F.A.F // H2OVanoss [Completed]

Chapter 22

"That was the first time I've ever done that." Jonathan smiled at Evan, who was lost in his happiness, hanging on to every word that came out of Jonathan's mouth as he realized how truly in love he is. "Kissed someone, that is."

Evan smiled. "Me too." He lets Jonathan push him off, scoffing at his comment.

"Don't lie to me Evan, I know you've kissed other people." He looks at Evan sternly, happy that he had eavesdropped on the conversation between Evan and his mom all those days ago. It brought him joy to see Evan so happy after he had been so miserable just a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, I know." Evan continues to smile, getting closer to Jonathan as if he was going to kiss him again. "But," he pulls the boy close "that was the first time I've ever kissed with feeling."

-----

Evan pretended it didn't hurt. He blinked away the feelings that built up in his chest as he looked at his phone, tried to tell himself that it was okay, he knew this would happen.

Jonathan: Evan, look, about what happened on Friday

Jonathan: I think that we should just be friends

Jonathan: it was great, but I don't think this is a good choice for either of us

Evan pretended that he didn't feel a thing as he locked his phone and walked out the door, greeting his friends with a smile. He put his phone in his backpack, looking forward to the day ahead of him, leaving his feelings where they belonged, in the back of his head. It was stupid to think that being genuine was going to get him anywhere, that wasn't how he did things, not in the slightest.

-----

"Evan! Can I talk to you?" Jonathan was waiting for the group as they made it to school, running up to Evan as soon as he saw him, grabbing his arm with the intention of dragging him away. Evan pulls his arm out of his grip.

"Why?" He didn't mean to snap, but he could never control his feelings around Jonathan, no matter how hard he tried, the genuine emotions always slipped out. "If you want to talk about the project, wait until you see me for English. Better yet, just text me." He continues to walk, ignoring the confused looks from his friends. He didn't need to explain himself, he was allowed to wake up in a bad mood, they wouldn't notice anything.

Jonathan grabs his arm again, this time succeeding in pulling him away. "Evan, I'm serious. About those texts-" Anger flares in Evan, who didn't want to talk about the texts face to face, especially not at school.

"What about them, huh? I get it, Jonathan, okay? Unlike what you may have heard about me, I'm not stupid. Now, leave me alone." He knew he was cold, he knew that this was not the Evan he was supposed to be, but he couldn't help it around Jonathan. Evan pulls his arm away with a force Jonathan had never expected from the boy who was usually so calm, occasionally jumpy, but mostly calm. "I'll see you in English." He smiled at him bitterly as he goes back with his friends.

--

"Evan, you look a little tense." Tyler observes from his seat besides Evan, who was gripping his pencil with the same force he had seen him use this morning when he had pulled away from Jonathan. Evan ignored his friend, taking notes on what the teacher had written on the board as he usually did, acting like Tyler had never even spoken. "Give the pencil a break, dude."

"Shut up." Evan growled, although taking his advice and loosening his grip on the pencil as he continued his notes, trying to make his handwriting look as neat as it could possibly be. Tyler, noticing how Evan's shoulders were still tense, pushed down his lingering worries as he focused on his own notes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get them from Evan later in his current state.

--

The bell rings, Evan won't move, Tyler nudges him, yet he continues to glare at the clock, almost as if it had betrayed him. It takes a couple more minutes, but eventually Evan gets up and leaves without a word, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and not even bidding Tyler a goodbye as he walks to English class.

The bell rings, Evan sits in class with his eyes glued to his laptop, his earbuds plugged into his ears since there was a substitute teacher and their regular teacher had left lesson plans that he had already finished. His anger showed in his writing, Jonathan sat across from him could even sense his anger, although his face was passive, he typed away furiously, and he was too scared to speak to him, so they sat at the table in silence.

The bell rings, Evan shoves his laptop into his bag, Jonathan looks at him, knowing he should speak. "Evan-"

"What? What do you want?" Evan snarls, ripping his earbuds out of his ears and shoving them into his bag as well, his phone jutting out of his front pocket.

"I'm sorry." Jonathan spoke quietly as the substitute left the class, smiling at the two boys as she quickly said to close the door behind them, Evan nodded with another smile. "I'm sorry about those texts, they weren't my idea. I'm sorry." A few tears welled up in his eyes.

Evan brushed them off. "I get it, Jonathan, you don't feel the same way, it's fine. I appreciate you not leading me on." He shoves past the boy who stand in his way, looking back one last time. "Don't apologize for the things you can't control." He smiles, then leaves.

The bell rings, Evan is sitting at the cafeteria table, his head down as he pretends to be asleep, his breathing slowed and his stance relaxed and casual. He had hoped that it would calm down his mood, and avoid anyone from bothering him.

"Hey, Tyler, is Evan okay?" David asks as Tyler returns with his food. Evan forced himself to not tense up, knowing he couldn't give away the fact that he was awake.

"I'm not sure, he hasn't talked to me all day, I bet he's just tired, had a rough night or something." Tyler shrugs, rubbing Evan's shoulder comfortingly, and now he pretends to stir.

"Yeah, Tyler?" He fakes a yawn, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, pretending he had just woken up, he looks at Tyler. "You need something?"

"No, no I don't, Ev, sorry for waking you." Tyler looks at Evan apologetically, not wanting to bring up the morning and that whole confrontation. But the way Evan still looks dejected and miserable tugs at his thoughts, but he still pushes it down. "Really, I am, you can go back to sleep if you want, sorry again." Evan shrugs, going back to his position and soon falling back into his position of fake sleep.

"Um, Tyler?" Jonathan's voice appeared, and Evan kept his calm stance, but he could tell that everyone got a little more tense about him showing up. "I-I don't mean to interrupt, but me and Evan were talking after class and I noticed he l-left his notebook on his desk." A notebook was placed on the table, it was quite loud so Evan pretended to wake up once again. He turned around with another fake yawn. "Evan, I'm really sorry, again."

"Don't be." Evan's voice turned cold at almost the flip of a switch as he turned away from Jonathan, taking the notebook from Tyler and opening it up. He'd seen this trick a hundred times, there had to be a note. He searched the front, back, middle, and gave the book a quick shake before a small piece of paper came out.

I get it, you're upset. I can't change that. I'm really sorry, Evan, but this is the best choice for us. It really is, we need to work on the project, that's what's important here. Believe me, Evan. Trust me.

It didn't sound like something that Jonathan would say, but Evan knew from personal experience that when you were hit with certain emotions at very high dosages, speaking out of character became second nature. Even if they didn't sound like him, it had to be him, and it hurt Evan more than he was willing to admit, more than he was willing to show.

He wasn't upset, he wasn't hurt, no, he just, just- today wasn't his day. That's all. He smiles as he joins the conversation.