Asking Myself

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They asked me to dream big
But look where that got me
Dream big?
What does that even mean?

They asked me to be honest
But look what I have become now
Honest?
I've forgotten what it means

They asked me to never give up
But look, I've already given up
Never give up?
How can I not give up?

They asked me to always smile
But look I've learn't how to fake it
Smile?
Show me how to smile please

They asked me to speak out
But never gave me the chance to
Speak out?
How do I do that?

They asked me to always stay on top
But look where that got me
Stay on top?
It doesn't matter anymore, I gave up

Now these thoughts
Only make me laugh at myself
Look what I've become
I've never wanted to be this

I scream
At myself
Asking myself to wake up
Begging for help

Wanting to be pulled out
Wanting to be held
Wanting the answers
But to no avail

Feeling myself drowning
I try to remember
How to swim
But why can't I remember ??

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