Fated To Be Urs ( Formidable Billionaires - 1)

Chapter 37

Kai's POV

          Was I supposed to be happy that she indirectly expressed my significance in her life? Or should I be worried about the emotional turmoil she was going through which resulted in such an unplanned and unexpected outburst of her feelings? My heart chose the latter option.  In one way or the other my actions were the triggers of the situation we were in right now. Even though she didn't react apprehensively after what transpired in the lawn between us, her reactions now were scaring me. In order not to overwhelm her further with my presence during the few minutes we were inside the house after the incident, I didn't pass any comments and gave her a wide berth even though I craved to see her fluster in my presence. I restrained myself forcefully to express any kind of affection with a worry that it might aggravate her and lead to troubles in our budding relationship. A sense of safety and security was the feeling I wanted her to associate me with not the thought that I might be taking advantage of her. All my efforts to make her comfortable after being so brazen with her before in the lawn went down the drain. They backfired. Infact the outcome  was totally opposite to what I aimed for. Instead of soothing her my efforts gave birth to some insecurities which scared her as the feelings she was experiencing towards me were new to her and unknown to her. She appeared so vulnerable then and I could sense confusion and fear in her body language. I was ashamed of myself for doing that to her. At one other corner of my heart I was happy remembering her words. She inflated my pea sized ego to a hot air balloon with her words that I give her butterflies in her stomach. With those words she cleared all my lingering doubts about her feelings towards me. I was elated to know the reason for my nickname of Hijacker. I always loved being called hijacker by her but now my heart thundered in my ribs with joy. I was eager to hear it from her lips next time. At the same time I definitely didn't want to called as a molester. And my forwardedness in the lawn might earn me that nickname from my spitfire if I didn't placate her worries. God only knows what else she would call me!!?!! It wouldn't be a surprise if she called me a pyscopath or sadist. I didn't have the courage to look at her face and most importantly her eyes which never hid anything from me. The fear that I might find disgust and hatred towards me in them added to this guilt that was consuming me. I wanted her to realise her feelings on her own but not because of any pressure from anyone. I accumulated all the courage I needed and looked at her face. Her eyes confirmed my suspicions that her emotions were in a riot now. I could sense loneliness, helplessness and thirst for affection in them. Shock and surprise were the emotions with lowest intensity out of all the other emotions in the spectrum which were bombarding me. I decided to help her in stabilizing her haywired emotions.

" Ananya, what exactly are you feeling?? I cannot help you if I am not aware of your problems."I asked her in a calm soothing voice as if I was talking to a child.

" I am feeling..... I..... Feel..... Like.......

I don't know. I don't know." She whispered the last sentence. Her eyes brimmed with tears of hopelessness. I realised something momentous then and it was like a lightening struck me. Still I did not want to jump to any conclusions so decided to handle her with utmost care.

" It is alright. Not a problem. Sometimes I also don't know what I am feeling. Not only me. Even Ray also feels like that sometimes." I told her with a forced smile on my lips. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. But if I give in toy emotions now then it would be hard for me to help her. So I was strong for both of us. I turned towards Ray to find him sleeping and sighed in relief that he was not seeing any of this.

" Really!!?!! Does it happen?? Or are you saying it just to appease me" she asked me with a cute frown on her face and narrowed eyes.

" Of course. Don't you trust me??!??ohh!! You hurt me with your doubt Ananya!?! My heart is screaming in pain. Can you hear it?!?" I told her dramatically. My words brought a light to her cloudy eyes. They were shining with mirth. She was sitting her lower lip as if she was controlling her smile. I was happy that I was able to being back her smile.

" I didn't know you have a penchant for drama. But I have to say it even if I hurt since I am your well wisher. You are miserable at it. I implore you not to try it ever again for the sanity of the people around you." She let lose a giggle at the end warming my heart.

" Hmmm. Well I will definitely consider your suggestion but no promises. So, it is getting late. You had a very busy day. You look very tired. You need to go inside now and call it a day. Are your hosts coming home tonight?! Will you be alright alone?!" I asked her diverting her mind from everything else with the hopes that she will go inside and take the much needed rest. She looked towards Ray and smiled to see him dozing off.

" I guess you are right. I didn't realize how tiring baking was. But I had a great time with Ray. One of best days in my life. Mr & Mrs Mehra will come a bit late. I will be alright and there is nothing to worry. You also take care and drive safe." She told me and started walking towards the gate. My heart felt as if it had been relieved of a heavy burden afternoon finding any traces of confusion and worry in her eyes. Still I was worried that she might start thinking about what happened once she went inside. I didn't want to leave her alone in this state but I didn't have much of a choice.

" Contact me if you need anything. I mean anything Ananya. I am here for you. You can contact me anytime. Please do remember that for all future references also. You can just message me whatever it is about.

Now I will get going. Good night. Sleep tight." I bid her bye after she went inside and waited to close the gate. I walked towards my car but her next words stopped me.

" I will contact you if I need anything. Thanks a lot for what you did now. Thanks is a small word for what you did.  Any number of cheesecakes won't compare to it. You too sleep well." She said and the sincerity in her words soothed my nerves which were in jitters because of worrying about her.

" If you think you can escape from baking me cheesecakes with those words then I am sorry to say that I didn't fall for the trick. It is my pleasure to be of any help to you. I feel honoured. " I bowed to her and walked towards the driver side of the car. I heard her tickling laughter and that gave me confidence that she would be alright without me for now. I waved at her and got into car. I waited till she locked the gate. She waved back at me, locked the gate and walked inside all the wide with a smile on her face. I could not seeitbut I could sense it in her steps. There was some new energy found in the way she walked. I drove towards home after she closed the door of the house.

All through the drive what happened few minutes before was playing itself in my mind making me realize many things. She became attached to me just like how Ray became attached to her. I somehow became reasons for her happiness just like how she became a reason for Ray's happiness. My actions of any sort to maintain the distance between us was hurting her the same way Ray would hurt by being away from her. I beacme her strength without no efforts from my side just like how she became Ray's strength. Ray's feelings for her were essentially in the form of parental affection under the shroud of friendship where as her feelings for me were more potent but in the nascent stages under the shroud of not so unknown stranger. In a way she was like Ray. That was why when I didn't behave with her like how I always did she felt my withdrawal very hard. It had a disastrous impact on her soft, tender feelings. No wonder she felt so helpless and vulnerable.i understood her confusion and hopelessness. I inadvertently almost broke her heart. Vikrant was right. I didn't know how much she was affected by her parents death. I assumed I knew but I was totally wrong in assumptions. Today proved that. She needed to become strong for herself and I would definitely ensure that by being with her by helping her embrace her strength.

" You are a very brave woman my Ananya. It makes you more beautiful in my eyes. You will always be my brave spitfire. I will be with you in resolving you worries so that you can move ahead in life. I promise you I will bring back your butterflies and oh I am definitely going to hijack your senses again. I miss you already my darling. " I told myself.