What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Sixty Six || Chills

Vena's POV

As I stare back at James with the utmost amount of confusion, I don't know what to make of his statement. In the darkness of this small room, I can see faint hope in his eyes.

He can't possibly mean what he's so bluntly saying.

"What?" I question him.

So much shit has happened between James and I and now he's asking this? Wanting this? I have no idea what would incline him to believe that I would agree to something like this. It's absolutely ridiculous and absurd.

"I know you heard me."

But did I? I mean did I really clearly hear him? Perhaps so, but I have absolutely no idea what he means by it. If he means exactly what he said, then that is so not going to happen. I mean, really under no circumstance am I going to let that happen again.

"You and I both know that the last time that that happened, it did not end well," I retort.

He nods, a gentle smile presented on his mouth. "Well, to begin with, we were both extremely intoxicated and I know that if I had any clue how that sex went, I could say that it was good, very good. Secondly, I wasn't talking about sex, Vena."

I raise an eyebrow at him, slightly surprised by this revelation. "You want to sleep...?"

He nods, "Just sleep."

To be quite honest, I'm surprised he wants to be around me at all after our fight. On the other side, I think it's a horrible idea. Considering the things that have happened in the last twenty-four hours, sleeping together would not be an intelligent thing to do.

He reaches to touch my leg, but I pull back. "Ven, it's just sleeping, it's no different than the way we started our relationship. And, it's not like I'm trying to get between your legs because you're right, that's not a good idea."

He referring to our little "distraction agreement". It was clear that James had issues with sleeping at that time. Though, I certainly didn't predict that it would lead us here.

I don't reply as I think about it. If he seems to think that having sex is a bad idea than maybe all he's really looking for is to sleep with me, like really sleep.

"Come on, Ven. I can't sleep and you don't seem to be doing too good either."

If he could see me, he'd see such an outraged expression. "That is because of you, don't be ridiculous."

Truthfully, I want him to sleep with me too, but I'm afraid to give in. I'm terrified of losing control once again.

"You're going to leave tomorrow, okay I know this. I wish you wouldn't, but I know you have to and you want to. Just for one night, let me hold you. Please."

Of course, I can't see much, but I can hear the begging and absolute pleading within his voice.

I won't lose control. I refuse to let myself go there. I know how to escape from it. Part of me wants to say no, but that percentage is small, tiny even. The amount of me who wants to let him into my bed is immensely huge and I can't resist the temptation. He's knows this.

"Fine."

I move over and James's jaw drops slightly. He stares back at me as I wait patiently wait for him to make his move to the spot that I've made for him. It's clear that he's taken aback by my insinuation.

He mumbles a syllable under his breath, but it wasn't substantial enough for me to question it. Moving into the space that I have created for him, he pulls the blanket over his legs.