Why am I living? [[Completed]] ✓

An Alteration In Events

CHAPTER 3; AN ALTERATION IN EVENTS

"Seriously?" I tried to contain all my emotions. For someone who didn't seem sad that day, that was unexpected. Maybe he was just good at hiding his feelings.

"Yeah..." Alen trailed off. I felt sad for Amberley, but strangely happy at the same time.

It is a bit weird, considering she was a very nice person, but then again he was my crush. That has to mean something.

At that point, I didn't even know how to feel.
"Oh." Was all I managed to say.

"How do you feel?" Jasmine asked. "I feel bad, but happy at the same time." I sighed.

"I mean—I guess—I don't really know." I continued. "We understand, Meryem." Alen gave her a small smile.

To be honest, for us it wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal, but like I said, she was a very nice person. I mean she even gave off that kind of vibe.

"I feel bad for being happy, but I can't really control it. I shouldn't even be feeling that way." I took a deep breath. Why was this affecting me so much?

"It's called being human." Alen said. "Yeah," Jasmine agreed with her. "You like him and like you said yourself, you can't control how you feel. It doesn't really make it a bad thing." She assured me.

"Yeah, I guess I just feel bad for her, you know?" I shrugged. "As much as it kills me to say it, they looked very happy together." I kept an expression-less face.

"Just don't worry too much about it—it's not that cruel." Alen told me, trying to cheer me up. I just nodded.

I said goodbye to them and started walking back to my house. They were right—even though Amberley was very nice, (considering I just met her not too long ago) it's just life and all we have to do is move on.

On the plus side, Jason was free. Meaning, by some weird miracle, he could be with me. Of course, only if—and that's a huge if—he finds me somewhat worthy.

•••

The Crescent of reading was not that bad. I guess I was okay in explaining everything. I don't know, but I haven't read that many books I'm not even sure if I could go. They are going to announce it pretty quick—just right after lunch.

We were sitting at a different table this time, in the far side of the cafeteria. "Well, any updates on Jason?" Jasmine playfully nudged me.

"Nothing worth screaming for." I replied. "It's progress, you're going to get there." Alen said firmly. "I wish." I sighed. I wish that I'm better than what I am now, because I'm too ugly. And I'm not very smart either.

"What are you talking about?" Alen asked. "You don't need to wish—you're going to get there." She stated. "It's a fact if she says it is." Jasmine shrugged playfully.

"Thanks." I laughed. "And you're going to get there with Kian as well." I told Alen. Alen smiled widely at the thought of him.

"And I'll be with my books, so lonely." Jasmine sniffed in a frolic manner. "Nah, I'm just kidding, I got 10k." She giggled.

"Who is mine." I smirked. "Think again." Jasmine winked. "I feel so left out." Alen laughed.

"Well, she has Jason." Jasmine smiled. "Just thank us on the day that you and Jason get together." Alen clapped her hands.