Knight

m

Dear Clara & our baby,
    I am sorry. Sorry that I couldn't be there for you. Sorry I couldn't be strong enough to fight for you. I'd rather die then be forced to abandon you while I was still alive. This was the only way, please understand.

    I know I hurt you and your mother. But trust me it was for the best. Just know that I will always love the both of you. It may look like what I did was to get away from you both but that's not the case. I swear.

Maybe in my next life I'll be able to watch over you. Better than I could have here. It's not your fault I did what I did. Please don't think it is. Its been a long time coming, My life was meant to come to an end this soon. My existence had been nothing but pain until I met your mother. Every fiber in my being revolved around Clara Johnson. I loved her deeply, she's the only one I ever felt whole with. Although their are things I cannot explain or things I will not share please know that its for the best.

I changed the name on my trust fund to Clara Johnson. I want you both to be okay. Please

Please be okay

love, Dad

The letter was messy. Filled with eraser marks and chicken scratch handwriting. If you looked closer you could see...tear drops?

"It doesn't make sense," I muttered. "W-What is he saying? W-Why c-couldn't he be with me?" I began crying. "Clara, I don't know. But I told you, he loved you. He cared for you and your baby. He even gave you his trust fund," She said. "What?" I felt dizzy. Why was everything so hazy?

So many missing pieces.

It was like...

It was like something was terribly wrong. It was like something happened

something happened and I don't know what.

The day I told Knight I was pregnant he said nothing, he ran out of my room and completely ignored me for two months. He had done a complete one eighty and showed me he never cared.

"Look, its just not gonna work out, the idea of a baby-its-I can't even think about that right now. I dont need the stress,"

He said that to me when I finally got him to speak to me. He broke my heart and acted like it was nothing, like me and our child were burdens. Two weeks after that I got called to the hospital and found out he tried to kill himself. What was I supposed to think?

But its clear to me now that something had to be missing.