Crush (18+)

Chapter 28

Jessie's house was packed and I wasn't surprised. Even though I didn't know Jessie that well, I did know that she could throw a hell of a party. Her house was filled with people my age. There were a lot of faces that I didn't recognize but I also spotted some people I went to high school with or knew from around town.

It seemed that no one had noticed us coming in yet and I was grateful for that. I wanted to stay as low-key tonight as possible. We were slowly but surely making our way to the kitchen since that's where all the alcohol was, but we needed to stop every few seconds for people who wanted to say hi to us. I guess staying low-key wasn't going to happen tonight.

While we were talking with some people I knew from high school, I couldn't help but look around to see if I could spot either Brandon or Mia. From what I knew, Brandon and Mia were probably the two people who hated me most in the world. I could probably add Jocelyn to that list too, even though I wasn't sure how much of the truth she knew.

I felt nervous and I wasn't sure if I wanted to see them or if I wanted to avoid them with all I got. Of course I wanted to make things right. Of course I wanted things to get back to how they used to be but I knew damn well that wouldn't happen anytime soon or ever. Everything was ruined and the only person I could blame was myself. So it didn't really matter if I wanted to speak to Brandon or Mia tonight, because I knew for a fact they had no desire in speaking to me.

I took a deep breathe and cursed myself for going to this party. Luckily for me, Tina dragged me towards the kitchen table and pressed a bottle of vodka in my hand. I raised my eyebrows at her and laughed. "Do you want me to end up in the hospital tonight? I'll just go for wine tonight," I said as I replaced to bottle of vodka for a glass of wine.

"Whatever you want," Tina grinned and she poured herself a red cup full with vodka and she put a little bit of tonic in it for the idea. Wow, she'd make such a great bartender...

Tina and I talked a little bit about the people we've seen at this party and about how a lot of people have changed in these few months, when she suddenly looked around. "Hey, where did your brother go?" she asked and I looked around the kitchen as well. I swear he was with us a few minutes ago. I didn't even notice him leaving.

I shrugged and looked at her, "don't worry about him, he's probably trying to get in some poor girls' pants." Tina laughed but the smile quickly left her face when she looked at something behind me. I followed her gaze and it was as if my heart was pounding in my throat when I laid eyes on him. There he was, casually standing in the kitchen's doorway with some girl I vaguely remembered from high school. 

It took him a few seconds to notice me as well and when he did, I saw how all the blood left his face. I think my face looked about the same as his did right now. Brandon shuffled uncomfortably on his legs as he kept talking to the girl, but not without glaring at me every few seconds. I looked at Tina in panic and she grabbed my arm.

"Just act normal, okay? First let's get out of this kitchen," she said and I couldn't agree more. Just when we wanted to head to the living room, Matthew entered the kitchen and I inwardly moaned. Of course Tina would want to catch up with him first. Matthew walked up to us and I pretended to listen to what he was saying, in the hope that I didn't look as if I was shitting my pants. For a moment I thought about going to the living room by myself but what if I'd run into Mia there? It's just better to wait for Tina.

My first glass of wine was already empty and I blamed it on the nerves. I walked back to the kitchen table and poured some new wine in my glass, when I suddenly felt a figure standing next to me. I didn't have to look up to know who it was. I slowly turned my face to him and looked at him through my eyelashes.

The last time I saw him was a few months ago, somewhere after graduation. We were broken up for a while already but I just needed to talk to him. After he found out, Brandon wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Instead of talking about what happened, he just kept on ignoring me and pretending as if I didn't exist. We needed to talk though, so I went up to his house in the hope he'd hear me out. Unfortunately, that didn't go so well.

Let's just say that Brandon made it loud and clear he never wanted to see me again. I remember how I begged him to let me explain it, even though there actually was nothing to explain. I cheated on him with his father, that's how it was. The way he looked at me with that hatred in his eyes was like seeing a whole other side of Brandon. 

"You're not only a terrible girlfriend but you're a fucking excuse for a human being as well."  These were the words he told me before telling me to never come to his house again. These were also the words that haunted me for the last few months. These were the words that made it clear to me there was no use in trying anymore. 

So why was he standing next to me right now? Did he want to talk? Was he ready to let me say what I had to say?

Brandon still hadn't looked at me and just when I was sure he was about to say something, a girl walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his torso before pressing her lips on his. I wanted to look away but for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

The girl looked at me for a second before she grabbed Brandon's hand. I didn't think she recognized me but I sure as hell recognized her. This was the girl who tutored Brandon when he was failing his classes. What was her name again? Right... Emily.

I wondered if they were dating but the way she had her arms wrapped around him and how he gently stroked her back, told me more than enough. I guess my paranoia from a few months back wasn't totally unjustified. But what did it matter if they dated? Brandon had done nothing wrong because even if he cheated on me, which I doubt he did, I still had no right to be angry.

Brandon and Emily finally walked away but not before he purposely bumped into my shoulder. Once they were out of sight, I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

I had a weird feeling in my stomach and I wasn't sure what it meant. Maybe it was because of the fact Brandon was dating Emily or maybe it was because of the eye-opener that he had actually moved on with his life. Whatever it was, I shouldn't be feeling it. I was supposed to be happy for him, although the truth is that I wasn't. 

I guess it's never fun to see your ex with another girl but in this case it was different. I think I was more jealous of the fact that he actually moved on, while it seemed like I was unable of doing the same thing. For months I had been repeating all of my mistakes in my head and there was nothing I could do to make it better, except from taking my distance. I thought there was going to be a point in my life where I could just move on and leave the past behind me but unfortunately that moment still hasn't happened.

In the meantime, Tina and Matthew had walked up to me and they asked me if I wanted to go dance with them in the living room. I did receive a few worried glances from Tina but I acted like I didn't see them.

"Sure," I nodded and I quickly refilled my drink before I followed them. This was about to be my third drink of the night and I was already feeling pretty tipsy since I was an enormous lightweight but I didn't mind. I liked the feeling of being tipsy, mostly because it made you stop caring so fucking much about the stuff you didn't want to deal with. Especially not when it's Friday night and you're at a party from a girl you barely know.

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what do you guys think of Brandon's behavior towards Valeria?