baby bellinger / corey seager

44

   After two weeks, one of them spent in the hospital; I was finally back home.

I was laying down on the couch with Henry in my lap. I had missed my puppy so much more than I thought I would, and he seemed to have felt the same because he was content with cuddling with me.

"I'm back," Corey says, coming through the door and plopping next to me with a take-out box from Denny's.

I was slowly learning to love myself, or at the very least, take care of myself. It was hard, but I knew the baby needed food, so I made sure I provided it with what it needs.

It was still weird to me how they were able to determine the gender of the baby so early. What if it's not even a girl?

I slowly ate the burger Corey had brought me. I wasn't entirely better yet. I'm still working on it, but hopefully, I will be soon.

I know that if I'm carrying a child, it would mean that I have to put their body before mine. Their health matters more than mine own.

Corey thinks that that's not the positive way to force a recovery, but that's what was working for me right now, so I plan on sticking with it. He thinks I should be recovering for myself, not the baby because right after I have the baby, I might go back to old ways. And while he may be right, that's not how I saw it.

I was still calling the baby them, it, or they because I don't wholly trust the fact that the doctors can tell that it's a girl that early on in the pregnancy.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm 100% hoping for a girl, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I'll be fine with either.

It still felt weird knowing that I was carrying a child that wasn't my Corey's. I had spent many nights up late thinking about it.

I couldn't imagine what went on through Corey's mind when people asked him about it. I knew it had to be awkward for him when people ask.

Everyone who knew who the Corey Seager was, knew that he wasn't the father of his girlfriend's baby. Once Cody and Bryce's fight was over, everyone knew two things: Bryce Harper was a rapist, and the girl he raped was pregnant and carrying his child.

Everyone who knew baseball now knew my name. Pictures of me, my boyfriend, my brother, and even my dad were posted everywhere. My softball stats and statements that were apparently "made" by my coaches and teammates were swarming the internet.

It's been a rough adjustment. I've always hated knowing that I can't control what people think about me. With all the different rumors floating around, people had conceived all kinds of different opinions on me.

I'm hoping things will start to die down once everything is settled in court. We are set to go in tomorrow, and I've been mentally trying to prepare myself. I've never had to talk about my sickness or my past as publically as I would tomorrow, and I don't know if I'm ready for it.

Cody got permission to sit with me tomorrow. Initially, it was going to be three different tables for each of us, and Cody and me's lawyer was going to stand in between mine and my brother's appointed stations, but Cody went through some legal process to ensure that we could sit together.

I was glad; I needed my big brother to face what I was about to go through tomorrow. God knows I couldn't do it by myself.

I put my almost-finished burger back into the take-out box and pushed it away from me on the counter.

"We should go to bed now. You have a big day tomorrow." Corey says, and I nod in response.

When I stand up, he takes Henry from me and carries him to his doggy bed.

I walk ahead and go to Corey's- well I guess our- room. I hadn't yet moved in with Corey, even though Cody already has. I've been taking Henry to the house every day for a couple of hours to get him use to it since we'd be moving in there by next week.

Tonight was his first night staying over, but I'm sure my boy will be fine.

My thoughts about Henry went away when my other boy came in the room.

Corey pushed back the covers, and we both got under them. He turned and faced me, moving my hair out of my eyes and kissing the top of my head. "Are you going to be okay tomorrow?" He asks.

Corey originally wasn't going to be able to come, but MLB had postponed every game tomorrow so people could watch the outcome of the hearing while it's on live TV.

That's how big all of this is. Everyone's on my side, and that's been amazing, but it pains me to know that millions of others are going through similar situations.

"I'm scared," I admit to Corey. Scared was an understatement; I was absolutely terrified.

This whole situation makes me feel vulnerable, and that's not a feeling I enjoyed. It was like the entire world knows I was raped.

"I know, but it'll be okay. After tomorrow, Bryce will be in jail, and you'll never have to worry about him again."

"Unless he doesn't get sentenced. There's a huge chance that he won't."

Corey sighs because he knows it's true. We had watched a documentary the night before about how the legal system deals with rape and other sexual assaults. Only seven out of every one thousand rapists are sentenced, so who's to say Bryce won't be one of the ones who get to walk free.

"We'll just have to go tomorrow and see what ends up happening. Either way, you and your brother both filed a restraining order which means he won't be allowed to get near you."

"I'm really scared, Corey," I whisper it because I couldn't muster the strength to say it any louder.

He looks at me and sighs. "I know Clo; I'm scared too."

I let out a heavy breath and rolled over into Corey's side. "I love you,"I say quietly, reaching up to kiss his lips."

"Goodnight Cloe," His voice was low, and I knew he was about to pass out into a deep sleep. "I love you."

He kisses my forehead and almost instantly after, his soft snores and heavy breathing filled my ears.

I look at the ceiling, not being able to sleep because I was too lost in my thoughts. Tomorrow is going to be rough.