Knight

n

"So pages fifth-teen and up aren't even properly numbered?" I said. "Yes, I told you there's a shift," Starry said. "Then how do you know all the pages are here?" I asked. "What? Don't be ridiculous, I was the one who found them remember? Thats how I got a hold of the letter to the baby," She said.

She was right. She was the one who found him. What reason would Starry have to hide pages? Did she have her own secrets?

"Tell me about your family," I asked.

He head snapped foreword. Eyes glossy. "My family? Why? Wanna know why Knight was so fucked in the head? Even from the beginning?" She said trying to play it off. I nodded. She looked me in the eye. "Did Knight ever tell you how our parents met?" She asked. "Uh-art class? art replication something like that," I said. "Yeah, thats a lie. Its the story were suppose to tell people to make it seem like our parents are really in love," She said. "What?" I asked. "Yeah, our mother got our names from a pinterest board of cute baby names," She said. "Why? I mean why lie?" I asked.

She scoffed. "Why lie? Is that a real question?" She asked. "What do you know about the McLain's? Like seriously, when you hear our family name what do you think of?" She asked.

Perfection.

A perfect family. Hardworking father with a prestigious job at his families law firm. A stay at home mother who's stunning good looks and blonde hair only become more graceful with age. A daughter who graduated top of her class, was head cheerleader all four years of high school, and is just as pretty as her mother with matching blonde locks. And finally a star athlete son with a stunning face who carried the generational legacy of greatness on his shoulders.

Literally the perfect fucking family. "I think about how much I envied you, your family I mean. I used to cry myself to sleep wishing for a family as perfect as yours," I said. Her eyes began spacing out. "The McLain name holds weight in our town. It has a powerful history that people respect. A name people expect to present itself in some way. For as long as I could remember, the only thing I ever thought mattered was what other people thought about me. Other people's opinions were law in our household. We worked tirelessly to curate that perfect image because it meant so much to us," She said. Looking down she sniffled. "Clara....you don't even know the lengths I have gone-we have gone to protect that image. I-I have done things I am not proud of. My mother has done things, my father.....Knight," She said starting to cry.

What was she talking about? What kind of things did Knight do? "Out of everything I had ever done," She sobbed. "Leaving Knight had to have been the worst. But I had to get out, getting out led me to Ryan. Led me to seek some kind of redemption, some kind of forgiveness," She continued. "The McLain family is not what you know, it's not the picture perfect family you think it is. Its four people striving to protect an image by hurting, beating, and destroying the lives of people around them," She said.

I blinked. What the hell was hiding behind closed doors. "Between the two of us, Knight and me, I was the lucky one. I had a chance to exist in a home built from love. Before my parents became what they are today. But Knight was only learning numbers before everything changed. All he knows is the harsh reality we'd been exposed to all our lives," She began crying harder. "I can still remember the first time I saw that darkness in him. The unforgiving sadness that led him to take his own life," She said.

"Knight! Mom said we have to go!" Starry yelled. She was trying to get his attention. His gaze was occupied by the laughing children in the house across the street. Did other kids laugh like that? What makes them laugh? Can it make him laugh like that too? "Its your birthday party, you can't be late," She added. His sixth birthday, Knight never really liked his birthday parties. It wasn't really for him anyway. Just another excuse for his parents to rub elbows with other pillars of the community. There usually weren't many kids their either. He didn't even know birthdays were supposed to be fun until he went to his classmates party. He got to play laser tag and eat cake. He watched as the other boys ran around freely in a way he did not know. He didn't even have to be told, he knew he couldn't act like that. His mother glancing in his direction the whole party was a constant reminder. "Knight is so well behaved!" Another had mother complimented his mother. "Oh thank you! He takes from his father," His mother said back. Was that what the adults called it, 'well-behaved'?