Naruto Characters X Reader Oneshots

Always the pretty ones! [Deidara x reader (ish)]

To call her anything less than perfect was a disgrace. From her black work shoes that she somehow made pop to the top of her gorgusly shaped head, she was a masterpiece. Deidara almost could call this rocken chick a work of explosively beautiful art. He tensed when she looked up from her customer, but then she just pivoted back to the kitchen. Deidara's cheeks painted red as he couragusly led his eyes down from her hair to her back to her nice, juicy-

"Deidara-sempai~! Are you okay?? Your face is super duper red!" Tobi leaned over the booth table to poke a rose cheek, which he almost lost if he hadn't pulled it away in time.

"Yikes! Yikes! Deidara-sempai almost bit me!" He cluchted his finger with his opposite hand.

"Shut up, yeah?!" He pouted and turned to back to face the doors of the kitchen pleading that if there was a God, he, she, or it (#GodFeminism #GodIsGenderQueer) would let the smoken waitress take their order.

In a few moments the girl who appeared to be 19, give or take a few years, came out of the closet looking kitchen. Aaaand science Joshin wasn't that much of an asshole, or really just wanted Deidara to stop praying so loudly, the woman strolled over to the boys.

"Can I take your guyses orders?" Her smile was like if lady gaga and Beyonce had a child that was secretly an angel.

"Can I have this, pretty please?" Tobi pointed on his menu and the girl hovered over him to look. Her hand brushed against the little shits arm. Deidara was internally screaming. How dare Tobi indirectly touch her. Even if she was the one who made it happen.

"Oh yeah! You like (favorite food) too? That's so cool! It's like my favorite food!" She smiled sweetly at him and the angsty 19 year old almost started drooling.

Then she turned to him and he could feel his heart stop in his chest.

"What can I get for ya?" She turned her head slightly while a pen in her perfect fingers lingered over a partially scribbled on paper. "C-can I get..." oh no. The dumbass was so infatuated with her he didn't even touch the menu. "U-um can I get..." 'say something genius!' He mentally cursed himself. "C-can I..."

"Would you like me to come back later?" She felt a small wave of second hand embarrassment.

"No!" God what was he saying? Maybe Jashin was an asshole after all.
"I'll just have what he's having." He finally sspat out.

"Okay, I'll have that out for you guys in a bit." She didn't say anything fun to Deidara. Only a measly 'okay'. Ugh.

Time passed as Tobi and his bashful acquaintance ate and finally they left the restaurant. As they headed out the door the blonde boy sighed.

"What's wrong Deidara-sempai? You looked down in the gross dirt!" He stopped in front of Deidara to ask.

Deidara just looked away and gave another elongated sigh. "That girl back there, yeah? She was pretty cute, yeah?" An understatement, he thought. "I kinda wanted to ask her out." He looked astray with a red tent surfacing on his cheeks, nose, and ears.

Tobi screamed gleefully which almost broke the hopeless romantic's already red ears. "Deidara-sempai is in love! Deidara-sempai is in love!" He stopped twirling around and grabbed the blue eyed boy by the shoulders and dragged him close. "You must ask her out! Go back tonight when they close!!!"

He was taken back in shock. He was to stupid to think of that at the time. "Yeah...Yeah that's what I was planning to do!" He tried playing it off. "But what time do they close, yeah?"

"5 pm!"

///Time skip because I'm a lazy bitch///

5 pm rolled around and Deidara left the Akatsuki base to ask a special girl out. Deidara even rehearsed how he was going to do it. First pass by the shop wondering if he left his wallet, then when she says no he's going to comment how clumsy he is. She'll laugh and then he'll ask her if she has any big plans tonight. Seeing none he'll ask her out.

Everything was perfect and planned. He quickly approached the diner, it was show time.

She was locking the store up with her delicate fingers and then strode his way. Finally the blonde 'bumped into the girl and quickly apologized.

"Oh man I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was go- hey you work at that restaurant, yeah?" Deidara gestured to the locked doors.

"Oh mh hm," she nodded and then realized that she served him earlier in the day. "Hey your that one guy who came in with Tobi!" She snapped her fingers

"Yeah.. that's me! I was just wondering if you found a wallet, my butter fingers dropped it somewhere but I don't know where,,," she didn't laugh and Deidara had a mild panic attack.

"Oh no I'm so sorry we didn't find any wallets. I hope you find it," he expression was serious.

"Oh-oh well," he scratched the back of his head and shifted his weight across his feet. "That's- that's fine, yeah!"

Her gaze softened, "are you sure?"

"Y-yup!" Was all he could manage. This is not going so great, but it was time to ask the question.

"Well since I'm here, I was just wondering if you had anything to do this afternoon? I-I mean I'm new in town and I don't know what's here!" He corrected himself so it didn't sound like he was asking her on a date, even though he was.

"Oh I'd love to show you around our town but I'm sorry I have a date with my girlfriend."

And in that very moment the world shattered. "Girlfriend," it repeated in his mind. He had zero chance.

After he dragged his feet to his home he plopped down on his bed and started brainstorming ways he could get back at Tobi

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Sorry it was kind of shit! And like 1 thousand words! Also that's guys for your support you don't know what it means.

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