"Lauren..."
I was surprised that Matt had answered at all, and when I hear the shower in the back ground turn off quickly, I'm startled.
"Lauren? Are you there?" His voice is rushed and he sounds desperate, concerned.
"Matt," my voice sounds strangled and the tears I'd felt earlier spring to my eyes and roll down my face, "can I talk to you?"
The sound of the shower door in his cramped little bathroom brings back memories of mud fights. It also tells me Matt is hurrying to get out of the shower. "Just give me a second, Lauren. Let me go back to my room?" He says quickly, his voice rushed.
My heart flutters as I remember my time with him. He'd been the sweetest boyfriend, no doubt the best, but he just couldn't handle my condition.
After a moment or so, his bedroom door clicks shut in the background. "Are you there?"
I choke back a sob and nod like he can see me, "I miss you..." I whisper, "I miss us."
"I miss you, too, Lauren, so much..." He whispers back. It makes my chest contract and I sob finally. "Why are you crying?" Matt's usually husky voice is full of concern and emotion, raw emotion.
"Im scared." I cry, my voice sounding horrible, but I'm far from caring. I wish he was here.
My stomach knots with self-hatred. I hate that I'm falling back on Matt, that I'm doing this to Jason. Most of all, though, I hate myself and my stupid genetics for betraying me.
I wonder if he's seeing anyone, and a part of me wonders if he's stayed alone and thought if me every day I've been gone.
But another thought occurs to me; he's moved on, fallen head over heels for some beautiful, funny, smart blonde barbie with perfect vision and it makes my heart contract painfully. "I'm sorry, you're probably with someone, I shouldn't have called..." And with that, I hang up quickly, throwing my phone off the end of my bed.
Heaving sobs wrack my chest and my head pounds so much that my vision blurs and my stomach churns like a washing machine.
My skin prickles and my forehead sweats. I'm going to be sick and I bound out of bed into my ensuite, hurling into the toilet bowl with great force.
My body aches, I feel drained and I don't even have enough left in me to cry. I slump beside the bowl and rest my head in my hands, expelling a large breath, and I close my eyes finally.
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Short one, but gotta love cliff hangers, right? :D
Until next time,
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