Knight

d

Wiping my greasy hands I discarded the empty bag of chick fil a. Pulling out the envelope I took out the next page.

Letter 2
Side 1

Two weeks it took two weeks for Knight to get swept up into the hierarchy he was born to rule. His family name, varsity football status, and his absolutely gorgeous face got him a seat at the top. Many would kill to stand where he stood but from his point of view it only brought him further from what he wanted. And what he wanted was sitting across the cafeteria alone with her nose in a book. Michel, a boy he had met during tryouts was sitting next to him. Both made varsity as freshman and they had a number of classes together. Michel had quickly noticed his new friend was distracted. He had been distracted for two weeks looking at the same girl that carried his attention in their biology class.

He couldn't understand why he was so hooked on one girl. Especially when all the blonde cheerleaders were practically throwing themselves at him. Literally. "Oh, I'm sorry Knight I didn't mean to fall on you like that," A girl said. "Its fine," He said picking up her scattered things. "Amber, my names Amber," She introduced. He nodded dismissing her, his eyes wandered back across the cafeteria. "Dude," Michel called out. "That was Amber fucking Shaw," He said. Knight looked over at him unimpressed. "She's a senior? Sexy as fuck and throwing her self at you," He said. "Yeah," He said monotonously eyes still stuck on the girl.

"Alright," Michel said sighing. "Who is she?" He asked. "Who?" Knight said turning red. "The girl, the one you've been gawking at for fifteen minutes," Michel clarified. "She's uh, shes my neighbor," He said. "Just your neighbor?" Michel asked. "Yeah, I mean for now at least," He said. "What's her name?" Michel asked. Knight looked over with his eyes glazed over. Dazed and heavy they carried something that struck fear into Michels heart.

Love.

"Clara," He said. Her name rolled out of his mouth like velvet. It had weight to it, meaning. Even the way his body calmed at the sound of her name only frightened Michel more. Love was something young boys like him shouldn't be dabbling in. Love was toxic, it was too much responsibility for Knight. So in his opinion he was only trying to help. "Ew, ugly name for an ugly girl," He said.

Knight looked over at his friend in question. Surely he was seeing the same thing he was. A stunning figure glowing in the distance. And fuck her name, saying it gave him chills.

Clara

The only thing he would ever need.

I scoffed. If Knight wanted to be with me he would've. Looking over at the window I saw his mother in his room. She was looking at a photo of her son when he was young. Hugging the picture frame she started sobbing uncontrollably.

Her eyes flicked over and met mine. I quickly ducked my head down hoping she didn't see me but she clearly did. I heard the window across mine slid upward. "Clara?" She called out. Slowly poking my head back up I greeted her. "Hi," I said. "Good thing I saw you, I was just about to come over," She said. "Would you come to the hospital with me?" She asked. Baffled I didn't know what to say. Seeing my confusion she began to explain, "The doctors think they can use emotion and familiar voices to pull him out of the coma," She explained. "I think having you there might do some good," She finished. "O-Ok," I said.

"Is your mother home?" She asked. "No, she gets off at eight, but my dads taking a nap," I said. "Don't wake him I know how hard those night shifts can be," She said. She was right, as soon as my father got home from work he was out like a light. An earthquake could happen and he wouldn't even notice.

"Ill meet you down stairs in a bit," She said. Putting the pages back and hiding them in my dresser I went to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I barley recognized myself. I was only seventeen but it looked like I had aged ten years. My stomach was bloated, Starry was right I hadn't been taking care of myself. Since Knight screwed me over everything had been a mess. Once again I had been alone. Splashing water on my face I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys. I didn't know if I could handle seeing him right now. Not after seeing that ring, it felt like all the emotions I had kept bottled up were now spilling everywhere.

Exiting the house I saw Knights mom entering her slick black BMW. I wasn't even sure if I could survive this car ride. Especially now I know that she read about what happened between me and Knight. Sliding in the passenger seat I tried to relax myself. The women almost lost a son, I needed to stop worrying about myself.

"I'll ask you again, what was going on with you and Knight?" She asked. "That window, it started it all," She said. "He felt connected with you because of your crying. He heard you and it helped him," She said. "Tell me, what drives a person to be so sad?" She asked. "Does your mom know? That you-" She stopped herself. "Did you know about Knight," I retorted. Sighing she sensed her over stepping. "Please, just don't do what he did," She said. "Its not worth it, it will never be," She added. Looking out the window I bit my tongue, there was no way I was gonna last this whole trip. Parking near the front we got out and made our way to the entrance.

We took the same elevator up to his floor. Quiet as usual I followed the sound of her clicking heels into his room. "Hi Dr. Lang," She greeted. "Checking his vitals for the day, making sure he's doing fine," He explained. "This is Clara, the one I was talking about," She said. "Ahhh, the girlfriend," He said. "Well like I said, try speaking to him but don't expect any miracles," He said. Nodding I finally allowed myself to look over at him. I felt myself starting to hyperventilate. "Excuse me I need to go to the bathroom," I said. My bones were heavy with emotion. He looked so dead, it made sick to my stomach. Opening the bathroom door I tried to slow down my breathing.

I began to cry. I couldn't deal with it all. Knight had tried to kill himself. He had left me his ring so I would be taken car of. His fucking ring? He used me, he never wanted me so why was everyone acting like he did. Why are these pages telling me a story that wasn't true? Why was I feeling like I was gonna loose my mind? Part of me was afraid to see him. The other part was afraid that he might actually wake up. That I would be forced to deal with it, with him. I was in no shape to speak to him. Not with my heart balancing in the air.

I really didn't want him to wake up. Fuck, I'm so fucking selfish. His family needs him and here I was afraid of dealing with my heartbreak. So afraid I wanted him to stay asleep. The least I could've done was talk to him no matter how I felt. But fuck it hurt, it hurt so much. I was burning from the inside out and nobody knew. There was no way I could do this.  

"Mrs. McLain?" I called out entering the room. "I can't do this," I said. Looking at my wet face and shaky hands her eyes softened. "That's okay, Ill take you home," She said.

Looking at his sleeping figure one last time I left the room.