Six

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Jimin felt like a lightning bold was rushing through his veins. He had never skipped school before, this felt really exciting! He looked at Namjoon who was giving him and encouraging smile. "Come on, hurry up before one of the teachers sees us!"

Jimin hadn't even thought about that and he suddenly felt the excitement sink away and be replaced by an all consuming panic. Oh no! What had he done. He can't be missing school. What if they'll call my parents?

Namjoon saw the freightened look on Jimin's face. "Hey! Don't worry. I got you, I'll write you a note immediately so you can hand it in first thing tomorrow." Namjoon smiled at him, making Jimin feel a lot less worried. "So where are we going?" Jimin asked.

"Let's go to the park! I love it there and it's quiet so we can talk about what got you crying just now." Jimin blushed a little remembering the state he was in when he bumped into Namjoon in the bathroom.

They walked to the park in silence. Jimin was thinking about how he was going to explain what had just happened at school.

How am I supposed to put into words what I am feeling when I am not even sure what I am feeling? And how will I even be able to say these thoughts out loud when I haven't even been able to come to terms with them myself?

Jimin was feeling more and more anxious the closer they got to the park. Namjoon had noticed that the shy boy had been even more quiet than usual. "Hey, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. You know that right?" Namjoon assured with a comforting voice. Jimin nodded. "Just talk whenever you're ready."

They walked side by side in silence for at least another 15 minutes. "You know I've never told anyone", Jimin started speaking just loud enough for Namjoon to hear. Namjoon remained silent just shooting him a reassuring look.

"It just always felt like it would be easier to not talk about it. To just pretend it wasn't true." Jimin stared at his feet, too uncomfortable about the whole situation.

"To pretend what isn't true?" Namjoon looked at him with the most heartfelt look on his face, making Jimin feel ready to finally say the words. "To pretend that I am not gay."

He looked at Namjoon, a guy that he had only met a few weeks ago but had just told the most personal thing about himself. "Ahh, I see. And let me guess, you like that new boy. What's his name again?" Namjoon smiled a tender smile.

"Yoongi. Yes, I like him." Jimin confessed looking down at his feet again. "But he doesn't like me back. I thought he might, but after this morning I know he doesn't." Jimin felt the tears filling up his eyes again, blurring his sight.

"What happened?" Jimin sniffed, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. "H-he he just" Jimin couldn't finish his sentence because the tears stared to stream down his face when he thought back to the image of Yoongi's raging eyes.

"Hey, calm down." Namjoon put his hands around Jimin's shoulder pulling him into a hug. The younger boy let it happen and started sobbing, clinging on to his new friend.

When Jimin had calmed down a bit they sat down at a bench next to the pond. "So tell me about Yoongi, you don't have to talk about today if you don't feel like it. Just tell me what he's like." Namjoon said.

"Well, he's really smart even though he thinks he's not. He loves to read, like me." Jimin smiles thinking about the afternoon he had spent with Yoongi.

"He has beautiful hands. When he talks they move to his words like some kind of rhythm, and it's the most mesmerizing thing I have ever seen." Jimin flushes a little thinking about Yoongi's sensual hands.

"He's actually really shy, even though he act's tough in front of everyone. He can't take a compliment without blushing and getting all embarrassed about it."

"He sounds like a great guy, Jimin." Namjoon's voice pulls Jimin out of his thoughts. He had lost himself in the memories of the diner, forgetting he was sitting on a bench talking to Namjoon.

"Yes he is", Jimin smiled a sad smile. "What are you so afraid of Jimin?" Namjoon asked, sincerely caring for the younger boys troubles.

"Everything. What my parents will think, what my friends will think and most of all what Yoongi will think. After today it is clear he sees me as nothing more than a classmate who helps him with his homework. He probably will never talk to me again if I tell him how I feel."

Jimin feels the tears welling up again. "So? You're just gonna do nothing." Jimin is surprised by the suddenly harsh tone in Namjoon's voice.

"I mean, what good will it do if you just keep hiding who you are?" "I wouldn't get hurt", Jimin replied quietly. "You mean this isn't what hurt looks like?" Namjoon says gesturing at Jimin's puffy face and red eyes.

Jimin looked down. "I don't even know if gay is really what I am. I mean I don't see myself as gay." Jimin sighed, "I don't know how to explain it. It's just that I don't feel like I would fit in."

Namjoon looked at him sceptically. "Do I look like a typical gay to you?" Jimin looked back up at Namjoon, hesitating not knowing how to answer the question.

"Jimin, look at me. There is no such thing as a typical gay man. Yes, there is a stereotype but the most gay men I know don't fit that image at all! It's more about accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are even if that isn't what people expect you to be."

Jimin knew he was right, but how could he find the courage to admit to himself that this was who he was and that it was okay.

Namjoon saw the struggle in Jimin's eyes. "Jimin it's okay to take your time. You have taken such a big step by telling me today, Rome wasn't build in a day is what they say right?" Namjoon smiled at him.

"Come on, let's go to my house. I am absolutely starving!" The boys stood up and started walking to the exit of the park.

Even though Jimin's problems weren't solved and he still felt far from ready to come out to everyone there was a kind of relief. He looked at Namjoon feeling like he was blessed to have met someone like him.

***

I like writing about their friendship. I feel like Namjoon would actually react like this. He is just so sweet. If you like this story so far please leave a vote and comment, I love hearing what you think!

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