What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Seventy Three || Fear's Trap

James's POV

Understanding fear can be a complicated subject. There are different levels that create the reaction. Fear itself may be the most frightening aspect of all. We go through life trying our absolute damnedest to avoid it, but most of the time that falls apart. Sometimes we walk right into fear's trap and there's no choice but to walk right through it.

As I pull my jacket over my shoulders, I find myself straightening it out. I look down at my boots and then to the sleeves of my coat.

I swear, if I die I am going to be so fucking pissed. The goal is to get Grant and me out of there and back home. Quickly as possible. That is the end goal and that's what I have to think about here. Thinking about the possibility of this being the end of my life can't be in my mind. I refuse to let fear take control.

I sit down on my bed and tie my shoelaces, double knotting them. My gaze traces back to the switchblade sitting on top of my nightstand. When Jason gave me it, I didn't think that I would have to use it, just that it was a precaution, that's all. Though as time begins to catch up to me, I don't think that that is entirely the truth. Arturo and Dominic are my enemies and they know it because I think that I may be theirs.

A knock on the door startles me from my thoughts. A good thing too, I'm only going to trouble myself further. I open the door and Jason walks through, shutting the door before I have the chance to.

"You got the knife, right?"

I nod, turning to face him. He glances around the room before his eyes meet mine.

"You're going to be fine, but you need to wipe that look off your face before you get there. They thrive off—"

"Fear," I finish his sentence.

He nods and stops pacing. "And remember that Dominic is the most irritable out of the two and much more mentally deranged. Don't piss him off because he has no problem coming after you."

I nod as I listen to his advice. I'll do anything to get out of this alive.

"Great, well Kamer is waiting in the car and we'll be out to get you before you know it."

Jason and I walk down to the car through the back way. He tells me that we have to avoid Autumn or anyone else at all costs.

We round the corner of the building and the soft sound of Autumn's pricy car purrs in my ears. Kamer stares ahead as I walk around the car and get into the passenger seat. I shut the door and Kamer glances at me, giving me a tight forced smile. "Ready?"

I look at him with an expression that exhibits such forged peacefulness that I think I may fool him. I don't. Even he knows that this is something that you can never truly be ready for.

~
~

Kamer had to drop me off at a fair distance to avoid any suspicion that someone might have followed me. In my hand is a briefcase with the stupid fucking dirty cash attached to my name.

After a long bloody walk down this gravel road, I finally approach a tall building, at least five stories high.

This is it. This is what I must do and now. I pull my phone out of my coat and look at the time. 5:50.

I take a deep breath before continuing towards the building. I don't know how this is going to end, but I have hopes that it won't completely end in flames. The moment I pull open the heavy metal door, fear rises in my throat. I can't be afraid.

The heavy door slams behind me and almost immediately, a husky guy points his huge gun at me. "Who the fuck are you?" He demands.

I swallow hard. "James— James Henderson."