered of his past memories were haunting him too, "Ethan, can I ask you a question?" She felt her voice vibrate through her chest.

He tilted his head up to her. He sucked in a deep breath, "I don't exactly have anything better to do," his voice was low and lazy, his words nearly slurred together.

"How did you get your scars?" She asked. She figured she might as well ask, it was something she had been dying to know and they had all the time in the world.

"I got them from Barry," he replied, his voice much clearer than before.

Caitlin felt her eyes widen in alarm, "Barry did that to you?" She squeaked. She was more shocked that he had answered the question rather than the answer itself.

"He did," Ethan's voice cracked, "but you probably think I did something to deserve it, don't you?" His voice crackled with anger and poorly disguised offence.

Caitlin had not meant to offend him with her reaction, "no, I was just wondering what Barry could have done to cause so much damage to your face," she replied honestly. She knew that Barry was capable of doing some cruel things, after all, he had turned into Savitar.

"He threw lightning at me," Ethan told her, his tone much softer than before, he tilted his chin up, staring down his nose at her, the light caught the edges of his upturned smirk. He was challenging her. He wanted her to take Barry's side. He wanted her to start a fight with him over her beloved hero. She would do no such thing.

"Why?" She prompted him to tell her more. He cocked his head slightly to the side and stared intently at her as though she were a puzzle missing a piece. In his mind, maybe she was. A lot of things had changed after Savitar's death.

"To prove a point. That I wasn't the real Barry Allen," he paused momentarily before slightly hesitantly continuing his explanation, "he told me he would give me a chance and that he wanted to train with me," he snorted, "but then when I wasn't looking he threw lightning at me. Then he told me as my face caught alight and began to burn that the real Barry Allen would have been able to avoid it, because the real Barry was the Flash and the Flash was always supposed to be one step ahead," his voice shook and quivered slightly, but still held an aura of gravelly power. His eyes had half closed over and the way that light reflected from his face unevenly from his face, told Caitlin he was frowning. She wasn't sure if he was still trying to test her, to see if she would take Barry's side. He didn't need to, Caitlin believed him fully. The future Barry at that point had lost everything and everyone around him had turned bitter. He was clearly still blaming himself for Iris's death and took it out on his time remnant. It was not an excuse, but to an extent she understood what he was feeling. If she had a double of herself that she could beat up whenever she failed, she would certainly be tempted.

"The lightning burst your eardrum didn't it?" She asked, her gaze returned to the ceiling. Ethan had been betrayed, tricked and rejected by himself. That could never be easy. Caitlin had been fighting a war against Killer Frost for too long, only to realise they were more alike than she had first anticipated.

"How did you know that?" His voice was low and demanding. She could feel him narrowing his eyes at her.

"I'm a Doctor, I notice when the people around me are deaf in one ear," she retorted, "the part I don't understand is why it hasn't healed over, your super speedy healing should have fixed it quickly,"

"Even though it healed quickly, it got infected even quicker," he let a weary breath of air escape his lips, "but I am slowly regaining my hearing back,"

That was as Caitlin expected, if that man could heal a broken spinal chord then eventually his hearing would return, the fact he had been hit with speedforce lightning likely played a factor in his healing as well, "I can help you with that when we get out of here," she told him. She held her breath and waited for his reply. It had been a risky choice of words, but she wanted to probe further into his mind without it being noticed.

"No," he snapped suddenly, "absolutely not," Caitlin felt frustration lingering on her chest. She bit down on her tongue, he was like a stroppy toddler that did want to eats his greens. Well, she was going to have to persuade him one way or another, otherwise he would grow up without ever eating a vegetable, which in turn could kill him. She needed to find some way of helping him. When she had gone rouge as Killer Frost, Team Flash had tried everything they could do to get her back. Yet when it came to Savitar, they had given up. They had given up on that broken version of Barry. She bit her lip. They should have tried harder. She knew that their failure lay in the fact that their Barry had been alive, so they had unwillingly deemed Savitar as nothing more than a copy. She could make up for their past mistakes by helping Ethan though. She needed to make up for those mistakes, otherwise she would be haunted by them for her entire life.

"Do you still plan on killing Iris?" She asked. Little did he know, but she had once been the debating champion of her school. It was a proud achievement of hers and it's skills came in very handy whilst trying to speak sense into the ever irrational speedster. However, once more she was met with silence. She risked at glance at him. He was staring at her intently, his head tilted slightly and his glistening eyes had the beginnings of a glare. She had his full attention, "because you don't need to anymore," the stony silence continued, "since your timeline began in the future you won't be erased even if you are never created. Just like Eobard," he still did not reply. She sucked in a breath, fear crept into her mind, she was scared she may have said too much but she pushed aside her doubts. She didn't have the patience for second guessing, "and the Team Flash from this time, they weren't the one who betrayed you. When they were fighting Savitar they tried so many times to reach out to him too. It's never too late to reform,"

Caitlin's heart thundered in her ears. She bit fiercely down on her lip. She looked over at him, his gaze had fallen to the floor and his jaw was jutted out to one side. A flicker of hope erupted in her heart. Maybe, just maybe she was getting through to him. With a hefty sigh Ethan raised his eyes to meet hers, "Caitlin?" He asked, his voice much more stable than before.

"Yes?" She replied hesitantly. It terrified her that she could not predict what he was going to say.

"Shut up," He raised his eyebrows and gave her a firm stare. She felt a smile take hold of her face and she rolled into her side, facing away from him. She would oblige to him that once, simply because she knew he had listened to her.

A/N: Listen, or read, whatever. The next few chapters. I tried to save them, I promise. Let's just say I wrote during a week that I had four exams one day after another 😖. I know that not an excuse but honestly, I'm glad I am always two weeks ahead 😂. Also, the new Flash episode. I still really want the new speedster to be evil, like sorry, but please.