Broken Love [COMPLETED BUT EDITING]

Chapter 33: Something Else

I hope you didn't forget about Prem...

Sarah and I were talking 

S- ugh I wish max liked me

M- he said ur mad pretty

S- I still don't believe u

M- ugh

S- ya kno ik u hate Edward but he looks out for u

M- what

S- in English when he saw how said u were bc J is leaving he asked whats up with u

M- lie

S- nah.

M- I have to hate him bc if not my feelings will come back for him...

S- oh damn but u love j right?

M- yea but u never stop loving someone even if he hurt u

S- pick a new guy. a perfect guy instead of these two

M- Matthew..

S- thats a sexy name

M- he has a sexy voice

And just as I sent that I received a notification from Prem (aka Matthew thats his American name.)

My heart stopped as I opened the message. 

P- guess who finally confessed to his girl

M- no way

P- ikr I went up to her and told her n she was like ik it was obvious n I was like shit. but she said she liked me back

M- ahhhh im so happy for u

P- I have this cheesy smile on my face all day

M- awww details

And he just gushed about it to me. I was so happy. This was the first time in months that he'd texted me first. Sometimes I feel like he just forgets about me. But then these moments happen and I'm reminded that he needs my friendship as much as I need his. Just like that conversation we had a few months ago about his depression and his loss of faith. 

He didn't tell anyone about it, but me. I wonder why I feel so afraid when I feel like our friendship is one-sided because it's not. 

Is it wrong to feel like this when I have James? Is it wrong? I really hope not. I mean James is new to my life compared to Prem. Prem had been there for years. Ok we didn't start going into deep convos until a year ago but still. Prem is a part of the bigger part of my life, the part that shows people who I am. The family-oreinted, religious Meera. 

But I guess my mind just wants a different, easier crush. I love James but he's leaving. We couldn't have lasted anyways. I would've had to break up with him at some point. 

But Prem might have been my past, and he might be my future, but he isn't my present. James is. James is the one who hugs me when I'm sad. He's the one who pushes me to tell him why I'm hurting, why I'm happy. He's the one who turns to me with his problems. 

I might love Prem, but I'm in love with James. I love his flaws, his shyness, his laugh, his smile, his voice, his smell. Everything about him just drives me crazy. 

I just wish I didn't feel sad that he's leaving. I wish I could just be happy to see him and not have to think this is one of the last times we see each other. But what's a love story without obstacles right? We will prevail, we always find a way.