Broken Love [COMPLETED BUT EDITING]

Chapter 21: The Wedding

The song above really helps the mood of this chapter. 

My cousin's wedding approached faster than I thought.

Soon the week had arrived, and family started pouring into my house. My house had always been the one to house the many family members I had despite its small size. It was great though. I loved every moment of these functions.

The wedding itself was beautiful, filled with memories I'm sure would be reflected upon more than once. It was one of the few times most of family was together without any arguing or fighting. Vani was lucky. The man she was marrying, Karan was so happy to marry her. Throughout the entire wedding, he didn't stop smiling. Of course the processions were long. 

But I think the hardest part was watching Vani walk into the temple, with my uncle. She was wearing a traditional yellow Indian sari. I couldn't tear up though. I was a bridesmaid for god's sake. And plus, the diya I was holding would probably go out if tears fell into its flame. 

My cousin was getting married. All weekend I kept repeating that in my head. Until I had to correct myself and say that she was married. It was shocking. 

I slowly realized all my cousins were growing up. They were getting married, having kids, and slowly growing apart. And that was what scared me the most. My family was practically held together by my father. They all had problems with each other, but no one dared disrespect my dad. They listened to him, despite the fact that he wasn't the eldest. He was number 7 of 11. 

To see 17 of my 20 first cousins was really touching. We laughed, talked. They danced like crazy. My older cousins loved to intimidate Karan. It was so funny. And even I couldn't help but pick on him. 

At the reception, my dad was the MC. He told Karan that if he did anything to hurt Vani he would have to deal with him and the other uncles. I couldn't help but laugh. To me, my dad wasn't intimidating, just strict. A quality I appreciated. If he wasn't who he was, I wouldn't be the person I am.  

The entire weekend filled me with a sense of contentment, santosh. To be surrounded by love and happiness did wonders for me. I hadn't felt this good in a long time. 

Watching Vani and Karan make me yearn for something similar. I knew that James and I could never have that. But the way Karan acted reminded me of Prem, even if I wasn't sure how I felt about him. His features, his personality was so similar. And his smile...it was a smile I had only ever seen on Prem's face. 

I tried not to focus on my confused life. I spent my time focusing on my family. Even if I spent my time running around, helping to make sure everything was proper, I enjoyed it. I was happy to simply see everyone together. Because one of my strictest beliefs was that my family was my faith.

There's this feeling of wholeness, of contentment that can't be found anywhere else. The moments and bonds you share with your family can't be replaced by anything else. I guess I'm just saying that because since I was little I've been exposed to such bonds.

Most large families never see each other except at functions. But mine is so different. We will fight and curse each other out. But in moments of need we are there for each other. We show up at each other's house, not warning or calling ahead.

It doesn't matter because we are family. It doesn't matter. It reminds me of my culture, of who I am at heart no matter how lost I am.