Dan Howell imagines

Insecure (TW?)

Quick A/N- idk if this would be considered a trigger warning but I put it in the title with a question because of that reason. The reader does have depression in this one and does have thoughts about how they look. Tbh I'm not sure what to call it so I just called it insecure. Hope you like :D

'I'm gonna take a bath' I tell my boyfriend dan who is sitting on his bed on his laptop.
'Alright love' dan smiles. I open and close the bedroom door after getting some fresh clothes for after the bath. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the faucet in the tub. The cold water pours out and some drops go onto my skin causing goosebumps. I turn the handle over to the red meaning hot. I turn around and start to undress. I sigh as I look in the mirror in front of me.
Why can't I just be pretty?
Why do I have to be so big?
Why can't I have a flat stomach like the models on instagram?
I turn around and check the temperature in the tub. When it's to my liking, I turn the water off. Before I get in I grab a bath bomb from on the shelf. I step in and put the bomb in the water and watch it sizzle. As I'm watching it sizzling I keep hearing the voices in my head telling me how ugly and fat I am. I don't know how to get them to stop. After the bath bomb dissolves I sit back and close my eyes.
My mind starts to drift again. I snap out of it when I hear a knock on the door though.
'(Y/N)? It's dan. Can I come in?' He asks from the other side of the door. I sit up a bit and bring my legs up to my chest. I try to hide my body behind my arms and legs.
'Yeah' I say quietly. The door knob turn and opens. A tall, curly haired dan comes in with a smile on his face.
'Hello love' he says still smiling.
'Hi' I say quietly again. Dan crouches down beside the tub. He looks at me with worrying eyes.
'Are you alright? You've seemed kinda down today' I just nod in response looking at the water. 'Are you sure?' He asks again.
'I don't know' I say looking at him. He gives me a little frown in response.
'What's wrong?' He asks putting his hand on the edge of the tub. I sigh and look back at the water.
'I'm just tired' I say. Dan stays quiet for a minute.
'Would you like to talk about it?' He asks. I think for a second. I put my hand on his and intwine our fingers together. He rubs his thumb over my wet knuckle.
'I'm just struggling today. The voices in my head won't leave me alone. I don't know what to do' I whimper as my eyes get watery.
'Can you tell me what the voices are saying?' He quietly asks. He gives my hand a squeeze to comfort me.
'They're-they're asking why I'm so fat...a-and why I'm not as pretty as the girls on Instagram and why I can't be skinny l-like them.' I say with tears dripping down my cheeks. Dan takes his other hand to wipe them away.
'Baby, you're not ugly. Or fat. Or anything else the voices say. You are so wonderful. You're such a joy to be around. I can promise you that you are way more attractive and pretty than those fake models on Instagram. You be the real you. You're not some fake cover up who just wants to look good to get followers. You dress how you want and wear what makes you comfortable. You are also definitely not fat. So what if you're chunky or have some fluff to you. Don't act like I don't have any' dan smiles. I giggle at his last comment.
A/N don't come at me saying I called dan fat. It's just for the story and I think he looks adorable no matter what😍
'Thank you dan' I say smiling weakly at him.
'Of course. Just because they voices tell you something doesn't mean it's always true' he says leaning forward kissing my cheek. I smile at him. 'Now come on. I'm sure the water is getting cold' he says standing up a little waiting for me to stand with him. We stand and he lets go of my hand and grabs a towel behind him. He wraps it around me and helps me dry off. He helps me get dressed and as he puts on each layer of clothes he kisses a part of my body. As he's putting my pajama bottoms on he kisses me thighs 'beautiful' he says. As he's putting my shirt on he kisses me tummy 'beautiful' After he finishes he goes to my face and kisses my lips 'so fucking beautiful' he says as we pull apart. I smile hug him.
I don't know what I'd do without dan. He keeps me protected and sane. I'm so thankful to have him.

I know this is really shitty. I made this within a half hour so I'm sorry if it's not good. If there's any possibility I hope you enjoyed😂 also I'm sorry I've been MIA I will try to start writing more frequently. Please give feedback. Love you guys!