Only Because I Need You

At Nightfall

Caitlin gripped tightly onto the umbrella that was opened above her head. Solid hail lashed downwards, battering against her. Her free arm wrapped around her body, the wind viciously howled in her ears, accompanied by the noise of the hail. Cold droplets of water sank into her skin, causing shivers to vibrate down her spine. People pushed past her on the streets, rushing to escape from the down pour. She sped up as her destination came into view. Through the darkened sky she could make out the illuminated sign for Jitters. She pushed open the frigid door handle and stepped into the warmth of the nearly vacant coffee shop. She pulled her umbrella down, folding it until it was small enough to fit in the purse that was slung over her shoulder. She glanced around the warmly lit cafe, spotting Iris's familiar face at the opposite end. The sweet smell of coffee drifted into her nose. A smile split her features as she strode over to Iris, the sound of the thundering hail behind her filled the building. Iris was sat at one of the taller tables, on top of a slender, but sturdy looking stool. Caitlin peeled off her soaking jacket and slid into the seat opposite her friend, sending the woman a friendly smile, "Hey,"

"Thanks for coming," Iris smiled back, her soft features crinkled, she pushed forwards a mug of steaming hot coffee, "a double latte macchiato," she added, cradling her own mug into her chest.

"Thanks, I really need one," Caitlin hummed back, both women picked up their mugs and took a swig of the drink. Caitlin could feel the warm liquid slipping down her throat, a sigh of satisfaction escaped her lips, "so what is it you wanted to speak about?"

A gush of air escaped Irises lips, her eyes met Caitlin's with a weary fatigue that she knew all too well, "it's about Ethan," Iris croaked, "how did your meeting with him go?"

"I don't think it went bad, but it didn't go well, he was furious," Caitlin stared into the swirling, brown abyss of her coffee. If only it could suck away all her problems. She could still feel the hatred and anger burning her from behind his leering eyes, yet she could picture, just as vividly, the torment that half possessed his face, "and he was in pain," her voice was steady and calm, she pulled her gaze up to meet Iris's, who was staring at her intently.

"Did he say something?" Iris asked, her voice was low, barely a whisper.

"No," Caitlin shook her head, "not really, but there was this look on his face for just a moment," Iris's gaze remained put, but her eyebrows knitted neatly together, "he looked just like Barry the day the his father died, and the day he found out that Jay was Zoom, or the day he found out that Well's was the one who killed his mother," she explained, the corners of her lips tugged downwards.

Iris sat back on her stool, she pressed her lips into a thin line, "Barry told me that Ethan went rogue because of team Flash and how they treated him, Savitar told me that we betrayed him," a humourless chuckle escaped her lips, "but would we really do that?"

Caitlin bit down on her lip, "Well, you were dead," she began, despite that being all she needed to say, "Barry went off the rails and everyone lost something. So I suppose it is not all that unbelievable," Savitar had brought them all to their knees, so in return they took their anger out on the time remnant that would turn into him.

Iris nodded her head, her gaze drifted away, if only for a moment, "what are we going to do with him? We can't just keep him locked up in the pipeline forever," she began to rub her thumb over the handle of her mug.

"I think that's what the boys want to do," she replied, "we can't put him in Iron Heights because he is genetically identical to Barry and there is no way we could deal with the back lash from that, but we also can't let him go for obvious reasons," she took another swig of her coffee. The TV in the corner of the room blared annoyingly in their moment of peace, broadcasting weather reports non-stop.

Iris pursed her lips, her eyes stared off into empty space, "then we are going to have to keep luring the Barry inside of him out," she refocused her attention back in Caitlin, "it was us who got him into this mess and he is still Barry, we can't give up on him," she shook her head, her grip on her mug grew tighter. Caitlin knew how much Iris loved Barry, and she could tell it was hurting the woman to see any version of him in pain or need, no matter how evil. She felt a small tug at her heart, it couldn't have been easy to know that her husbands evil future self wanted her dead.

"I know," Caitlin's voice was soft but firm, "to give up on him would be betraying Barry," the girls held a warm stare for a few moments. Their hearts filled with a sad warmth. A ping caught Caitlin's attention, she hurriedly pulled her phone from her soggy pocket, carefully inspecting the message she had received, "We need to head to the lab, Cisco has found a meta,"

Savitar sat at the end of his make-shift bed. He understood it all now, he was Savitar, that's why the older him had allowed him to live. He rested his elbows on his knees, grinding his teeth. His cell was small, he could barely lie down in it. He clenched his hands into fists, his brown hair fell forwards in clumps in front of his eyes. How dare they. They named him like a pet. As though he were their new goldfish that they could laugh at because he only ever swam in circles. Blinding rage burned in his chest. After everything they had done, that had to be one of the worst blows. To degrade him with a nick name because they no longer viewed him worthy of his true name. A strangled growl escaped his throat. They were going to keep him down there until he died and then they were going to flush him down the toilet. He could feel it. Then there was Caitlin. She had the audacity to speak to him as though he was still the Barry she knew, as though he could be saved. He couldn't. He wasn't Barry. He wasn't the Flash and apparently he wasn't Savitar either. No, he was 'Ethan'. What a stupid name, it didn't suit him at all.

He stood up, his entire body was tense. He began to walk in circles slowly, trying to clear his enraged thoughts. He needed a way to escape, but they had put the stupid power inhibitor cuff on him. A bit like you would put a collar on a dog. To stake your claim on it, to show that you were it's better. Savitar had killed so many speedsters across the multiverse, but somehow Barry Allen managed to escape him. He didn't want to kill Barry, he wanted to break him, to make him feel the pain that he had felt. To take away the thing he cared about most, and make him watch as she died. A small smile tugged his lips at the thought of Barry's tortured, grief ridden face. The image slipped from his mind as he glanced at the spot Caitlin had been standing in when she had accused him of caring. Another nasty snarl escaped his lips. He didn't care, he swore he didn't. He shouldn't care. They abandoned him. He was nothing to them.

Then again. The team Flash that was imprisoning him was not the team Flash that had rejected him. He violently shook his head, his pace quickened as he circled the same spot. No, it was the same team. They had thrown him into the pipeline to rot and die. He would escape though. He would escape somehow and they would never be able to stop him, or throw him away like trash, or give him nick names again after he killed Iris.