Knight

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I had spent the afternoon going through page after page. So far each one had been different times where we had interacted. I was dreading having to turn the page because I had already known what it was about, the winter formal. The winter formal in freshman was the third worst night of my life.

Sitting on the living room sofa I sucked it up. It was mid afternoon on a Saturday. The house was empty and I had nothing to do. Well except read the pages.

Sucking it up I flipped the paper.

Letter 5
Side A

The winter formal. It wasn't really winter in Arizona but they could pretend. Decorations littered the school and tickets were going out fast. "Two tickets please," Clara said. Her and her new friend had decided to buy them together. Dia was a girl in her math class, one day they were forced to be partners and ever since then they hit it off. Dia had made a couple friends already but they were more than happy to accept Clara into there group. Christopher and Layla, both were amazing people. "It'll be twenty five dollars please," The girl behind the counter said. Handing her the money they got there tickets and went to join there other friends.

Knight was at his locker watching them. Cory was holding onto him like her life depended on it. She couldn't help to notice his attention was on the same girl he always looked at. "C'mon, won't you go to the winter formal with me?" She asked. Knight continued to ignore her. Flicking him in his chest she caught his attention. "Won't you?" She asked again. "What?" He asked. "The winter formal," She said pointing to the booth. "Yeah, I wanna go," He said. "Great, you'll have to match my dress though," She said. He sighed in realization, she was asking him to go with her, not if he wanted to at all. Well now he was stuck with a date. Either way he was planning to make a move of Clara. Date or not.

Was it shitty? Yeah, but Cory imposed herself in every aspect of his life. She invited herself to dinner at his house, partnered up with him in every class they had together, she even wore his clothes. Every time he would put his foot down she would cry and Knight was just to good of a guy for that. He just didn't have the heart to push her away any harder than what he was currently doing.

Paying for his ticket he made his way to his English class. A class he shared with Christopher. "Hey," He said to his only guy friend that wasn't on the team. "What's up!" He said excitedly. "Woah, whats got you so excited?" He said sitting down beside him. "This fucking dance, I mean it might seem lame but I heard from some sophomores that it's basically a grind fest," He said. "Tell me your going," He asked. "Yeah, just bought my ticket," Knight replied. "So I take it you and your girlfriends are going," He teased. Christopher often got teased for having all female friends, he never minded though. "Haha, your just mad cause I got more girls around me than you," He said. "Please, there just your friends. I got all the girls in the school," Knight replied.

"Fuck off, don't act like your not tied down," He asked. "Knight and Cory sitting in a tree," He began teasing. "Tied down my ass," Knight said. "Ill show you how tied down I am at the dance," He said. "Alright, bet" He finished.

-

The night of the dance was a cool Saturday night. Knight had worn a slick black suit. He looked absolutely delectable. Most freshman boys looked baggy in there suits unable to fill them out. But not him, a muscular frame and six foot height put others to there knees. His dark hair was gelled to the best ability but a few strands popped out completing his look.

The boy was fine.

He was ready to make a move. Giving in his ticket he walked in to the beautifully decorated gym. It was dark with the only light being the disco ball on the ceiling. This was a grind fest, the chaperone ratio to students was off by a hundred kids. Chaperones collected at the sidelines not even bothering to intervene. Seeing Christopher he walked up to his friend. "Look at you!" Christopher said. "And no Cory, nice job," He said. "C'mon," He said gesturing. They walked towards the crowd. "These are my friends. Layla and Dia," He said. "Oh and Clara," He said pointing to the girl who was approaching them.

Clara had been wearing a black off the shoulder body-con dress. Mesh black flowers embroidered the borders of the dress. Her hair was pin straight and slicked back. Matching block heeled shoes that laced up. She was stunning. As for Knight, he couldn't move. Eyes stuck on her physic and gorgeous face. "Oh hi Knight!" She greeted. "He's my neighbor!" She told her friends. "Hey," He said nervously. Christopher smirked as he watched Knight McLain loose his words at the sight of his best friend. Now or never he thought, the music turned slow as they switched on some r&b classics.

"Do you wanna dance?" He asked. Smiling brightly, "Yeah," She said.

Slow dancing felt more intimate to him. Sure grinding would've been nice and he was planning to do that right after. But for now? He was gonna pull her close and sway to the rythme.

My love do you ever dream of
Candy coated rain drops?

She smiled up at him with her arms around his neck. Pulling her waist tighter against him Knight got lost in the feeling of her body against his.

Have you ever loved someone so much
You thought you'd die
Giving so much of yourself

Soon eyes clouded around them. As if in a fairytale the spotlight hit. Now they were the center of attention.

My love do you ever dream of
Candy coated rain drops
You're the same my candy rain
My love did you ever dream that it could be so right

She laid her head on his chest as they continued to sway. It was so intimate even though the whole school was watching.

I never thought that I would find
All that I need in life
All I want, all I need
Now I know, I know
I found it in you

As the song ended they stared in each others eyes. Once the music had gone back to its original fast pace Clara was pulled aside by her friends. Questions being thrown as to what they has just witnessed was. Trying to get away she excused her self to the bathroom.

Knight waited twenty minutes for her to come back. But she never did. He stepped out into the hallway and was greeted by a crying Cory. "Shit are you okay?" He asked. "Can you just take me home?" She asked. "Have you seen Clara?" He asked. "Fucking shit! You embarrass me in front of everyone and now your looking for her?" She asked. "She's gone," She said. "What did you do?" He asked. "You asked me to the dance, why did you do it if you were coming for her?" She asked. Knight felt bad. "Just take me home," She asked crying. This was his fault he should've been clear with Cory first. "Look Cory, I didn't mean to hurt you," He said.

"I like someone else," He said. Looking down she nodded. "Friends?" He asked. "Friends," She agreed.

Tears rimmed in my eyes. A page full of fucking lies. That night had been tucked away in the deepest corner of my brain. She had ruined what was supposed to be a beautiful moment. I had completely forgotten about the dance we shared and how amazing my friends looked. All I could remember was what she had said to me in the bathroom.

"You fucking whore," Said a screechy voice. Cory Summers leaning against the bathroom wall with tears in her eyes. "I thought we were friends, you helped me out in our cooking class," She started. "But it turns out you just wanted to steal my boyfriend," She said.

Boyfriend?

"Knight is mine, he likes me, he takes me out on dates, he fucks me," She spit. "Your fucking deranged if you think he likes you," She said. "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Disgusting, you should be ashamed," She said. "What kind of monster tried to take peoples boyfriends?" She asked. "I-Im sorry," I said.

"Your sorry doesn't mean shit," She said. "Your an awful person, you make me sick," She said. "How does anyone tolerate being around such a useless thing like you," She said. 

"Fucking kill yourself," She finished.

Running out of the bathroom I called my dad. He showed up within five minutes and picked me up. He tried to make sense of the words spilling out of my sobbing self.

I remember that day clear as ever. It was the first time I had actually thought of suicide as an option. I still wondered how such an amazing evening went so down hill. A few words were enough to keep me down for weeks.

My chest pounded with the familiar feeling of worthlessness. I hadn't felt this bad since...

It wasn't worth remembering, nothing I ever did was.