PURE CHAOS.

SEVEN : I KNOW .

Cold beads of sweat started trickling down her body. Her entire bed coated in a layer of it . Sam just kept seeing her face everywhere and it killed her inside . She should've fought harder to keep her alive , sarah was too pure and kind , a rare diamond among the dirt that was this world. It should've been her , not sarah . Sam cried in frustration as she rocked herself back and forth on the bed . It was all her fault, the way Sarah ended up , the way her parents ended up , and the way she was now. It was a permanent scar etched in her brain.

Beep Beep

The sound of her alarm sung, notifying her that it was time for her to get up and ready for another dreadful day at school. She tossed the cover aside and stretched her way out of bed . Then finished that cold shower she brushed her teeth and then walked into the closet. Her eyes narrowed at the selection of clothes and realization struck her .

" Grandma " she yelled .

Nancy came running towards the room " yes dear " she asked .

" what happened to my sweatpants and my hoodies ! " Samantha asked in frustration holding up a bright pink shirt she definitely didn't own.

" I replaced them with better clothes, no granddaughter of mine shall be walking around outside looking like a hobo ! " Nancy retorted back . " it's like you're punishing yourself for something you couldn't control " she huffed out , sadness engulfing her eyes. Then she walked out of the room .

An ache slowly forming in her chest . As she reflected on her grandmothers blunt words . She was afraid to show her scars, she felt vulnerable and weak when someone saw them . Not that many people did see them besides , the doctors and well ... Eric.

His name alone made her stomach flip . A big voice screaming for his attention and affection in the little time they'd spent together, but she wouldn't listen to it . She was smarter than that ; at least that's what she told herself . Maybe it was all a distraction , she was beginning to put up her walls so that she wouldn't feel that pain she felt when he had kissed Monica. She fought herself to even acknowledge it . Samantha was protecting herself, safeguarding her heart . She wasn't going to let it get to her , she couldn't let herself be loved.

She looked through the rack of clothes her grandmother had filled her closet with . Each item either sparkly , revealing or tight . She huffed out a breath as she forced herself to look once more . She managed to find some slightly loose blue jeans and a white T-shirt that exposed a centimeter of her stomach. She quickly put on a pair of white converse and grabbed a large oversized sweater to cover it up. She then gathered all her hair and formed it into a loose ponytail.

After finishing the rest of her morning rituals and grabbing her school necessities she went downstairs following the sweet aroma of cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee. On the island was Nancy her grandmother flipping pancakes talking to none other than a cackling Monica.

" S ! " Monica hollered as she stopped her laughing to walk up to Samantha. " I have sooooo much to tell you ! We should get to school you can catch a ride with me ! It'll be like old times please " she begged .

Samantha didn't want to make it seem like there was anything wrong so she simply agreed to go and then stuffed her face with pancakes and syrup. When she was finished she placed her dishes in the sink and grabbed her bag while waving goodbye to Nancy and walking outside. Then she remembered that Monica hadn't even gotten her license or a car .

" Monica, you don't have your license, or a car how the heck am I supposed to catch a ride with you ! " Samantha pointed out.

" I've got connections " Monica assured her.

Just then a blue expensive looking car pulled up her house . Her stomach churned and she felt unsafe . The driver pulled down the window slowly.

Eric.

She turned to Monica quickly coming up with multiple reasons as to why she was not getting in that car. She knew that even if it was a just a ride , the little ounce of attraction she had let slip through her walls for that boy was far too much. In order to forget it she'd have to completely ignore him until he drained out of her system.

But of course she would never tell Monica that .

" Monica I actually think I'm gonna go back inside I have cramps , I'll just go back inside and pop in a painkiller. I'll meet you at school" Samantha lied.

Monica paused for a second and gazed at her suspiciously before she gave her a hug and then got inside the car.

She instantly clutched his face and began kissing him aggressively. Part of Samantha felt like she did it on purpose but she didn't let herself dwell on that.

She turned around and walked inside waited until they left and started walking to school hands in the coat as she hummed away her worries.

~

She had been late due to the unexpected rain that began to pour extremely hard while she was walking. This was the same rain that soaked her entire outfit. She quickly rushed to her locker and took out her text books trying to doge anyone who might see her. The hallways were empty but she wasn't taking any chances.

She grabbed some spare clothes from gym and began walking towards the bathroom section so that she could change. There were three in total one girl and one for the boys and another for the handicapped displayed in the middle . Just as she was walking by a hand pulled her in the handicapped bathroom. The person locked the door and Samanthas panicking began to set in .She took shallow breaths as she tried to calm herself down , just like she had been taught to.

When the lights flickered on she was relieved.

" what the fuck Eric ! " she yelled angrily.

" We need to talk . " he said softly.

" no we don't. I need to get to first period and I'm already late ! " she protested as she tried to move out.

" sam ... I know ." His voice went soft again .

"what are you even talking about Eric? " she asked with confusion.

" I know what happened to you." His eyes held hers with so much sympathy as he gently whispered " I know what happened to you and sarah . "

Everything went black .

+

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A/N :

The picture in the media section is how I imagine Monica , but you can imagine her however you like.