The Eighth One - BTS AU (Mystery/Thriller) | Complete

Chapter 31

Hoseok couldn’t sleep. Events of the past few days kept playing in his head in a loop, over and over again.

If he could reverse time, he would.

If he could just erase those few seconds, he would.

If he could have just not do what he did, he would.

But that was impossible. It had happened. She knew now. She knew he liked her.

She knew he was in love with her.

“I love you...”

His own words echoed in his head. And he hated himself for saying it. If only he had kept his feelings wrapped, his emotions under control.

If he had just kept his stupid mouth shut.

He thought of how her eyes grew wide at his sudden unexpected action and confession. She was shocked and so was he. It wasn’t planned.

He just couldn’t handle watching her in so much pain, thinking that something was wrong with her.

Within the matter of a few seconds they had separated and kept measurable distance between them. Hands off but eyes still on each other.

“I…,” he started but couldn’t complete. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say to make this right?

“I…” he stuttered again.

“I know,” it was she who spoke, “I’m sorry,” she continued as she lowered her eyes and shook her head.

He, however, was confused,” you know?”

“I had doubts. But now I know for sure.”

Shock spread across his face as his mouth fell open.

She had known that he liked her.

He clutched his hair and sat on a nearby step trying to wrap his head around this new information.

“How?” he asked desperately as he looked up at her.

“I don’t know how. I just knew...But Tae doesn’t.”

Tae.

Hoseok felt guilty every time he thought of his friend. His heart squeezed in his chest.

His plan had miserably failed. When he tried being just her friend, he fell for her even more. And somehow she knew. Just like him, even she had pretended to be oblivious to his feelings.

That day they decided to never speak of what happened, ever again. It was an accident. It was a mistake.

Though it wouldn’t have been one if Hoseok had noticed her first. If Hoseok had confessed first.

But he hadn’t.

Even if Tae and she were going to break up soon, what he did was wrong. It ate him alive, gnawing his insides into a mush. It didn’t help that Yoongi kept on asking him what was wrong.

Was I that predictable? He wondered.

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Meanwhile Tae couldn’t sleep either.
He hugged Kookie closer to him. They lay on their sides as he faced Kookie’s back. His grip tightening around Kookie’s waist. He rested his forehead on kookie’s shoulder.

The phone call to Sohyun wasn’t easy. But it was fast. It was as if she knew that he was going to breakup. She didn’t even question him.

Other than forced smiles for mere seconds, they avoided each other at school. And after school, just like 'the pre-Sohyun' period, Tae walked to the Bowl with Kookie.

Kookie had gotten clingier. But he never revealed why he didn’t want Sohyun to be in Tae’s life.

Tae didn’t ask either. All he could think of was the image of a crying Kookie that hugged him like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to see that ever again.

Kookie felt the grip tighten.

He kept his eyes closed not wanting Tae to find out that he wasn’t asleep. He was glad that Tae chose him over her. But felt guilty for not telling him the whole truth.

Well, he kind of did tell him. Only Tae didn’t understand. Tae wouldn’t feel the same way about him as he felt for Tae. He knew that.

He thought back to when Jin had asked him to understand his own feelings.

How did Jin hyung know? He thought.

Was it his attachment with Tae?

His obsession?

His hate for this girl?

His unwillingness to share him with any girl? Or even with Jimin or Hoseok?

Or…

Did Jin hyung notice that he kept his table clean but bed messy just so he could sleep with Tae every night?

To share a single blanket like they did since they were little kids?

Because Tae was his and he was Tae’s?

Silent tears escaped his eyes as truth hit him one after the other. These were things he knew somewhere in his heart but refused to acknowledge over the years. He wasn’t gay. Or was he? He didn’t know.

Images of him and Tae sitting side by side, smiling and laughing flashed into his mind. May be on the front porch, sipping hot coffee. May be in front of the fireplace.

The warm glow of the fire would make Taehyungie hyung look so ethereal…

All he knew for sure was that he was in love with his Taehyung and wanted to grow old with him.