Chapter 43

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When Tae had left for college and Kookie was home, he used to sleep in Tae's bed. For several months, Kookie felt his presence, his touch, his smell in the room.

But when it had started feeling toxic and depressing, he had realised that it was time to get his mind off of his hyung. That was when he had decided to leave town as well.

But ever since they had returned, they slept in their own separate beds. Neither of them knew if the other wanted to do otherwise. Neither of them knew if they themselves wanted to do so either.

After they got home from the lake, they bathe and got dressed. They hadn't spoken a single word to each other. Even at Hoseok's, Tae spend time with Jimin while Kookie stuck by Hoseok like a barnacle on a whale. Tae could feel being avoided by the younger one.

Since Kookie refused to even acknowledge his presence, Tae decided to speak up first.

"What's wrong Kookie?"

Both were in their room. Tae stood beside his bed, drying his hair with a towel, while Kookie was near his desk, his back towards Tae. When there was no response, he asked again.

"Jungkookah, tell me what's wrong? You have been avoiding me ever since we were at the lake!"

He heard Kookie sigh and then say,
"nothing hyung."

Tae just hung his head and sat on his bed,
"Okay..." he mumbled and decided to give up. But he felt lost and his eyes grew wide at what happened next.

"SEE! THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"
Kookie had decided to let it out all of a sudden.

"What?" Tae remained seated on his bed as he looked at Kookie, waiting for more to happen.

"YOU DON'T CARE HYUNG! I'M SEEING YOU AFTER THREE WHOLE YEARS! YOU NEVER BOTHER TO COME HOME OR TALK TO ME! EVEN ON THE PHONE IT'S NEVER MORE THAN A 'HOW ARE YOU?'

AND NOW THAT YOU ARE BACK, I THOUGHT WE'D SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER! THAT EVERYTHING COULD GO BACK TO NORMAL!"

Tae felt a pang in his chest. He stood up and took a step towards Kookie. His hand rose involuntarily to touch the distressed boy.

Out of frustration Kookie pushed it away and continued,
"BUT YOU ARE SO DIFFERENT NOW. YOU HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH! AND NOW YOU HAVE BEEN STUCK TO JIMIN AS IF HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND! NOT ME!"

For some reason, this triggered something in Tae. Within the fraction of a second, things changed. Kookie realised that he might have made a mistake when he noticed this sudden shift.

Tae's raised arm that hung mid-air, shook while he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His hand closed into a fist and he brought it to his side and he released his breath.

"Why do you have to always bring Jimin," he started with a muffled voice,
"INTO EACH AND EVERY ARGUMENT?!"

But ended with a raised one as he threw the towel that was on his shoulder onto the floor with force.

This was a side of Tae that Kookie had never seen before.

"WHY ARE YOU SO INSECURE? WHY HAVE YOU GROWN SO POSSESSIVE? YOU ARE ALWAYS AFRAID THAT I'LL LEAVE YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE!

I GAVE UP MY GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU, NO QUESTIONS ASKED! NOW YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE MY FRIENDS? WAS I NOT WITH YOU 24*7 SINCE CHILDHOOD?"

Kookie was dumbstruck. It was when the yelling paused that Kookie realised, Tae was actually asking him that question.

"Or is that the reason for all this?" Tae asked in an almost whisper.

That however was less of a question and more like a self-realisation to Tae.

After standing idle for two seconds lost in his thoughts, Tae immediately turned towards his almost unpacked bag from college and started picking out a few clothes while Kookie replayed what Tae said over and over in his head.

This was the first time that Tae had shown his frustration over giving up Sohyun. Kookie hadn't known that Tae had felt so horrible about it on the inside, while on the outside he seemed fine.

He returned to reality when he saw Tae stand at the door, a bag hung over his right shoulder and one hand on the bedroom door. His vision shook as Tae spoke.

"I can't stay with you tonight. I need time to think. We'll meet at Hoseok's tomorrow."

Without meeting eyes with Kookie, he slid open the door and walked out.

Kookie immersed his face in his hands as he sat on Tae's bed, cursing at himself.

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