To Love Him | ✔

012

Elijah Gracia

I knew this would happen.

Okay maybe not surely but I predicted it. I knew the moment I returned here, the moment I returned home, I'd lose my fucking mind. I'd lose my mind because of someone.

Someone I've haven't seen in years. Someone I've tried to forget and write off my life. Someone incredibly special to me. Sammy Walcott. Its him. Its all him.

I fell back unto my bed looking at the ceilings. Sammy was just next door. He didn't even need to be here to mess with me. How this happened, I can't really tell. He was just my best friend. My best best friend. We were inseparable, somewhere along the line years ago, something changed. My feelings changed.

Back in Louisiana, I tried to steer off this feelings. I was so convinced it wasn't right. I've stories and falling for my best friend was just destined to ruin me and him. I was just twelve and I was so confused, I did what I thought would be the final solution to every damn feelings. I forgot him. After all, I wasn't attracted to other boys, just him. So he was the problem.

I didn't write back. I didn't send a single thing back to Sammy, like I said I would. I didn't know if he had this same feelings as I and if he did, then I wanted him to forget me too. I dated girls. A lot of them. I was desperate to rid my mind of any thing concerning Sammy. It worked, or at least, I thought it did.

But then one time, I saw this really good looking guy take his shirt off and I couldn't stop looking. My mind immediately went back to Sammy. Was he this good looking now? Did his body look like this? Did he have a boyfriend?

The more this thoughts lingered, the more my escapades with girls. I wasn't gay, so I told myself. But then I realized that six years of playing bad boy was all for waste because the second I laid eyes on Sammy, I knew it. I was gay. I was so gay.

"You're not sleeping right?" My mum's voice asked from the other side of the door, following by a soft knock.

I sighed sitting up on the bed, "On a Friday night? Do you even know me?"

The door opened to reveal my mum smiling as she let herself in. "I'm going out with your father and you're going out to aren't you?"

"Yup," I replied standing to my feet. And letting my eyes fall in the two shirts on my bed, "as soon as I figure out which of this to wear."

Mum sighed, "I hope, you're going with someone at least."

"Yes, Sammy."

"Oh, Sammy." Mum says sitting on the bed and crossing her legs, "how are things with him?"

I eyed her warily before replying. "Good, not as before but, we're getting there."

"You still care about him, don't you?"

"Yes Mum, he's still my best friend." I said, although I care about him in a whole different way, much, much more. The unusual silence made me turn to mum and she was looking at me thoughtfully. I frowned. "What is it, Mona?"

She blinked chuckling as she stood to her feet, "Nothing baby. Have fun and take care of Sammy, he's a good kid."

Don't need to tell me twice. I like like him. "Sure mum." I placed a kiss on her cheek. "Have fun too."

"I hope so and wear the black, suits you better."

Heeding my mum's advice, I got dressed minutes later and was already out the porch before anyone can say 'Sammy Elijah'. Sammy wasn't out yet, so I waited by my car.

I'm surprised he even agreed to come to this party, although thankfully not because of Winnie. According to him he usually attended parties, that's the only place to get free booze and he could do with some booze. I didn't understand him but he didn't want to tell, so I didn't press it. I understood that we couldn't exactly go back to how we used to be before. I disappointed him, I failed him. And I'm just glad he let's me spend time with him. That's enough, for now.

I've always been the greedy one. I always want more.

The sound of Sammy's door closing brought me out of my thoughts and I turned to the house with a smile. My smile dropped when I took in the frown on his face, his jaw was practically ticking. I jumped off my hood immediately.

Sammy looked like he was going to slide down the floor but then thought against it. He ran his hand through his face, sighed and got his back off the door, that's when our eyes met. His eyes twitched in what I know to be annoyance but it wasn't directed at me. Then in the blink of an eye, the look was gone and he had a poker face on.

"Hey," He greeted stopping right in front of me. His beautiful blue eyes, looked tired and I just wanted to hug him. To kiss him.

"What's wrong?"

He sighed, like he was hoping I didn't ask that. "My step dad is complaining about falling down." He smiled, "I've had an earful, its annoying."

I know he wasn't telling me the whole truth but I'll have to do with that for now, so I pretended to buy it. I nodded. Then took a step back to check him out, ignoring the raised brow he was directing at me. Beautiful doesn't even justify Sammy. It's too small a word. He's too good looking. The most handsome man I know. And his fashion, his body, his eyes, I just wanted to enter the car with him and not come out till morning. Preferably, my bed.

From his Vans, to his dark pants, to his blue and white strips hoodie and the black jacket over it, then his messy hair. Perfection. There wasn't a single flaw.

"Damn, Sammy, you look good."

He rolled his eyes, not taking me serious. Well, his bad, because I've never been more serious. "Get your senses back, Elijah."

Elijah.

I've always hated my name. It sound so olden and in school many students teased me about it. They called me an old prophet. So I shortened it and went by Eli instead. Sammy still calls me Elijah and I didn't want him to stop. It sounded exquisite coming from him. I loved it. I always corrected him because I knew he'd always call me Elijah afterwards.

"Its Eli and my senses are still here. I know that because I can still smell you and you smell great." I pointed out. I was pushing it but right now. I couldn't help it.

Sammy frowned taking a step forward, "are you taking me to the party or not, Elijah?"

I gulped, "I'm taking you to the party."

His lips twitched but he held in the smile, "good." He didn't wait for me before walking away and getting into the car.

I placed a hand over my thumping heart. This is going to be a long night.

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